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TheWebMachine

@thewebmachine.bsky.social
116 followers 78 following 629 posts

I'm the friend you have to warn your other friends about before they meet me... ...and apologize for after I'm gone. #SorryNotSorry

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Mrs. Betty Bowers @mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I think in reality what socialism actually means in the American context is that trillionaire Elon Musk got $38 billion from the U.S. government and you got rejected trying to buy a $1 soda on SNAP benefits.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Turns out we had a mass shooting in Georgia yesterday where 2 were killed and 35 injured. I only found out about it due to the BBC's coverage. Funny how none of the US outlets have reported on it, isn't it? www.bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
Georgia officials hunt for suspect in shooting that killed two and injured 35
A homecoming celebration turned into a scene of deadly violence, as dozens of shots were fired into a crowd.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
This week on Bill Maher: NEWS FLASH: OLD MEN ARE SCARED OF SHIT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND! 🙄🤦‍♂️
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Because AI's circular financing bubble is the only thing keeping US GDP afloat. Reign them in, the bubble pops, and the entire economy goes into a full-blown recession.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I updated all of the apps on my phone *less than 2 days ago* and there are already 64 new updates waiting for me in the Play Store!? I call total bullshit. Ain't no way in hell y'all are putting out meaningful updates this quickly all at once. This is *exactly* why I keep auto updates turned OFF! 🖕
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Hey @teamtalaricohq.bsky.social! How do I get a couple of those yard signs I keep seeing? I do NOT want to be signed up for any mailing lists or spam or SMS campaigns or anything like that; may my privacy and sanity be spared. I just want a couple of signs for my yard, that's it! 😉
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The US Government is soooooooo prone to "irreparable harm," but only when the Repubes are in control. Definitely the result of fragile old men in office. Call 'em the GOSP from now on: The Grand Old Snowflake Party
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
As someone who is entirely self-employed, I pay an effective tax rate north of 28%! If anyone needs a break, it's the millions of self-employed who are the very essence of the "American Dream." Alas, we don't have dark money and Super PACs to rep us...mostly because we're paying double the taxes.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
US Government says it found a whopping *1600* cases of voter fraud...in a country of 211M active voters. For perspective, that's 0.0008% of the total nationwide voter base; it doesn't even amount to a rounding error.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Anker has started sending their promotional emails to me in German, instead of English. I've never even viewed the German Anker website. 🤷‍♂️ In the immortal words of Will Ferrell's "Alex Trebek:" Bist du Isländer oder zurückgeblieben?
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Video Downloader @down.blue · 28/08/2026
🇬🇧 Bluesky's moderation (@moderation.bsky.app) has flagged this bot as spam. Apparently, this happened because it sends too many replies to different users (in other words, it is doing its job), despite the profile properly indicating that it is an automated account.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/09/2026
Report Reveals Jesus Christ May Have Benefited From Father’s Influential Position To Gain High-Powered Role As Lord And Savior theonion.com/report-reveals-jesus-c…
Report Reveals Jesus Christ May Have Benefited From Father’s Influential Position To Gain High-Powered Role As Lord And Savior
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/09/2026
Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming theonion.com/trans-teen-hatches-nef…
Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
It pains me so when The Onion's parody intersects reality. How the fuck did I end up on *this* timeline?
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
The People of Texas deserve to see this report NOW. The only reason to delay the release is to DEFRAUD your voters by failing to provide vital statistics about existing policies ahead of an election. Without the report, I have to assume that 10X as many mothers have died. Prove me wrong!
keranews.org
Texas won’t release first maternal death report since overturning of Roe v. Wade until after midterms
The report, which has traditionally been released every other year on or near Sept. 1 will now not be released until Dec. 1.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I slept "wrong" and fucked up my shoulder and neck, which presents an annoying thought: How utterly fucked are we as a species when we can't even get the basics of sleep "right!?" We have an entire industry based on improving something that should be as natural to us as breathing air. We're doomed.
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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
🔥 we see you polymarket🤔
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Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 15/09/2026
He’s catatonic
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I get that math is hard but when someone with $Hundreds-of-Billions tells you they paid $Millions of dollars in taxes, IT'S A BRAG! It's often 1% or less of their income. How much of your income is taken in Federal Tax? I paid 26%. A flat tax would eliminate the gymnastics used to evade them.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The way Repube leadership talks, Texas Values™ include: 1. Fuck over thy neighbor 2. Scam and defraud like thy God intended 3. Lick the boots of thy Corporate and Religious Overlords like good little Sub Cucks Tis another prosperity gospel: "Give us all your money and you'll be rich!"
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Post it far and wide. #FuckTheFCC youtu.be/WLDE9LrGpNk
youtu.be
Jimmy Kimmel’s Interview with James Talarico That the FCC Doesn’t Want You To See
YouTube video by Jimmy Kimmel Live
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Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 11/09/2026
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
The level of desperation in President InEpstein's $5k bullshit bribe tells me everything I need to know about how the Midterms are gonna go. Dems will have landside victories and Repubes will scream fraud like their political lives depend on it.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
In other news...OpenAI spent $7M in compute to solve a math problem with a $1M prize. In case anyone isn't clear on how AI economics work, this was labeled a "win" for the company. 😆🫪💀 www.quantamagazine.org/ai-has-solve...
quantamagazine.org
AI Has Solved One of Math’s $1 Million Millennium Prize Problems | Quanta Magazine
Mathematicians at OpenAI showed that the Navier-Stokes equations, which describe how fluids flow, can sometimes “blow up.” But the massive result is not without controversy.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
The Trump Mob Family and, by extension of willful enablement, the Republican Party are Terrorist Organizations as defined under US Law.
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God @thegodshow.com · 09/09/2026
Trey Parker & Matt Stone announce that ‘SOUTH PARK’ will be renamed to ‘SOUTH AMERICA’. “Inspired by the bravery & patriotism of Apple & Google, we are changing the name of South Park to SOUTH AMERICA. We especially want to thank our parent company Paramount — a Skydance Capitulation.”
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American Bridge 21st Century @ab21.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
While first responders and families were scrambling on 9/11, Donald Trump was on TV bragging that his building was the tallest in Manhattan. "They built the World Trade Center, it became known as the second tallest, and now it's the tallest."
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Mrs. Betty Bowers @mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Oh, honey . . . You place your children in the custody of priests, pastors, and youth pastors, a demographic proven most likely to molest children. You are *not* protecting and nurturing your children—you're endangering them. And shamelessly lying about Islam and feminism isn't going to change that.
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ProPublica @propublica.org · 05/09/2026
A decade ago, Florida stripped a teacher of her license for sexually abusing a 16-year-old. Last year, she opened a private school there with ease. As private schools fueled by taxpayer dollars proliferate, states are choosing not to closely regulate who runs them or what they teach:
propublica.org
Barns, Go-Karts and Strip Malls: The Wild West of Private Schools That Collect Taxpayer Dollars
As private schools proliferate, states are choosing a hands-off approach to regulating them. The backgrounds of school founders — sometimes with criminal histories — often don’t matter
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
cnbc.com
Dutch central bank moves gold bars out of U.S. and Canada, citing ‘crisis preparedness’
DNB said gold stored with the Bank of England is more readily tradable, allowing it to be deployed more quickly in a severe crisis.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
They're just biding their time while Mitch is chilling in a freezer somewhere. If they're in session too long, people start asking questions again. 😉
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Current running theory on the Federal Reserve's position: They were not-at-all amused that Frump tried to fuck with their deathgrip on the economy. Soooo...they are gonna fuck the rest of us to stick it to the Repubes in the midterms and flip control back to the Dems.
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ProPublica @propublica.org · 03/09/2026
There is little evidence that MAGA influencer Nick Adams’ nonprofit has provided the civics education it claims. A review of the organization's finances show that it has paid Adams and his mother more than half its recent annual revenue. (Published July)
propublica.org
This MAGA Influencer Runs a Charity to Teach Kids Civics. Much of the Money Goes to Him Instead.
Nick Adams’ Foundation for Liberty and American Greatness has brought in millions in donations and helped him land a State Department appointment, but records show there is almost no indication FLAG w...
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
However, now that that door is open, someone should be knocking on Netanyahu's... ...and Putin's... ...and Trump's...
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Crushed @silenttakedown.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
yeah sure whatever, let lara croft cook potato stew on her phone for 2m0s of damage resistance who gives a shit anymore
a screenshot from the upcoming remake of Tomb Raider 1. lara croft is looking at her phone in the middle of an ancient ruin, and it's showing her a generic crafting menu, and a png of saucepan of stew that apparently her phone lets her cook for "Damage resistance" if she has 6 potatoes
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Mrs. Betty Bowers @mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
This is what karma looks like.
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america.is.not.free @antifapatriot.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
🤦🤦‍♀️🥴 #vaccines #healthcare #science #vaccinessavelives #vaccineswork
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God @thegodshow.com · 02/09/2026
JFK: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask where are the Epstein files.”
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
The real secret to Starbucks' froth.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I just imagine that this is the dude from that one American Dad episode; the grotesque incel hiding behind a one-way mirror eating oysters from a garbage bag while sitting on a toilet.
American Dad episode; the grotesque incel hiding behind a one-way mirror eating oysters from a garbage bag while sitting on a toilet.
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Ron Filipkowski @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Look how pissed RFK Jr is that Oz won't let him stand behind daddy. bsky.app/profile/acyn...
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
ARE YOU CONCERNED THAT SHARIA LAW IS COMING TO AMERICA? HERE'S WHAT IT IS: Government based on religious doctrine. Women have fewer rights than men Gays are persecuted. Science is rejected in favor of religous doctrine. No separation between church and state. Religion is taught in school. CURIOUSLY, THESE ARE THE SAME BELIEFS THAT THE REPUBLICAN PARTY SHARES. SO, IF YOU WANT TO ENACT SHARIA LAW IN AMERICA, VOTE REPUBLICAN.

(The preceding was extracted using AI, please pardon any mistakes.)
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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
🎯 confirmed jojofromjerz.substack.com/p/bill-maher...
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
I am an American. I am not afraid. These colors do not run. I will not fear people who don't look like me, vote like me, worship like me, speak like me, think like me, bank like me, or love like me. They are Americans. I will not fear immigrants, dissenters, or troublemakers. My country was built by immigrants, dissenters, and troublemakers. I will not fear the false patriots who spread fear to make me hate. They are weak. They do not speak for me. I will stand. and I will be heard.
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Jon Cooper @joncooper-us.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
On newsstands now.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
A group of people fight with their machines, often wondering who is really in control.
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TheWebMachine @thewebmachine.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
News Flash, folks: Calling DonOld a rapist or pedophile doesn't dissuade his supporters. A not-insignificant percentage of men in this country would rather go back to owning women, in every sense of the word. To be clear, they've always been here; merely newly emboldened by President InEpstein.
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