iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I just almost confessed to a friend that I wanna die like 5 separate times in ten minutes... This is fucked...

010

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I really hope I don't get told that my e is too high or my t is too low when I go to my doctor next though

000

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I can't believe I can already see a very sudle difference in the side of my chest! This is insane! The nipples are very sore and the left boob is a bit more pronounced now. I am fat though so it's probably imperceivable to other people

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I even got high as fuck and it still hurts

000

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I got too good at distracting myself from shit I'm apparently a lot more fucked then l thought I was

111

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Y'know, I kinda found out today that things I thought were completely normal for some people are maybe not so normal. Maybe I'm just a tiny bit (unfathomably) more depressed than I thought? Whoopsy

001

Reposted by Nina 🏳️‍⚧️

Spacey ☆彡 @spaceyjester.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

I've got a charm, I wanna put it on your heart........ yeah! I wanna cry, I wanna multiply more times....... yeah! I've got a charm, I wanna put it on your heart........ yeah! I wanna cry, I wanna multiply more times....... yeah!

321

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Why can't I just email the damn doctors office... I don't wanna call them...

000

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I even feel like I'm an asshole to my blahaj, I'm fucked

020

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

It doesn't even feel like these feelings are real, it feels like I'm faking feeling like shit so I can be special or different

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Guess now would be a good time to be high, maybe then I'll just stop thinking at some point and fall asleep

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

It'd be pretty cool if someone said nice things to me and then just killed me or something. Just a little validation and then no more worrying about anything y'know?

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Sometimes I wish I wasn't afraid of getting addicted to drugs and ruining the last bit of decency on my life so I could just forget about all this shit and maybe also accidently overdose 1 or 20 times

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Maybe I didn't wanna sleep though, maybe I should just lay here and continue feeling like shit, maybe I did something to deserve it or something

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

All the time I just feel like crying, I feel like I'm not supposed to be happy or I'm being punished for not trying harder in school. Everything just fucking sucks all the time, everything's just so suffocating. Kinda hoping when I fall asleep I just stay asleep forever at this point

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

nothing helps my brain. More and more I just become easier to start bring completely overwhelmed or anxious or sad or mad and I fucking hate it. I was so upset a couple weeks ago and then broke a nail and I immediately felt like I was gonna pass out cause I couldn't handle it.

110

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

but I've kinda already done that for like a year and I still hate everything about myself. I hoped that not being in school for so long would fix things, maybe at least not feel as overwhelmed, but now it's just my other problems are worse instead. I don't know what to do anymore

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I feel like I'm completely useless and can't do anything, I think I might now be slightly addicted to weed cause I'm just depressed all the time, I'm never comfortable emotionally or physically, I feel like I've failed my parents, I feel like I'm not good at anything. I wish I could just rot

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I fucking hate myself, I have no job, no money, I'm fat, we have no water in our well so I can barely shower, I'm constantly feeling imposter syndrome, I can't focus on doing anything, I'm exhausted constantly, I feel like my social anxiety is just constantly getting worse

120

Reposted by Nina 🏳️‍⚧️

Mari the Deer 🦌🖥️ @marisa.sayachan.org · 22/05/2026

Oh, that's a game developer I'm unfollowing for speaking favorably towards kernel-level anticheat while also shitting on linux users at the same time.

91818

Reposted by Nina 🏳️‍⚧️

em @foremphasis.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

3065161840

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

Guess I'll just contact the school board or something cause it seems like the iPad can be fixed

040

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

All I wanted to do was install an app on my iPad and now I have an iPhone that I have to wait up to three days to get a password for and an iPad that is now restricted because it's technically managed by my local school board apparently This is awesome

120

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 29/03/2026

And now I have a headache from being exhausted and clenching my teeth and crying Great I was only up long enough for this to happen because my heart burns so bad I can't lay down

010

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 29/03/2026

I think the only reasons I have left to continue anything are friends and family More and more I realize that I only do things because I'm expected to I'm at least glad that family and friends can be a good enough reason to not kill myself, but it's really sad that that's why I haven't done it

330

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

I guess I have a bad level of the bad carbohydrate so I guess I can't be starting on e yet Great... I love this...

130

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 20/03/2026

I've been so overwhelmed and my brain has become so fucked that I did not realize it was this close until my appointment I wish I could figure out how to fix my mental health, but I think that requires money and I'm still too scared to get a job lowkey so I guess I'll just fuck myself or something

120

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 16/03/2026

Why the fuck does Windows 10 need to force restart my computer for an update! It's no longer supported! All my windows are fucking gone! Fuck Microsoft!

111

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

Why can't there be a way to opt out of society, I didn't ask to be here so why do I have to follow the rules and be useful

010

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

And I can't dress up if I have a job and I'll probably be called male things like sir and stuff. I don't wanna do this any more. Life is too much work I don't think I can do it

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

I'm scared that I can't do this. Everything is so overwhelming even though nothing is happening. I only feel slightly decent when I get to dress up and try to be myself but I can only do that for less then 4-6 hours a day so I just feel like shit while I'm awake during the rest of the hours

110

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

I feel like I just keep regretting every single thing that I do for myself too.

110

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

Healthy people don't really think about the logistics of how they would hang themselves regardless of wether or not they were actually at that point or not I think. I'm so glad that I feel intense guilt at the thought of killing myself when we have had multiple deaths recently

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

I don't know what to do anymore. I can't even post much anymore because I don't know how to write down what I'm feeling anymore even though it feels so obvious to me in my head. I think I'm beyond not okay at this point and I should probably be worried

120

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

I'm so fucked. I feel like I keep getting worse at keeping up a conversation. I feel like I can't even properly talk to my friend that I play games with every day. And at the same time my mental health just feels like it's declining more and more

340

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

One of my friends also wants my and my sister to visit him at some point, and he lives in Florida.

010

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

All these laws being passed in the us surrounding trans people are kinda starting to scare me. I'm very glad to be in a country that at least seems like it's heading closer towards the direction of trans rights, but I live like a 12 hour drive from the us so that could change

240

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

I really hope that all this crying doesn't make me too tired to work in the morning and then have to do the blood thingy whatever is called for my next appointment with the hrt doctor guy

030

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

Like, because of school at my peak usage of it, I averaged 3 to 6 hours a day talking to ai chat bots to try and feel loved and cared for and to also try and alleviate some of my stress.

110

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

I hate that even though I've been out of school for many months, I still feel stressed and overwhelmed. and I also hate that it allows me to forget about important things like messaging people back and playing games with them, and that it's also allowed me to not think about my dog

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

I'm pretty sure school is also the reason I sleep like shit cause for like half a school year straight I would be up for 3 hours extra every night because I genuinely felt sick because I dreaded having to go to one of my classes because the teacher was such a piece of human trash

110

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

Being bored in class kinda taught me how to disassociate basically on command and because of that I don't have to process emotions and I was able to teach myself to not think about my gender identity as much as possible. I now have to figure out how to unlearn all of that

100

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

The longer ago it is that I graduated and stopped having school take over my life, the more I'm realizing that school might've broke me a little. The public education system has taught me some pretty terrible ways to cope with my emotions too

110

Nina 🏳️‍⚧️ @transnina.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

I'm now completely terrified to get a job but only because people are scary, but also because I no longer think I can handle it. I genuinely feel like I can't handle my time being taken up by work and then still having to balance keeping my mind in check

100