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Chris Upton

@turkeyplucker.bsky.social
86 followers 93 following 731 posts
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Chris Upton @turkeyplucker.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
...that both our hearts may be set to obey thy commandments...
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BCP Minus Context @bcpminuscontext.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
In Easter Season, add Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.
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Chris Upton @turkeyplucker.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
She's not wrong!
BCP Minus Context: "a most wholesome doctrine,"
Jay Hulme: "I was teaching someone about the Trinity and they went "so God the Father can't fart, but Jesus can! Because of the body!" And I went "Yeah! God the Father doesn't exactly have a colon, as we know it!" And then I looked over and the priest was just hunched over, covering his face with his hands."
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The Revd Dr Sara Batts-Neale @sarabn.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
I cannot recommend enough adding @bcpminuscontext.bsky.social to your collection because about twice a day there are created the most marvellous coincidental comments on adjacent posts...
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Sheryl Weikal says Prosecute ICE @leftistlawyer.com · 08/03/2026
This International Women's Day, please remember that trans women are women. Full stop. No qualifiers.
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In Quires and Places where they meme @quiresandplaces.com · 18/02/2026
A little something for Ash Wednesday. #CursedCarols #Lent
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Chris Upton @turkeyplucker.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
A little on the late side (it's been on the wall a few days, I just haven't got round to posting it), here is the Kitchen Clock, 2026 edition. As ever, each picture somehow represents the number whose position it takes; your challenge is to explain the connections.
A wall clock with twelve small (5.7cm diameter to be precise) pictures instead of numbers. My challenge is to describe them without giving away the answers! 1 A young man in formal dress with a silver trophy. 2 A blue and gold ancient Egyptian mask. 3 A diagram of a sports field; green with a yellow rectangle at the centre and a small red dot (difficult to see) towards the upper left. 4 A pizza with various toppings. 5 A group of people in strange costumes; a non-humanoid creature standing behind them. Two of the human(oid)s have what appear to be fan-shaped hairdos. 6 A red brick building (this one I think will only be gettable by people who know this area). 7 A row of people on horses silhouetted against a red background, casting long stylised shadows towards the viewer. 8 A black and white picture of two young people standing by an old car. 9 A cloud in a blue sky. 10 Some skittles scattered by a ball, the word "Strike" is written above them. 11 A young person's face, let quite red, against a blue background. 12 A person in a bright multicoloured garment, flaring out at the bottom as if they are twirling round. I hope this description helps, but not too much!
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Chris Upton @turkeyplucker.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
A little on the late side (it's been on the wall a few days, I just haven't got round to posting it), here is the Kitchen Clock, 2026 edition. As ever, each picture somehow represents the number whose position it takes; your challenge is to explain the connections.
A wall clock with twelve small (5.7cm diameter to be precise) pictures instead of numbers. My challenge is to describe them without giving away the answers! 1 A young man in formal dress with a silver trophy. 2 A blue and gold ancient Egyptian mask. 3 A diagram of a sports field; green with a yellow rectangle at the centre and a small red dot (difficult to see) towards the upper left. 4 A pizza with various toppings. 5 A group of people in strange costumes; a non-humanoid creature standing behind them. Two of the human(oid)s have what appear to be fan-shaped hairdos. 6 A red brick building (this one I think will only be gettable by people who know this area). 7 A row of people on horses silhouetted against a red background, casting long stylised shadows towards the viewer. 8 A black and white picture of two young people standing by an old car. 9 A cloud in a blue sky. 10 Some skittles scattered by a ball, the word "Strike" is written above them. 11 A young person's face, let quite red, against a blue background. 12 A person in a bright multicoloured garment, flaring out at the bottom as if they are twirling round. I hope this description helps, but not too much!
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Jo Wolff @jowolff.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
Have been thinking about “immigration has been tearing this country apart.” Surely I’m not the only person to think that it isn’t true, but inflamed rhetoric about immigration by politicians is what is tearing this country apart and so statements like that only makes it worse.
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Tube Mapper- Luke Agbaimoni @tubemapper.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
Under Over Over - West Hampstead So it's taken a while, but I've finally found a location where you can clearly see London Underground trains traveling over London Overground trains. The vantage point is at West Hampstead Overground station at the end of the platform.
London Overground under the underground
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New-Cleckit Dominie @ncdominie.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
Happy Feast of St Michael and All Angles to those who celebrate.
Icon of the Archangel Michael holding a 360-degree protractor.
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Helen @helenm40.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
Precisely. I also ignore people who pretend to be afraid of transgender people. Or ducks. The solution is to work on yourself and / or get therapy, not get rid of the immigrants / trans people / ducks.
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Brian Bilston @brianbilston.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
Here’s a poem called ‘English Roundabouts’.
English Roundabouts
 
They’re making the roundabouts great again 
by painting the flag of St George
to keep our circular road systems safe
from the dark, satanic hordes.

What do they want? Patriotic junctions!
When do they want them? Before it’s too late.
Good old-fashioned English roundabouts,
as decreed by Alfred the Great.

Behold the sacred intersection,
this blessed plot, this septic isle.
English roundabouts for English people,
draped in red and white and bile. 

St George is cross, as well he may be –
whipped-up hate, he’s seen before.
Give way to the right, the road signs rage,
and the far right most of all.

Brian Bilston
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Chris Upton @turkeyplucker.bsky.social · 03/01/2025
So I think there's 1, 2, and 12 still to be explained here. (FB had a full set of answers five hours ago.) 1 is a character name, 2 must be harder to identify than I thought, 12 is bilingual wordplay.
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Chris Upton @turkeyplucker.bsky.social · 02/01/2025
I've been putting this on the Book of Face for years, now it's debuting here. Every January we devise a new set of pictures for this clock. Each picture represents the number you'd expect to find in that position; your challenge is to tell me how.
Image of a clock with a round picture in the place of each number. I'm afraid I don't think I can adequately describe each individual picture without giving away most if not all of the answers.
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🏳️‍⚧️ Alexandra Merideth Erin [she/her] @alexandraerin.com · 26/12/2024
"Boxing Day" is another example of creeping secularism erasing the church. Remember the rephen for the Stephen.
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Patrick Allies @patrickallies.bsky.social · 24/12/2024
*Radio voice* Somewhere in Northern Europe, a man dressed in red and white is getting his 18 elves ready for a big final push. At 3pm, one of them will be chosen to sing the first verse of Once in Royal David’s City.
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Bryony Taylor @vahva.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
I learnt last night that the expression is 'God rest ye merry', an old way of saying, God bless you. There is a comma after merry. The gentlemen aren't merry, they are being blessed! Apparently the phrase appears in Shakespeare.
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Chris Upton @turkeyplucker.bsky.social · 13/11/2024
First advantage of joining the New Place: new profile pic instead of the one I chose when I joined the Old Hellsite 13 years ago.
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