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Deana she/her

@whorticulturist.bsky.social
137 followers 333 following 249 posts

MN by birth, pain in the ass by choice. Bathroom gripes

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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Walking my dogs in South Minneapolis, alone, and instead of getting murdered; 1 neighbor ran to his front door to say hello and another hollered it from his porch, another neighbor was taking a pull from a heater so she couldn’t say hello and instead opted for a wave.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
If you are doing open streets Lyndale swing by and say Hi!
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
Bring on the heat, I’m so serious right now. No amount of fucking vitamin-D (not a euphemism) is fixing how long the SAD is dragging on.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
I have a hard time believing that Clarice Starling would abide Kash Patel
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Reposted by Deana she/her
Cartilage Pizza @cartilagepizza.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
If this is The Minneapolis Spring then I can’t wait for a national Southside-Style Mayday
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I remember when MN was flyover country; that would be nice to have again.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 12/01/2026
Thankfully no activity on our corner tonight. Tomorrow I get to sit on my doorbell cam and watch the laundromat across the street. No, it’s not a Ring. Fuck that
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 12/01/2026
That I have to sit in my car during restaurant close time and watch so people can go home safely, is bullshit.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
The helicopters can fuck themselves
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 10/12/2025
I cannot begin to describe my love for pink drink. Always the prettiest drink on the menu and she hates your guts.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 26/11/2025
It’s finally cold enough for me to bungee cord the turkey briner shut and let that bitch sit outside.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
Also I just got married; can you tell me
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
Real ID requirements are a huge pain in the ass for women. Now imagine having ALL of your shit together to get one and some man infantilizes you instead of just asking where your divorce decree is?
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
New Ken Burns joint is probably a necessary watch right now. Throw a couple bucks at PBS while you’re at it.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
People bring their children to Las Vegas? Not all places are for kids.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Nobody, and I mean nobody, had DJT blowing Bubba on the 2025 bingo card.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
Over Lake Harriet, I might have fallen in love with the city again.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
Kinda blurry photo of Lake Harriet tonight.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
There’s a woman on TikTok currently doing a series where she calls churches and explains that she ran out of formula and her baby is hungry. Spoiler alert: the only two churches that offered help was a black church and mosque. The christians should be ashamed. Fuck your mega-church
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
Decorated my house on a busy-ass street and have only had two kids, I’m so sad
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
Some fucking bitch just plowed into me at the State and couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge I exist. Stay in the fucking burbs
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
Had the pleasure of sitting in front of Frey campaign worker at the Elvis Costello show last week, the way they talked shit about the candidates and non-supporters was… Something Anyways, don’t rank Frey
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
Has anyone checked the price of a Covid vaccine without insurance? It’s $275 I’ll leave that right there They apply a coupon to get it down to $256 *nods* Yep
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
Ope, Kim Bartmann did something kind of scummy? Water is wet y’all
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Reposted by Deana she/her
Lady_612 (she/her) @lady612.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
Why are local musicians who have tended bar and who might be elected officials on the DFL ticket still cool with performing at a venue who union busted and fucked over a lot of amazing service industry folks in the process?
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
Trent Reznor can still get it.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
JFC. Why can’t people figure out flash on phone cameras in 2025?
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
Selling the Outback on Friday and we’ll be a two EV household
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 08/08/2025
It’s getting to be a weird humidity where the boxwoods REALLY start to smell like cat piss.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 05/08/2025
Today’s adventure in shared gender bathroom antics involved a toilet seat left up, unflushed (we’re at a brewery in OR), and TWO grown-ass men not washing their hands. Y’all are disgusting.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
Apparently you can mess with Texas.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 28/07/2025
I dragged all of my houseplants inside, Minneapolis won’t even get coughed at by Derecho. You’re welcome
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 26/07/2025
Happy to report that the North Loop is definitely not on fire.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
A couple of days ago someone’s mother came into the store and asked for a systemic for her perennials. “We don’t use systemic on perennials, luring pollinators to your yard to kill them seems rude” She was more concerned with the aesthetic of the leaves of her plants.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
Imagine giving a couple of guys “Fuck You” money and then they actually say “Fuck You” within days.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
Everyone is at Minnehaha Park right now. Not a single fire
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
Did I just drive to and from the garden center listening to Billy Idol at an unhealthy volume? Yes Were the blue-haireds annoyed with me? Also yes.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 11/07/2025
This a silver maple tree hate account now. Pulling 5 million saplings out of my perennial beds is getting real fuckin old.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
Hey friends, I’m super worried, I rode my bike from South Minneapolis to Target Field and I wasn’t murdered once. Was kinda looking forward to it.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
Confidential to the person that stomped through my perennials last night; your mom is a hoe
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 21/06/2025
Ted Cruz can’t grow a beard. I mean, why are there pubic hairs glued to his jowls?
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 21/06/2025
Why are there people outside in LynLake? I thought it was always on fire and every person gets murdered.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 21/06/2025
Why are there people in downtown Minneapolis? I thought it was constantly on fire and the cordyceps were taking over.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 18/06/2025
All the assholes left the Gary Clark Jr show early, bye bitches
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 18/06/2025
The normies who spend $80 a ticket to talk over the artist (music show) have got to be stopped.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 16/06/2025
My mailman catches me smoking weed at all hours of the day. I wonder if he and the other mailman (there are 2, they both catch me) talk about me.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
Check out my p*nis cactus
Picture of a 4 inch pot with three nubbins of cactus plants that sorta look like penis’, there are yellow spines at 2 different points on the plant.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
Let’s make one thing clear; Elon doesn’t get a redemption arc. He still sucks.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
Ok. I love the shared restroom idea, I’m not a fucking weirdo, but cis-men have got to try to live in a society. Pissing with stall doors open is not ok. Leaving seats up is not ok Jumping the line while someone is waiting is not ok. Get it together.
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Deana she/her @whorticulturist.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
Idk who needs to hear this but after this mornings little bit of rain, the ground is perfect for pulling emerging creeping charlie.
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