iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 1h

I often feel likewise ignored and minimized and silenced or like I'm screaming into an uncaring void of hate You deserve better

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 1h

Is bad for it in my experience and so are communities of other neurodivergent people who are not under stress or who have a lot of privilege Because they find the way I experience and express my stress to be contagious or activating or something I think No matter how I try to express myself.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 1h

I'm sorry things like this happened to you I am also marginalized a lot when I'm in distress When things are good for me and good in my life I have community and people want to be around me but when things aren't good my communication suffers and people find me overwhelming The tech community

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 11h

Genuinely am having stress induced panic attacks so bad tonight they are giving me neurological symptoms

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 11h

I'm so scared I can't stop crying and nothing is helping tonight Some of this pain is physical too Vomited again

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 15h

And also thank you for being here and reading if you do read even tho I'm going thru what is genuinely one of the worst parts of my life 🫂 I really appreciate you, you don't have to say anything at all I also know it can be hard to watch so I understand 💜

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 15h

Thank you marijuana I smoked something that helped with the sensation I was experiencing earlier Sorry for so much trauma posting Love you all Will try to be happier People are concerned about me

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 16h

I will be here tomorrow even if I don't want to.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 16h

Someone sat with me on the phone because she's scared for me. I'm sorry if you worry about me. I genuinely don't know what's going to happen. I don't want to keep living this way. But I can promise that right now I don't have an active plan to harm myself. I love you.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 17h

Because I've been homeless so many times, everyone expects me to be on drugs or to have severe mental health issues [ FYI I do have severe mental health issues but I'm aware of those issues - and cope with it by crying and trying to do art which is hard to do when I'm homeless and stressed ]

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 17h

I really feel bad for anyone who invested any care or time or effort into me. I could have maybe done something with my life but I've spent most of my life in and out of homelessness so I might as well be a waste of space.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 17h

Talking to people who show me care makes me feel worse right now, because their care is real but it's also not going to matter.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 17h

I would steal that book and leave $10 in donations for the real author

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 19h

The system is [ trying ] to [ love ] { you } The system is [ trying ] to [ want ] { as well } The system is [ sorry ] to [ hate ] { you } The system is [ trying ] to [ love ] { itself }

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 20h

Homelessness feels like being a damaged C-3P0 in the empire's trash compactor.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

Feeling like the whole world wants you to die except people who only want to have you around for a while (or only while things are good) but can't make physical space for you to live in is a wonderful sensation that really makes you enjoy what drugs or cutting yourself feels like instead.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

And nobody will care. All the people who could care either "can't help" so they're looking away or feel desperate themselves. I need somewhere safe to rest my body and mind for a while and there is nowhere safe anymore.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

And I'm in so much nerve pain all the time. 24/7. My medications are barely touching it but if I take more I won't be able to think well enough to get out of my situation. I feel like I'm dying.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

I can barely speak to people. Can barely make phone calls. Can't sleep. Can't wake up. Feel like a zombie even on my medication. I keep pretending things are okay even to my closest friends and the people who love me. But they can tell.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

I'm tired of feeling like this all the time. I need a safe place to live that isn't under constant threat. Constantly having to move, having to do dangerous or borderline things just to survive. Can't maintain my habits. Keep losing things that are vital to my survival. Can't find anywhere to live.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

Whenever I have a quiet moment I start to panic. I keep vomiting. I can't eat most days. I feel tense and cold at the same time. Everything sounds so loud. My face hurts from crying. The sounds of people talking is terrifying. I just want it to end.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

I'm so scared. It's not like anyone who has the power to do anything about this reads these posts anyway.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

I can't get my mind off of this

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

Going to delete this fucking stupid account it ruined my life this whole thing everyone I met everything about the future is bad and wrong

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

There isn't fucking space anyway

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

If you have never been homeless before please don't suggest a shelter

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

Will be homeless by the end of October Can pay for a room, have money but my budget is tight If you know of any safe options please let me know

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

Genuinely asking for help here

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

Not having a good time being alive right now Need leads on safe housing Can't find leads Getting overwhelmed Crying a lot Can't focus Don't have any help searching, none of the people I know are able to help me or find any leads Extremely scared because I have only one option and it's a horrible one

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 21h

This broken gem feels alone even in a crowded home she's not sure why she has to choose <[ feeling safe, being abused ]>

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 22h

Hope is in really short supply here

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 22h

Everyone acts like I'm begging for a fucking handout

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 22h

I'm not asking for a handout I'm asking for a safe situation I can afford

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 22h

I don't want to live on this planet sometimes

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 22h

Or they don't reqllg give a shit about me or they're too far away to help or they don't have space

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 22h

All my friends are homeless too

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 22h

It wishes it had a safe place to live and doesn't feel alive or hopeful today.

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 23h

This view is really amazing 🌻 thank you for sharing it !! I like how you framed the tower in the last photo and it's really dramatic light

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 29/09/2026

You aren't though 🫂 you seem like a normal person

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 29/09/2026

What ddoes it feel like when you think about it, if that's not too much to ask? I get this weird cold feeling and feel kind of separated from myself and it's really disgusting when I think a lot about trying to be in front of a large number of people :( Ironically have 300 ppl watching me here 🥶

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 29/09/2026

Aww that sounds really scary to me but I have social anxiety real bad 🫂💖

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 29/09/2026

Oh! Ha! Well, I am face blind as a general rule, so you could have said it was you and I would have believed you! 🤣

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 29/09/2026

Ha! :) I'm glad I remember right! You have a nice smile Shelly it makes me smile too 🙂

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 29/09/2026

Ur icon is new, I remember the account not having a face before I think? /High and sleepi might be wrong 😮

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 29/09/2026

I see a picture of u Shelly!!! 😱 ♡

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 29/09/2026

I should make friends with normal people instead of neurotypicals - lots of things will go better

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 29/09/2026

🫂💜 don't need to respond, the hug is for you This sucks It's okay to not be okay

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nonspecifically red @unfixable.place · 29/09/2026

Pain is so bad I'm unable to speak and cannot type without assistive tech

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