torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 4hJust remembered he released his first Prison Diary using the pen name FF 8282 (his prisoner number). Even though everyone knew it was by him he presumably thought he was highlighting the dehumanisation of incarceration and how he was now just another number in the system, man (the silly twat). 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Jeffrey Archer once won a court case because the judge thought his wife smelled nice. However, this has proved not to be enough for what many see as the ultimate judgement (death). 100
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026"All the girls in France do the Digger Rockwell dance" 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Julie, if you're reading this... Let's give it another go. 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026RIP Marjoe Gortner. Interesting life story. Also once twatted a giant chicken on screen. youtu.be/rfHQ8PpIWFM?...youtu.beFood of the Gods (1976) - Man attacked by Giant ChickenYouTube video by Ross Williams 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 04/10/2026C I N E M A youtu.be/xJyyNN_rrnM?...youtu.beAMSTERDAMNED (1988) - CANAL SPEEDBOAT CHASEYouTube video by Thomas the Thinker 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 03/10/2026(something something this is actually the real horror something etc) 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Only ever seen clips of this show - usually highlighting what a grotesque exploitative spectacle it was - and, yep, this doc shows it was exactly that. Slightly marred perhaps by the (regretful/ambivalent) participants interviewed having a big cathartic singalong to Pink at the end 😭 100
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Harvey's always liked giving a chance to young, up & coming film-makers. 010
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Someone in the marketing department must have said: "Let's... make Captain Birdseye cyberpunk!" 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026This is nothing compared to when they turned Captain Birdseye into a young hunk with a submarine. None of that captain's table shit. Sexiness and danger! These aren't your parents' fish fingers! (I think everybody must have hated it though because he soon went back to being a salty old sea dog) 100
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Elton John did the same with Axl Rose in the 90s. He loves trying to rehabilitate/validate homophobes. 030
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Anyone in their 70s now would have been in their 20s when punk happened. 021
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Copyrighting the campaign slogan "Get Br-ack to where we once belonged" right now (Cease & Desist order from Paul McCartney notwithstanding). 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 01/10/2026The first trailer for this was all about the Master Of Misfits returning. What's happened? Were not enough people excited at the Master Of Misfits returning? Are they now trying to pull in all the people who don't care about the return of the Master Of Misfits?? (It still looks shit of course) 001
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 27/09/2026In the next James Bond film, Q will introduce him to the latest Meta recording devices and the rest of the film will just be Bond hanging around city centres at night secretly filming groups of women who've had a few drinks. 001
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 25/09/2026(Not sure it really works but) Captain America: Civil Wor 040
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 24/09/2026In this timeline, did Nirvana carry on and did Dave Grohl stay a drummer? Sounds good! 011
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Shame they didn't think of this when The Queen was still alive. 04214
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 18/09/2026(Older readers will recognise this as The Thrashing Doves Syndrome) 001
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I always felt sorry for that band Drenge, who Watson used to constantly big up to burnish his cool-dad persona. They've been inactive since 2020, possibly for other reasons obviously, but I wouldn't blame them if they'd just split up out of sheer embarrassment. 100
Reposted by torstferatutorstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 19/12/2025David Walliams' real surname is actually the more common Williams so it was quite considerate of him to change it to something unique so anyone called David Williams wouldn't have to add "Not THAT one" to their bio. 072
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026🎵 They played the fiddle in Ed Sheeran's band But decided: fuck this English man 🎵 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Ooh, Burnham will be dying to say something like: "This is the best line-up this venue's seen since Festival Of The Tenth Summer in 1986!" (which he'll probably claim to have been at) 010
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026RIP Catherine Ringer. Les Rita Mitsouko had some proper bangers. youtu.be/fGZRVGlGZ6A?...youtu.beLes Rita Mitsouko - C'est comme ça (Clip Officiel)YouTube video by Les Rita Mitsouko 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 14/09/2026In the interests of fairness / to avoid abuse from furious Sheeran stans, he issued a pissy statement about how the reason he hired the anti-homeless spikes specialists was actually to keep out the press. I guess he didn't really consider the anti-homeless aspect of the anti-homeless spikes... 041
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Remember when former (fake backstory) homeless man Ed Sheeran hired an anti-homeless-spikes company (who boasted about how great their anti-homeless spikes were at keeping homeless people away from your property) to install anti-homeless spikes outside one of his many big houses? I do. 1113
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 14/09/2026My friend cuts my hair for me. She doesn't have a licence. Am I a future walking crime scene? Will I have to hand myself into the police? OH MY GOD Oh wait, it's the Lib Dems lol 010
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 11/09/2026A couple of months after the film ones, the tv Baftas invited the heads of the New York City Fire Department on stage as special guests, who received a long, emotional standing ovation. They then got them to present the Best Soap award to Eastenders. 0122
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 11/09/2026There was also this dvd that was due out a few weeks after 9/11 which got pulled from release. Even Danger Mouse got caught up in it! 111
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 11/09/2026In an alternate universe, there is a version of The Proclaimers who have sound, progressive views and people are attacking them and saying: more like The Woke-claimers! 000
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Just remembered Delfin's 9/11 tribute: youtu.be/h9yvb03R2qs?...youtu.beDelfin Twin TowersYouTube video by 321ebutuoy 000
Reposted by torstferatutorstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 16/08/2026This post has reminded me that there was a 9/11 issue of Spider-Man (which the so-called 'super heroes' failed to prevent, of course) where even the supervillains - no shrinking violets when it comes to death and destruction, remember - were appalled and upset. (Cheers dr dooms crying, Nice one) 011
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 07/09/2026One minor thing that distracted me way more than it probably should have is the way Samuel L. Jackson keeps calling her 'love'; like his character was originally written as British and nobody (including Jackson himself) could be arsed changing the script. 110
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 07/09/2026"A woman being beaten up by an angry, violent mob? I must have missed that" 050
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Remember that cool French retro detective kid that turned up outside the Louvre heist? We don't have that sort of thing in England. The closest we've got is a guy who wants to fuck his cousins. 011
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Well, maybe if there's a new Falklands War, we'll have to send him away on loan like Spurs did with Ardiles. 020
torstferatu @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 05/09/2026I don't think it's enough to qualify as a Spate but I'm seeing an increasing amount of anti-dog owner graffiti around. Stay alert, doggo pals. 000