Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 25/08/2026@brianbilston.bsky.social If you go to watch Brian at the Fringe, you literally time travel. So if you went to see every show the Fringe will never end. 121
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 07/07/2026When my wife accused me of always misplacing things, I just lost it. #LunchPun 261
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 02/07/2026This Job lot of old Vinyls I've bought has limited copies of 'Club Tropicana' and 'Wake me up before you go-go' in it. Double Whammy. 120
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 01/07/2026My wife's just asked me who Doctor Congo is? (Dr Congo) I've told her it's the guy who originally invented Um Bongo as a cure for Ebola. I think she believes me. #engvsdrc #England #drcongo 130
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 29/06/2026Just picked this book up in Barnstaple, only a couple pages in and I've already laughed loudly twice. 010
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 29/06/2026First day at Pottery class and I've started building statues of Take That. Its safe to say I've definitely made a Mark. 141
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 28/06/2026With every copy that's bought of the greatest hits of The Special AKA, you get a FREE Nelson Mandela action figure. 010
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 08/06/2026Elephant the elephant #ElephantsInASongOrMovie 000
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 08/06/2026Just been to see the new He-man film 'Masters of the Universe' and thought it was excellent, very enjoyable. 100
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 05/06/2026Remember when I sold a Joke for £106 just over a year ago.... Well I'm at it again. www.ebay.co.uk/itm/16843319...ebay.co.uk2 Brand New Mystery Joke Postcards from Comedian Alf (chris leworthy) | eBay UKFind many great new & used options and get the best deals for 2 Brand New Mystery Joke Postcards from Comedian Alf (chris leworthy) at the best online prices at eBay UK! Free delivery for many products! 211
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 31/05/2026@tothersimon.bsky.social youtu.be/xQ6Yja6H3ms?... Cut to 24:20, there's a joke i can't use anymoreyoutu.beIsolation Interviews Episode 255 (Tim Vine)YouTube video by Matthew Rolland 100
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 17/05/2026Amongst an old lego tub, which also had Duplo and Sticklebricks in it, I found this bone. I seem to recall it might have come from a board game. Any ideas??? 210
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 16/05/2026For Sale: Time Machine Previous day delivery available. 2103
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 08/05/2026I bought a very flimsy book online about muscle tone. When it turned up it was absolutely ripped. 221
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 06/05/2026I know I said, I knew someone who could help you find the word 'controversial' in the dictionary. Don't threat, its under control. 120
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 03/05/2026New Zealand wall sockets look like if the people behind Minecraft did a remake of the movie 'Scream'. 110
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 28/04/2026Last night I saw a burglar sneaking into my neighbours house. But I didn't say anything. Not my place. 141
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 17/02/2026I've off to play Cricket against a team from the local Pancake restaurant. Their Fielders and Bowlers are rubbish, but their batter's brilliant. #PancakeDay #ShroveTuesday 272
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 10/02/2026As a child, my Dad caught me doing Card tricks behind the garage. As a punishment he made me guess the whole pack. 231
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 03/02/2026Had to ring up Walkers customer care line earlier. Someone had put a potato crisp in my bag of ready salted air. 331
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 21/01/2026In the studio putting the finishing touches to my difficult second album. I really need to take more photos. 381
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 20/01/2026So it looks like my debut album should be available for streaming/download etc in the next 48hrs. It's called 'Sauce of Amusement' and it's a Comedy album but different.... 😀 In the meantime, check the link for a short clip from each song. distrokid.com/hyperfollow/...distrokid.comSauce of Amusement by Alf!!Stream and Save Sauce of Amusement - Distributed by DistroKid 010
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 20/01/2026Currently trying to find funding for our local church's tower renovation. If you're interested, give us a Bell. 061
Reposted by WhoelsebutalfWhoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 17/01/2026New Album coming soon!!! 022
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 19/01/2026Just doing a little bit of unpaid work for a Local Shed Roofer. What can I say, I Felt for him. 151
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 17/01/2026Gary Barlow once asked me if I wanted to stand in for Robbie Williams. I wasn't sure how to Take That. 330
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026So next Thursday/Friday I will be releasing a Comedy album. It's called 'Sauce of Amusement' and it's quite different. It'll be out on most streaming platforms as well as on YouTube. I'll be posting a few teasers next week. 110
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026At my Dad's last job he never lost a single case. That made him the top baggage handler at Gatwick Airport. 471
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 15/01/2026I got offered the chance to do Naked Standup Comedy recently. There was no money in it, but it was worth it for the exposure. 490
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 14/01/2026When my Wife suggested I go on a diet, I was on the fence. Until it broke. 151
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 14/01/2026A bit of a shock this morning. My dad's Boyfriend just came out as gay. 351
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 13/01/2026The thing I hate most about Internet Security questions... 011
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 13/01/2026Lady from Animal shelter: Are you looking for a male or female dog? Me: Bitch, please! 162
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 13/01/2026People pronouncing Kyiv wrong is my new pet Pyiv. 151
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 29/12/2025I always prefer my chips to be covered in Cheese but apparently it's against Casino rules. 172
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 29/12/2025Everyone: Why are you attaching tinsel to your new bear gloves. Me: For.... [Turns to Camera] .. .. dramatic paws 120
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 29/12/2025Spent ages editing my film entitled 'Why is Specsavers so expensive' but the production company have decided to scrap the whole thing. Some problem with the framerate or something. 231
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 29/12/2025Someone said that I'm terrible at finding words that rhyme. That person was Joe Shmo. 020
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 29/12/2025Found a folder in my twitter drafts called Unsent posts, these are things I thought i'd posted but for whatever reason didn't get uploaded. There is only 3-4 so I might as well post them all now. Hopefully you enjoy at least one of these next few posts.... 010
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 26/12/2025Just popped up on my Facebook memories from 2020. Use the words at the bottom to complete the Puns. Every year I do a Christmas quiz for my family to do and this year I did a pun round (not all my jokes mind). 000
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 23/12/2025[Neighbour looking over fence]: What are you growing this year? [Me, shaking pack over garden]: It's going to be a Dorito Tree. 020
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 23/12/2025"Wow man, congratulations, you're on fire at the moment!" "Cheers buddy, i'm not sure how I keep doing it" ~ Spontaneous Combustion World Champion 031
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 16/12/2025The person most likely to criticise the Air Conditioning on the set of 'Saved by the Bell' is AC Slater.media.tenor.coma man wearing a red jersey with the number 3 on it is running down stairs .ALT: a man wearing a red jersey with the number 3 on it is running down stairs . 051
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 16/12/2025I was meant to be giving a wild Boar a skin graft today and ended up making a pig's ear of it. 121
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 15/12/2025Wife: Why do you always over-complicate things? Me: 8/16 men do exactly the same. 000
Whoelsebutalf @whoelsebutalf.bsky.social · 15/12/2025Not bothering with decorations this year. Just hanging up all my Christmas jumpers instead. #christmasjumperday #Christmas #Christmas2025 020
