iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

got this mailer today and i can’t stress enough that this photo is intended to be flattering, like they picked it from several presumably worse options

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

20 years ago today we accosted gameday with a gigantic cutout of our buddy’s head for some reason

a cutout sign of greg’s head with a bucket hat that reads “i love you tyler schmitt,” positioned behind kirk herbstreit. kirk’s head is pretty big in it’s own right, but it is absolutely dwarfed by greg’s. the chyron reads “how will colt mccoy handle adversity?” and we would learn later that the answer on this particular day was “not well”

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

still convinced that everything after this was a sixth sense situation and brian moorman was unaware that he died on the field that day

a prone and lifeless body wearing number 8

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

it shouldn’t be possible to be this rad, scientists believed there was a theoretical limit

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

it's called ebenezer, lemon. a neo-dickensian thriller starring johnny depp as a slightly younger scrooge with lots of bracelets who fights his way up through the london crime underworld

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

i think we could've done it if bob pettit got credited with blocks and steals www.82-0.com/share?id=82Z...

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

i’m a big fan of “further lessens”

Tatsuya Imai's latest implosion further lessens Astros' expectations for starter

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 25/04/2026

based on the current standings, this is what's left to shove liberty to the back of the line

UAB (Alabama-Birmingham) $64
South Alabama $93
Arkansas State $114
Coastal Carolina $168
Southern Mississippi $172
Florida Atlantic (FAU) $177
Troy $201

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

look at my sister’s wilford brimley-ass cat, mf lecturing me about the diabeetus

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 24/03/2026

truly haunting stuff, i imagine his sons reacher and reacher are the last thing you see before transitioning to the great HOA meeting in the sky

the shadow of an unseen man, enormous and rather square, frozen in a moment of dispensing violent justice

faceless children, shrouded in mirrored visors, soundlessly watching without emotion from their extremely sick bikes

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 18/03/2026

your honor if it pleases the court,

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 16/03/2026

when the wind covers the yard in leaves and then blows away the piles that i have arduously raked and then blows in a bunch of new leaves to replace them

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 11/03/2026

i understand the narrative focus on rubio, but we need to discuss just how close to the sun vance flew when he ordered up these size 13s. it's entirely possible he has a second pair of shoes on inside of these magnificent gravy boats

jd vance's dainty hooves swallowed into the yawning void of two comically oversized shoes, laces drawn fully tight to absolutely no avail

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 11/03/2026

oh hell yeah this is the good shit

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 28/02/2026

katie stewart hit a ball so gd hard that it put a crater in the second story wall of the building across the street from the ballpark

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your pal uly @uscocksman.bsky.social · 03/02/2026

sorry boss i'm gonna be a late because i tried to fight a teenage girl. no i didn't win. uh huh. yeah a pretty devastating chokehold tbh. no i had to borrow this phone. no i didn't see where it landed