Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 15hWe are both that horrible confluence of stoic and abashed. When she realized what was happening I was so out of sorts that all I could think to say was “do you want it.” 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 15hNo he just thought she would figure it out. The same thing happened with me and Ely; I put the box in a bag of her favorite candy and she was like what is this doing here. 110 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 15hHe slipped it into the prize packet and she was like oh look I got a ring and it threw him off and he had to be like okay, so. 110 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 17hI straight up would not exist if not for the Dodgers (my dad put a ring in a Cracker Jack box at Chavez Ravine) to propose to my mom. Also they keep grabbing my favorite players. 120 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 14/10/2026The other night I fell asleep on the couch and Ely woke me up and asked me why there was a knife on the table and I said there are two answers and I feel like you’re not going to like either of them. 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 14/10/2026Trump absolutely lends himself to fascism. But then I picture him reading Spengler and it’s like you could included some crayons. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 14/10/2026Funny thing is that the flight was from Las Vegas to Long Beach. I could have just watched the first forty minutes of Con Air (1997) and been fine. 020 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 14/10/2026The passenger next to me was like are what the hell was that and I replied it’s okay you’re not going to have to worry about me for a while. 120 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 14/10/2026It’s bonkers what airports let you get away with if you’re a decently dressed white person with passable manners. Once a flight attendant asked me to put up the tray table on which I had just crushed up Klonopin and I was like ma’am if I could please just have twenty seconds. 120 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Ranking the murder reels from Sinister (2012) on a first date: 5. Car Fire 4. Bed Knife 3. Pool chair 2. Tree Limb 1. Lawnmower 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Ely caught me scraping my face pile into one of her pill bottles and the look she gave me would have killed a lesser dirtbag. 100 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Got ambushed by a women’s health ad that opened with “Do you still pee when you sneeze?” and I was like one how dare you and two stop talking to my wife she doesn’t have a filter. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Every day Starbuck woke up and lit a candle to pray that Ahab would find that big white bastard and just die already. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Innan þē þǣr bēoþ twi wulfas. One of them is like I would super like to die and the other says you haven’t done what it takes to earn that. Then you have to sit and figure out what all that shit means. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 27/09/2026On this, my parents’ fiftieh anniversary, please appreciate this backwoods cult photo from their wedding shoot where the groomsmen were wearing brown tuxes and the bridesmaids were wearing canary yellow. You can play Joni or the Mamas and the Papas to this if you want to. 030 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 27/09/2026When you were a dirtbag/crustpunk for years there’s no rehab for that, you just kind of live through constant reminders of “hey that’s gross”. Ely had to tell me to stop building piles of my face on the bedside. So I started putting them in one of her Rx bottles. She doesn’t love that either. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 27/09/2026One of my kinks is liking teams whose fans hate my favorite team. Eagles, Dodgers, Union, Wings, Queens, yell all you want you cant stop me. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 27/09/2026When I was six, my brother covered himself in a blanket and asked me to run and jump on him until he died and I tried because at that age my concept of ethical duty of care was on an Of Mice And Men level. Anyway on the third attempt he jumped up and slammed the door on my head. Everybody learns. 040 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 07/09/2026I saw No Country For Old Men at the last showing in an empty theater and afterward I just sat in the parking lot smoking Lucky Strikes and appreciating not having to talk to anyone about it. 030 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 07/09/2026lmao. “There’s a line around the corner at 6:50am bud you cant just show up at noon.” 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Two things: Books Of Blood (2020) is so good to rewatch and Roger Ebert’s review of Hellraiser (1987) is one of my favorite things to reread. He hated that movie with his life. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Coyotes I understand, but where the hell did this guy get lost. Just going to post up by the DMV and Falletti and hope for the best? 100 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Admittedly the first thought I had when I heard he was at Baker and Fell was like how, did he take the 5? 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 07/09/2026A mountain lion was spotted in the Panhandle maybe half a mile from me so we’re having a quiet night because Ziggy thinks he can fight anyone and Dito thinks everyone is as dumb as he is. 110 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Watched The Deep House (2021) last night and about fifteen minutes in I was like well I can tell you three things already that you shouldn’t have done and then nothing happens for an hour and then all my worst fears happen in rapid succession. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 03/09/2026I’ve shared to everyone I know. Unbeknownst to them I have a lot of lore about wasps and fairies. I can talk for hours and then I fall asleep. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Graves At Sea with Corrupted. They had to cancel because one of the GAS guys got another DUI and was barred from leaving Arizona. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 30/08/2026The last thing you hear before you die is the Athanasian Creed so you can be like okay I have at least three minutes so I can make some calls. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 30/08/2026Yesterday we brought sushi maki to the park for a picnic and a wasp just landed on one and started stinging it and I was like that’s kind of weird and then he burrowed headfirst into it and dug out a chunk of tuna and flew away. It was gross but in an I’m Not Going To Stop Watching kind of way. 130 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 29/08/2026I asked Ely if she thought Peter Stormare was better in Fargo or Constantine and she said she didn’t like Constantine and I was like well I didn’t want to start a whole new conversation but hereya we be. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Once an engineer was like how did you put sixteen tracks into forty-five minutes and I said well we’re a skate punk band so we just wait for someone to yell “GO” and then see who can get to the end first. Like F-Zero with speed picking. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 28/08/2026I for one don’t hear the distinction between “hot” and “hot garbage” so maybe just save your breath. 010 0
Reposted by Marlene DetritusBerberian Sound Sussudio @ascannerburkely.bsky.social · 28/08/2026I'm hearing it's now official, America resides at the bottom of a lake 041 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 27/08/2026One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen a cat do was when our grey cat Francis got mad that we moved his litter box from the kitchen doorway into the bathroom because we were having guests so he walked to the entryway and pooped on the welcome mat while staring at us. 010 0
Reposted by Marlene Detritusspookyobscurae @tinyobscurae.bsky.social · 27/08/2026new creature is struggling to be born 1252 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 26/08/2026A very sweet thing Ely says is that if I feel “wobbly” I need to stay home because I probably haven’t eaten in several days but it makes me feel like a goblin from the Hundred Acre Woods. 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 26/08/2026I know nothing about Baltimore County Cork (I’m assuming) so you could tell me anything. Gargoyles and midnight picnics, who knows. 110 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 26/08/2026My wife keeps hiding knives from me because I keep putting them under pillows. There are other reasons. 010 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Okay does Surrey or Baltimore have more cred. 110 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 25/08/2026You already had an angel, you didn’t need a new one. 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Red Hill? Oh beautiful baby you rough like a truck. 110 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Do you know how rude that is. You can’t even tell a little tall tale, you could’ve said I ran into a tree someone already cut down. I didn’t, by the way, I ran into the wall of a post office. 120 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 25/08/2026A thing I thought was really annoying was saying things like “Whatcha we doin’?” or “Whereya we be?” or “Howya we at?” and nobody gave a shit they was like that’s jus wulf he’s from Dark Corner and probably ran into a stump. 110 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 25/08/2026So I was at the doctor’s the other day and my worst fear came true because one of my former students came by and instead of playing dumb I was like oh yeah ten years ago, PMH and I counseled you. Dumb as shit thing to say before a psych interview. 000 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 24/08/2026I’m not sure I’ll ever not have a chihuahua mix again. 030 0
Marlene Detritus @waelwulf.bsky.social · 23/08/2026[Gavin Ross as a drunk teacher voice] “LISTERINE” 000 0
