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Van Alan

@van-alan.bsky.social
188 followers 73 following 2.9K posts

Bruins outsider. Zero Fs given. Twitter personality in exile. Producer of OneVanArmy w/ @jwirb.bsky.social‬ and Snack. Recurring character @shortshiftpod.bsky.social‬. Has a day job.

PostsRepliesMedia
Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 2h
Yeah dude that's how a virus works...... Man he just really doesn't know ANYTHING.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 3h
I've said this before and I guess I was wrong - this is what him spiraling looks like. He's failing miserably, lashing out at anyone who points that out, and basically resigning himself to calling fake news, renaming stuff, and posting AI slop. This is Downfall in the bunker (but dumber).
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 3h
If there was space on the main floor then the arena was by definition not sold out. A concert that has empty floor seats that people in the upper deck "migrate" to once they saw they were available, is not sold out.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 6h
"I order you to make things less expensive". Its the kind of thing you get from a boss who doesn't actually know how anything works.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 6h
1) basically everyone thinks this is unethical 2) they don't even think it's a good idea 3) no one believes he'll actually do it It's a trifecta of stupid that you only get from a person party who is completely out of ideas.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 7h
Bro shut the fuck up
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 8h
Answer: yes people acting like pieces of shit triggers me.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 8h
I see team rapist is alive and well
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 17h
That shit eating grin makes me want to throw things
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The great price Richard Nixon paid was *checks notes* not getting to be President of the United States anymore.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Fuck JD Vance and the horse he came in on
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Also um, I keep hearing how the stock market is the only part of the Trump economy that's doing well but.......has anyone looked at the stock market recently? If you haven't, go look at the Dow and then look at the trend line since early August. Just saying.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Agreed. Parties/campaigns can be wrong to and are just as likely to underestimate their support as they are to overestimate it. However the fact that they are behaving like they're about to lose badly is an indicator. Whatever else is true they clearly don't think they're winning.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
They really got nothing but "oooooh scary trans stuff!!!!" It's honestly depressing.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
For example, in 2022 Democrats essentially conceded Wisconsin, then Mandela Barnes came within a point of Ron Johnson. Clearly they were wrong and actually had a shot there had they given him a little more support. However these guys are on the ground and their behavior is telling.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
We can look at the polls all we want, but the best indicator of where things stand is probably Republican behavior. They are acting like a party that thinks it's screwed and is trying to limit the damage. Now, they could be wrong. Internal polling is just as likely to be wrong as public polling.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
You have a 33% approval rating.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Want Trump’s enduring support to make sense? Acknowledge that ton of his supporters, even those who don’t even realize it, are white nationalists. They may call themselves isolationists or American-first or whatever, but they’re really white nationalists.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
They are all CRIPPLINGLY insecure. Lord Farquaad wasn’t overcompensating this much.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
But we must protect the women’s bathroom and women’s sports with the power of a thousand suns!!!
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
All these guys going on about manliness are insecure overcompensating little pricks and someone has to have the balls to call them what they are. No one secure in their masculinity talks about it this much. They’re fucking weird.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Abdul rocks and more people need to say this - the vast majority of these guys are weird, insecure, overcompensating little bitches. No one who’s secure in their masculinity talks about manliness as much as Pete Hegseth does. Nobody’s fooled bruh.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I wish more people would use this degree of nuance. The founders were complex imperfect people who nonetheless had many brilliant, forward thinking, liberal ideas. In fact for a bunch of rich white landowners in the 1700s I’d say they did pretty well.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
🎯🎯🎯 JD Vance is what happens if the idea of being a drag became sentient.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
There is literally no business practice this guy won’t support if there’s money in it. “Yeah the sludge they dumped in the river gave the whole town leukemia, but have you SEEN their Q4 revenue numbers!?” This is how these dudes think.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
This likely voter screen is bizarre and hard to understand.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
If you got rid of a threat the job is done. If you are still doing things to keep the threat gone it isn’t gone.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
If only there had been a deal with them that they were honoring. Oh wait, there was.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Ya know this is actually admission from him. It’s him acknowledging that everyone thinks he sucks. His normal line would be “everyone is saying how amazing we’re doing and everyone loves us”
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
He looks like what he is - shit
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Name something positive that they should ask you about that isn't completely made up.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
And like say Smith HAD been at that Hawks game........so? He was in the same city at one point? Is that supposed to mean something?
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Go ahead? Have fun?
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Also "I need more information" before issuing a pardon that overturns a jury's decision is an acceptable answer. "I don't have enough info, so I guess I'll just give this convicted rapist the benefit of the doubt" is a fucking WILD thing to say.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It is 66% conservative in a country that is roughly 50/50 liberal v conservative. Statistically it is too conservative.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
He's honestly so stupid and lazy even HE doesn't actually know what he's saying. He's literally asked "you keep saying 'it's a hoax'. What? What's a hoax?" He doesn't know and hasn't even bothered to come up with a teaspoon of bull shit that even sounds believable.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Dude nobody is fooled. And the fact that you're this fragile tells us everything we need to know.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
This dude is the embodiment of insecurity. Lord Farquaad wasn't overcompensating this much. Seriously this is the guy whom you make like one minor joke about him having a small dick and he shows up the next day with a box of magnums and puts it right on top of his dresser where EVERYONE can see it
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
This dude is what would happen if the concept of crippling insecurity became sentient.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
@davidnir.com caught you on Strength in Numbers today. Are there any good polling aggregators on here that you follow vs. ones you’d stay away from?
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
That 9% of Trump voters are a yes they just don’t want to admit it.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
That would imply that he researched it at all. They found out that there was a game in Atlanta that day and ran with it. That is all the research that they did. It's insane for a United States Senator to be this lazy. Then again, look at the President.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
This is honestly the most classic Republican shit I've even seen. Goes off completely half cocked with accusations that are disprovable via 5-minutes of fact checking, then freaks out and gets even angrier when you point out that his dumbass is completely wrong. Surprised he didn't say fake news.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
This dude needs to get his ass kicked.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I will go to my grave with part of me believing that there is no Trump. He died years ago and an alien is wearing him MIB-style.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
You can see the words "WTF is this dude talking about" forming in Smith's head while this asshat grandstands. Forget the fact that *checks notes* being in Atlanta means literally nothing. You didn't even have any info that he was there other than the most flimsy circumstantial evidence ever.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I mean, how about just a basic follow-up of "ok, do we actually have any evidence that he was at this game?" They just looked up that there was an NBA game in Atlanta at that time and assumed he was there. They made NO effort to actually corroborate in any way.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I cannot think of a single blue state Senator as dumb as Tommy Tuberville. Diane Feinstein TODAY is still smarter than that dude.
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Nicolas Cage Orgasm Face
ALT: Nicolas Cage Orgasm Face
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Van Alan @van-alan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
FFS you're a United States Senator. Spend 15-minutes checking your facts. Where do you get off being this god damn lazy?
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