Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 14/10/2026The other night I fell asleep on the couch and Ely woke me up and asked me why there was a knife on the table and I said there are two answers and I feel like you’re not going to like either of them. 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 14/10/2026Trump absolutely lends himself to fascism. But then I picture him reading Spengler and it’s like you could included some crayons. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 14/10/2026It’s bonkers what airports let you get away with if you’re a decently dressed white person with passable manners. Once a flight attendant asked me to put up the tray table on which I had just crushed up Klonopin and I was like ma’am if I could please just have twenty seconds. 120 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Ranking the murder reels from Sinister (2012) on a first date: 5. Car Fire 4. Bed Knife 3. Pool chair 2. Tree Limb 1. Lawnmower 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Ely caught me scraping my face pile into one of her pill bottles and the look she gave me would have killed a lesser dirtbag. 100 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Got ambushed by a women’s health ad that opened with “Do you still pee when you sneeze?” and I was like one how dare you and two stop talking to my wife she doesn’t have a filter. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Every day Starbuck woke up and lit a candle to pray that Ahab would find that big white bastard and just die already. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Innan þē þǣr bēoþ twi wulfas. One of them is like I would super like to die and the other says you haven’t done what it takes to earn that. Then you have to sit and figure out what all that shit means. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 27/09/2026On this, my parents’ fiftieh anniversary, please appreciate this backwoods cult photo from their wedding shoot where the groomsmen were wearing brown tuxes and the bridesmaids were wearing canary yellow. You can play Joni or the Mamas and the Papas to this if you want to. 030 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 27/09/2026When you were a dirtbag/crustpunk for years there’s no rehab for that, you just kind of live through constant reminders of “hey that’s gross”. Ely had to tell me to stop building piles of my face on the bedside. So I started putting them in one of her Rx bottles. She doesn’t love that either. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 27/09/2026One of my kinks is liking teams whose fans hate my favorite team. Eagles, Dodgers, Union, Wings, Queens, yell all you want you cant stop me. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 27/09/2026When I was six, my brother covered himself in a blanket and asked me to run and jump on him until he died and I tried because at that age my concept of ethical duty of care was on an Of Mice And Men level. Anyway on the third attempt he jumped up and slammed the door on my head. Everybody learns. 040 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Admittedly the first thought I had when I heard he was at Baker and Fell was like how, did he take the 5? 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 07/09/2026A mountain lion was spotted in the Panhandle maybe half a mile from me so we’re having a quiet night because Ziggy thinks he can fight anyone and Dito thinks everyone is as dumb as he is. 110 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Watched The Deep House (2021) last night and about fifteen minutes in I was like well I can tell you three things already that you shouldn’t have done and then nothing happens for an hour and then all my worst fears happen in rapid succession. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Graves At Sea with Corrupted. They had to cancel because one of the GAS guys got another DUI and was barred from leaving Arizona. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 30/08/2026The last thing you hear before you die is the Athanasian Creed so you can be like okay I have at least three minutes so I can make some calls. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 30/08/2026Yesterday we brought sushi maki to the park for a picnic and a wasp just landed on one and started stinging it and I was like that’s kind of weird and then he burrowed headfirst into it and dug out a chunk of tuna and flew away. It was gross but in an I’m Not Going To Stop Watching kind of way. 130 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 29/08/2026I asked Ely if she thought Peter Stormare was better in Fargo or Constantine and she said she didn’t like Constantine and I was like well I didn’t want to start a whole new conversation but hereya we be. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Once an engineer was like how did you put sixteen tracks into forty-five minutes and I said well we’re a skate punk band so we just wait for someone to yell “GO” and then see who can get to the end first. Like F-Zero with speed picking. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 28/08/2026I for one don’t hear the distinction between “hot” and “hot garbage” so maybe just save your breath. 010 0
Reposted by Marlene DetritusBerberian Sound Sussudio @ascannerburkely.bsky.social · 28/08/2026I'm hearing it's now official, America resides at the bottom of a lake 041 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 27/08/2026One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen a cat do was when our grey cat Francis got mad that we moved his litter box from the kitchen doorway into the bathroom because we were having guests so he walked to the entryway and pooped on the welcome mat while staring at us. 010 0
Reposted by Marlene Detritusspookyobscurae @tinyobscurae.bsky.social · 27/08/2026new creature is struggling to be born 1252 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 26/08/2026A very sweet thing Ely says is that if I feel “wobbly” I need to stay home because I probably haven’t eaten in several days but it makes me feel like a goblin from the Hundred Acre Woods. 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 26/08/2026My wife keeps hiding knives from me because I keep putting them under pillows. There are other reasons. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 25/08/2026You already had an angel, you didn’t need a new one. 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 25/08/2026A thing I thought was really annoying was saying things like “Whatcha we doin’?” or “Whereya we be?” or “Howya we at?” and nobody gave a shit they was like that’s jus wulf he’s from Dark Corner and probably ran into a stump. 110 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 25/08/2026So I was at the doctor’s the other day and my worst fear came true because one of my former students came by and instead of playing dumb I was like oh yeah ten years ago, PMH and I counseled you. Dumb as shit thing to say before a psych interview. 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 24/08/2026I’m not sure I’ll ever not have a chihuahua mix again. 030 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 23/08/2026[Gavin Ross as a drunk teacher voice] “LISTERINE” 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Dito can deftly jump on the bed after his surgery but he loves the cushion steps so I guess that’s a permanent fixture now. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Truthfully I’m not sure I trust you as a WNBA fan if you don’t have two favorite teams. Wings @ Valkyries just being bi as hell. 050 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 18/08/2026I love baseball headlines that you are legally obligated to read in a 1920s voice. 020 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 25/07/2026“Ziggy” and “Dito” are short for “Zacchaeus” and “Bandit” respectively, and it’s funny because they will act up but come running if you use their full names like kids in a department store. 050 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 24/07/2026"Hey Ho" is a thing I say to Ely to mean "it's whatever" because it's a reference to a Hello Saferide song, for which the video is about a girl abandoning her street dog, and let me tell you she hates that shit. If she's not close enough to turn it off she will throw a can at me. 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 13/07/2026This baby is jumping up stumps and chasing balls after surgery like a hero. I’m love his stupid impacted-ball-free-ass. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Imagining Bertrand Russell’s Barber’s Paradox but it’s just about only loving people who don’t love themselves. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Once I got kicked out of what I thought was a 24hr laundromat at 10pm and I was like really because I’ve been sleeping here for a few days when I should have just said okay. 240 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 03/07/2026I think that if you pay for a ballpark display proposal and they say no you should have to pay double.Thanks for wasting our time, loser. I just missed out on getting my scorecard caught up. Now Dubón has an error. 050 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 03/07/2026I just recalled that I gave my wedding vows in seven languages and only after remembered that I also know Italian and Latin but I hate Italian and couldn’t think of a single romantic passage in Latin. Did Catallus or Seneca ever carve initials in a tree. 030 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 03/07/2026I say “Go Birds” to any Philly fan I see in SF and they get so happy which brightens my spirit but also it’s funny because I just cracked your demeanor, you nerd. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 13/06/2026It is endlessly funny to me when people talk about Tolkien and suddenly jump up into an accent with place and character names like oh did you do do a semester abroad in Gondolin. 050 0
Reposted by Marlene DetritusThe “check engine” light on your dashboard @aklingus.bsky.social · 03/06/2026Even this is a charming tidbit because he got to meet Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen (and Rosario Dawson) a few years ago, which gave the world this wonderful photo bsky.app/profile/cpto... 25410 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 03/06/2026Ugh. The fundraiser that our friends are throwing for Dito’s surgery is tonight at our neighborhood bar. I have no idea what to expect because I very Protestantly declined to be involved in planning. 100 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 31/05/2026My parents, whom I love very much, inexplicably bought us a 36” silver gelatin print of the Golden Gate Bridge and I don’t know what to do with it. If we put it up people will be like what you can’t walk twenty minutes. 030 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 24/05/2026Unbeknownst to me, a friend and neighbor put together a fundraising thing for Dito, and I am so uncomfortable/Protestant that I want to ignore it altogether. Why can't I just name him as my beneficiary and do the other thing. 020 0
