torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 27/09/2026In the next James Bond film, Q will introduce him to the latest Meta recording devices and the rest of the film will just be Bond hanging around city centres at night secretly filming groups of women who've had a few drinks. 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Just spilt coffee over my last pack of Rizlas. 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Shame they didn't think of this when The Queen was still alive. 04214
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I always felt sorry for that band Drenge, who Watson used to constantly big up to burnish his cool-dad persona. They've been inactive since 2020, possibly for other reasons obviously, but I wouldn't blame them if they'd just split up out of sheer embarrassment. 100
Reposted by torstenjanustorstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 19/12/2025David Walliams' real surname is actually the more common Williams so it was quite considerate of him to change it to something unique so anyone called David Williams wouldn't have to add "Not THAT one" to their bio. 072
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026🎵 They played the fiddle in Ed Sheeran's band But decided: fuck this English man 🎵 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026RIP Catherine Ringer. Les Rita Mitsouko had some proper bangers. youtu.be/fGZRVGlGZ6A?...youtu.beLes Rita Mitsouko - C'est comme ça (Clip Officiel)YouTube video by Les Rita Mitsouko 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Remember when former (fake backstory) homeless man Ed Sheeran hired an anti-homeless-spikes company (who boasted about how great their anti-homeless spikes were at keeping homeless people away from your property) to install anti-homeless spikes outside one of his many big houses? I do. 1113
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 14/09/2026My friend cuts my hair for me. She doesn't have a licence. Am I a future walking crime scene? Will I have to hand myself into the police? OH MY GOD Oh wait, it's the Lib Dems lol 010
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 11/09/2026A couple of months after the film ones, the tv Baftas invited the heads of the New York City Fire Department on stage as special guests, who received a long, emotional standing ovation. They then got them to present the Best Soap award to Eastenders. 0122
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 11/09/2026In an alternate universe, there is a version of The Proclaimers who have sound, progressive views and people are attacking them and saying: more like The Woke-claimers! 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Just remembered Delfin's 9/11 tribute: youtu.be/h9yvb03R2qs?...youtu.beDelfin Twin TowersYouTube video by 321ebutuoy 000
Reposted by torstenjanustorstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 16/08/2026This post has reminded me that there was a 9/11 issue of Spider-Man (which the so-called 'super heroes' failed to prevent, of course) where even the supervillains - no shrinking violets when it comes to death and destruction, remember - were appalled and upset. (Cheers dr dooms crying, Nice one) 011
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 07/09/2026"A woman being beaten up by an angry, violent mob? I must have missed that" 050
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Remember that cool French retro detective kid that turned up outside the Louvre heist? We don't have that sort of thing in England. The closest we've got is a guy who wants to fuck his cousins. 011
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 05/09/2026I don't think it's enough to qualify as a Spate but I'm seeing an increasing amount of anti-dog owner graffiti around. Stay alert, doggo pals. 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 04/09/2026My ex gf used to pronounce the word 'banal' like 'anal'. When I corrected her, she said "That's a shame because I've been telling everyone I really wanted anal sex but all you give me is banal sex". The relationship ended shortly afterwards. I actually just made this up, thanks for checking in. 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Not true. She's just ghosting you because you're a weird loser. 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Like another famous Ebenezer, he's very much maligned and misunderstood. 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Ah, I knew I'd done my Diana Memories on here already. 000
Reposted by torstenjanustorstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 25/07/2026I've decided that if I see anyone posting positively about that Scrooge film, I'm going to assume they're either a reactivated Amber Heard-era bot or a fully-grown adult with a poster of Captain Jack Sparrow on their bedroom wall. 001
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 27/08/2026"Hello, come to watch my book being pul-I mean, donated to schools, libraries and hospitals across the UK, US and other territories worldwide" 120
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 27/08/2026"My friend Ratko certainly had some colourful views which often landed him in trouble but there was something almost admirable about his unapologetic anti-wokeness" Me, for The Spectator: 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 26/08/2026RIP Tim Curry As mentioned, a rare un-outlandish role in a straightforward drama playing the kind of obnoxious real-life horror who slimes through life consequence-free knowing they're always protected by class & status. Possibly the most skin-crawling character he ever played & he 100% nailed it. 021
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Okay, I'm gonna be the one to say something negative about Dolly Parton: She once made James Woods appear a bit likeable and dorky. Other than that, a treasure of a human being. RIP youtube.com/shorts/BiVcz...youtube.comStraight Talk 1992, Dolly Parton & James Woods Dancing!YouTube video by 777 G2 010
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Gen X didn't call in sick because we were too busy "slacking" to have jobs to call in sick to. Stop getting Gen X wrong! 010
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Post a picture that should be an album cover. (I'm thinking either Christian right-baiting 80s US punks or one of those Drugs Are Like Religious Ecstasy-type acts) 010
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 22/08/2026They should do what they did with the Joker sequel: Show how actually that guy in the first film you all thought was cool isn't that at all! It would lose spectacular amounts of money, of course, but it will earn MY respect - and that's the most important thing. (Still wouldn't watch it though) 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 21/08/2026The Coconuts (of "Kid Creole and" fame) doing their own thing. youtu.be/wwerg4JDw4c?...youtu.beThe Coconuts - Did you have to love me like you didYouTube video by mydevicepuntoit 010
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Saw the headline/pic and thought: lol, Quentin Tarantino's let himself go. Turns out, *that* scene in Pulp Fiction is one of the ACTUAL reference points for his argument. Wow. Anyway, I presume his essay is called Why Is It Okay For Them To Say It But Not Us? or something like that. (Not read it) 110
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 18/08/2026I really liked that Frank Beard actually grew a beard in the 1990s. He was like: Nah, get a new "fun fact", everyone. RIP 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 17/08/2026I always thought the Beatles biopics were a bad idea. This image only seems to confirm that. 011
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 16/08/2026I'm sorry if Bluesky hasn't been working for you today. I did a great post earlier and it broke the site. 010
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 16/08/2026This post has reminded me that there was a 9/11 issue of Spider-Man (which the so-called 'super heroes' failed to prevent, of course) where even the supervillains - no shrinking violets when it comes to death and destruction, remember - were appalled and upset. (Cheers dr dooms crying, Nice one) 011
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 15/08/2026"He used to be different. He used to be kind. He used to be caring... Of course, he called himself Dr Optimism back then" 031
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 14/08/2026The media in this country love driving unwell people to their deaths. 110
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 14/08/2026If I had to explain to an alien (or someone who doesn't follow UK politics) who the LDs are , I'd probably say: the party for people who don't really believe in anything but don't want to feel left out whenever there's an election. 120
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Isn't this why Saltburn was so popular with Gen Z-ers - because it depicted the mid-00s as this fascinating vanished, alien world of youthful hedonism and partying? (I don't actually want to think about Saltburn) 000
torstenjanus @torstenjanus.bsky.social · 13/08/2026ROSE OF NEVADA (Dir. Mark Jenkin, 2025) I think I've admired Jenkin's previous two films more than actually properly liked them but this - his best yet, about a (possibly) cursed, time-jumping fishing boat - proves he's a real one. #Filmsky 📽️ 110
