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Chris

@tootthekazoo.bsky.social
528 followers 321 following 475 posts
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Legit flag on Lawrence, though another one of those situations where I don't know what else he was supposed to do there after slipping
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
This game has to at least be approaching a record for most personal foul flags and all without so much as a scuffle between the two teams
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Not sure JSN was down on that third down play?
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
WAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOW SOUNDERS GO GO GO
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
What in the fuck kind of call is that?
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Man, what's up with Dickson today?
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Holy wow JMO Not a lot of players that would even consider trying to get a shot off from that ball. Love it
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
My wife's doctors always dismissed her tiredness as being a busy, ambitious college student until she finally was able to get tested and diagnosed. She manages well with medication but the days are still dictated by the need for at least one nap and grossly limited driving times/distances.
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Jackson O'Lantern-Brien @sprobeforebros.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
“Deciding on a premise” One of the most enduring muppets bits is two monsters and a hippie scatting along to a half remembered piece of music originally from a Swedish soft core porn film. You don’t need a premise. The premise is “there are muppets”
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DrawPlayDave @thedrawplay.com · 03/11/2025
Me: I think I can turn this one off That one tweet: The Seahawks have never played a normal primetime game Me: oh no
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
lol why the hell would you throw that
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CRIMINAL SIMPSONS @criminalsimpsons.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
static.klipy.com
What The
ALT: What The
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I had surgery a week ago and the failed IV attempt on the back of my hand still looks fucked up and bruised like Trump's hand does all the time.
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Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Arte Moreno bought the Angels in 2003 (the year after they won the Series) for $184 million. He then spent 23 years running them into the ground, let the stadium decay, wasted Trout and Ohtani, and sold for $4 billion. And the owners are crying poverty and threatening to kill baseball next year.
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Immediate pre-order, no questions asked
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Disney Prime Video + ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ @disneyprimevideo.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
We are also updating our maps.
Top: Edna Krabappel says "our country isn't called America anymore"

Bottom "its Bonerland"
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Cal is sitting in the dugout right now looking at a calculator mathing out how to end up with back-to-back 60HR seasons
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Nice for the Mariners to plan a very-hyped rookie debut on a day where the game isn't available on their own streaming service. I don't have Fox so I'll have to find alternative means, I guess
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Hey, I see the Mariners are jingling some keys at us. At least the keys will be fun to watch
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Zito @zeets.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Man I hope that people aren't seriously piling on Julio for losing track of how many outs there were while our backup shortstop was throwing BP to the opposing team in the 8th inning while down by three touchdowns
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Love that Google has these neat little automatic widgets that updates me with sports scores so that I can keep track of my team at a quick glance. Must be a great game, sad I'm missing it!
A screenshot of an Android smart phone home screen with a widget showing the Seattle Mariners beating the Milwaukee Brewers by a score of 22-0, which is actually the exact opposite of what is happening.

The home screen's background is a stylized representation of Carl and Princess Donut from the book series Dungeon Crawler Carl. They are seen free falling from a biplane in the sky above them
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
This would be a very ominous post in Mariners land
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
"Cowser? I hardly Booser!"
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Sounders players really need to stop getting hurt I think
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Here comes the world's most predictable 3 run HR
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Man, Paxton sucks at throwing HR Derby pitches
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The Onion @theonion.com · 04/08/2026
New Evidence Suggests Dinosaurs Had Quinceañeras theonion.com/new-evidence-suggests-…
New Evidence Suggests Dinosaurs Had Quinceañeras
Latin American Coming-Of-Age Celebration Dates Back To Triassic Period
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Chris Kluwe @chriswarcraft.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
This is literally Nazi shit. This is what the Nazis did. If you support this, you are a Nazi, and if that makes you upset, then STOP BEING A FUCKING NAZI
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
As much as I dislike what it's been costing me every month, I started taking Zep for my sleep apnea 7 weeks ago and it's been nothing short of life-changing for me. Can't use my CPAP anymore because it's way too strong (appt coming to get that fixed) and I'm down 25lbs and feeling amazing
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
BIG DOMPER
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
WHOA DOM
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Hey the Sounders may have lost their fifth in a row but at least the Mariners lost their fourth in a row
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
"No Jomboy needed for that one"
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
@cjzero.bsky.social Reds M's B7 Robles AB almost hit second base ump and pitcher Ferguson via M's broadcast in slow mo yells "get your fucking fat ass outta the way!"
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
LMAO "get your fucking fat ass outta the way!"
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
lol Cal said that's enough of this well-earned disrespect
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Lawrence Sonntag @sirlarr.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Books don't make me great at singing Linkin Park or doing karate kicks.
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Grover Asparagus
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Don't think that's a foul, but I'm lost these days with rules enforcement
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Yo that was real bad. Uninspired play
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
I guess if there's a positive take heading into the second half it's that they can't possibly be worse on defense and if they can start defending better they'll end up with better possession opportunities
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Has this team ever practiced together?
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
It's like they're terrified of committing a foul anywhere near the box so they're just giving them tons of space
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Holy shit!
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
These guys are playing real scared
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Chris @tootthekazoo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
US looking real bad defensively and yup as I type this they let a real easy one go in
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