iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

And it sucks because my partner and I really enjoy Taskmaster every autumn. Well. Luckily there's kiwi TM and Game Changer.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Yeah, I'm gonna be skipping this season of Taskmaster, unless they provide a cut without Matt Lucas and Richard Ayoade. I have zero desire to watch two transphobes being platformed. They are also just not funny in general. It's a shame because all three women are an absolute delight, but I'm out.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I'm currently training to become a coach/counsellor. Maybe I should go into business transformational coaching 🤔 Burn it all down from the inside. Profit. Use newfound riches to provide affordable counselling to marginalised groups. Flawless plan tbh.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Can we just burn it all down already? AI, the entire tech industry, politicians, billionaires, elite universities, mold-brained authors, all of it. Burn it the fuck down to the ground. If you think I'm being radical then you're not radical enough.

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Benjamin @benjaminschneider.ch · 01/10/2026

just came across this incredible picture of Terry Pratchett

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I just started taking metamizole again but I hate taking painkillers for this long 😩 and this is honestly my least favourite pain. I can handle sharp or dull pain but ongoing burning pain has me at my limits.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I'm the only masc-presenting person in my coaching/counselling training. I'm gonna have to unpack that later.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

This is in no way fully cooked and yet I'm already feeling myself like never before. Top surgery was a 15/10 decision. Feels weird not to have to spoiler this anymore when it's the same nips on the same chest, so btw fuck the patriarchy.

White trans man with fresh double incision top surgery scars and nipples. Everything is still a bit swollen but he's beaming as he just sits and looks at the camera. In the background is a progress pride flat hanging on the wall.

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Benjamin Bedbreaker @defn28.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Yikes 🤢

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

LF someone who speaks Portuguese; ideally even someone not totally uninformed about chest surgeries. I spotted this in my post-op report and every app seems to translate it to "nipple-sparing". Now, I did not get nipple-sparing afaik. Is this just the Portuguese way to say ”free nipple grafts"?

Screenshot from Google Translate which translates "mastectomia total poupadora de mamilo" from Portuguese to English as "nipple-sparing total mastectomy"

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I always assumed the T-rex arms were a given but I can actually move quite well so now I have to actively remind myself to T-rex 😆

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Thank youuuuu 😊 only now, after, do I realise how overdue this was. There was so much boob-shaped mental space that's now freed up 😆

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Quick scroll through your pipeline, I see you had top surgery too?

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

"Hard times produce wounded people. And some have the capacity to move through hard times with their wounds in a lot of strength and grace, revealing the injuries they hold to very few. Their reward for that strength and grace is to be tasked with more than their fair share." C4 E35 Oof.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

After about a week of not being allowed near me, I removed the pillow barrier in the morning and finally allowed some careful cuddles. The barrier is going up again overnight because Nomi is a bed hogger but I feel like everyone might be a little calmer now. Also, please look at that flat chest! 😊

1 white transmasc person and two dogs cuddling in bed.the human is propped up against a pillow. One dog is lying by his side, the other is sitting between his legs. Both dogs are getting scritches.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Lower body shower: Achieved! Tomorrow? World domination! Wednesday? Actual real shower!

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Big ups to Julian, the empathetic and efficient customer service agent at the German distributor for Marena post-surgical vests because we were on the phone at 3:45 and he managed to get my order out the door with UPS at 4. If he hadn’t, it wouldn’t have been sent until Monday.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I usually can't will my eyes open in that state so I only heard them. I can fully imagine how that faceless experience must have been very twilight zone

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

That sounds incredibly freaky and I would've lost my shit as well

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Any other trans folk get ticked off when people call you "brave" and "courageous" for "following your path"? It almost rings of inspiration porn to me. And also we wouldn't fucking have to be "brave" if society wasn't making life harder for trans people.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I am hard to keep under and I struggle waking up but I wonder if the latter is just me regaining semi-consciousness early and then I get combative because I don't know what the fuck is going on. And then it takes me ages to clear the rest. Which might be the MCAS. Fuck, this shit is so complex.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Coffee = best nap ever. I've always wondered whether ADHD is also the reason why sedatives freak me out and make me combative and panicked but I know plenty of ADHDers who are fine with them so I reckon it's one of the other acronyms I've collected.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Twilight sedation? Everyone told me, "you'll just take a lil nap, it's great" and then I woke up during the gastroscopy with tube down throat and very surprised nurses holding me down. Do not recommend btw

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👻madeline bOoOoOoOodent👻 @oldenoughtosay.com · 14/09/2026

Yeah so lemme tell y’all about epidurals + EDS

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I've always assumed stealth redhead (my beard came in reddish so not so stealth anymore) and hypervigilance. But I also have MCAS and suspected hEDS. Something is hella wonky for me when it comes to sedatives. I even refused the tramadol and muscle relaxers after, just to be safe.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I'm curious whether anyone else also somehow has a harder time shaking the remnants of anaesthesia? I always come out fighting. Had top surgery last week and the words "agitated and aggressive" were used. It was pretty traumatic on my end but at least I stayed under during. Small mercies and all.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I have a memory of waking up during the procedure and hearing them talk but I was ten so my parents didn't believe me and so ofc I question the memory. Definitely did wake up halfway through a gastroscopy as an adult with nurses holding me down and tube down my throat so that was *fun*.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I understand now why I felt so great the first week after top surgery: the pain meds were suppressing all my chronic pain! It's back now. Which is how I figured it out.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Look, I'm not saying I'm doing super duper great but I have been allowed to take the compression velcro wrap off a day early. Now I'm down to the compression vest and feeling loads better. Eating. Relaxing. Even napping. Tomorrow we get to see how my nipples have fared through all this. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

White transmasc sitting outside wearing a blue button-down shirt and black glasses. He's smirking a bit and looking almost relieved. There's a bit of wound dressing poking out of his open collar.

Table with two big tumbler travel mugs on it, one in seafoam, one in baby blue, an empty plate, and a small blue tote. Between the mugs we see a blue merle dog dissecting a toy in the grass a bit away. And to the right of the right-most mug there's a black dog barely visible between the lattices of a chair, also dissecting a toy.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Finally had a bit of a nap. Not much of it and drifting in an out but definitely was able to sleep. Just not properly because it's too warm. Woke up to more painful incisions but that's to be expected without the additional compression. Ribs are still raw af but perhaps now they can heal.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

The difference? I'm not British nor American. Entitlement can't be hidden it seems. And I guess I just speak whatever the fuck comes out rather than overthinking. Also I think they find my mishmash of languages endearing 😆 turns out Italian + Spanish + a hint of Portuguese sounds Galician enough.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Yup, exactly. Idk how many times I see someone in the "expat" groups complain that no matter how hard they try to speak Spanish, the people are rude to them and just switch to English. Meanwhile, my Spanish is pretty shite and yet I have people praising me for it and gently correcting my mistakes.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I think the core of the issue is that The ones complaining about the video and "immigrants not learning the language" = ”the ones who'd move abroad as "expats" and not even try to learn the local language because they'd just live in their cosy little British enclave bubble

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DAVIEWoOOoO 👻 🎃🕸️ @daviemoo.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

This is the sort of hyperbole that makes me sick of dealing with the right. "we're being replaced!" "why" "the greens who I'd never vote for made a video aimed at people who arent me" "they also did one in English" "Didn't watch it". Right. Well then.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

And the ones who still wouldn't are usually not the ones that call themselves immigrants but "expats" 🤢 who would have the privilege and time to learn. In my own defense, I do my best to speak Spanish and I speak enough adjacent languages to get by just fine for now, at least in Galicia.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I used to think so too but then I moved to a country where I didn't speak the language & all my spoons were going into moving and life and survival and not much was left to learn Spanish, so I understand how it happens. If capitalism was less demanding most immigrants would learn the local language.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Thank you! I can't believe it was almost a whole week ago.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

My surgeon called and told me I can take the velcro band off. I feel a million times better even though my skin is still raw under the binder. Just breathing alone is amazing.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I'm just about ready to rip this fucking velcro band off 😩 I'm so mad at my surgeon for ignoring my hEDS. I don't think the idea is to get your ribs bruised, right? I'm low-key scared I'll lose my nipples because he made the compression too tight. Is that a thing?

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Fuck, I just jerked awake, loudly gasping for air. Why the fuck are you not doing your job, cpap? First of all I usually don't have any issues but it's been a little rougher since surgery. And second of all, that hurt my incisions far more than any sneeze or cough over the last 5 days has.

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

My main issue really is how bruised my ribs are feeling 😩 even being used to chronic pain, it's impossible to tune out

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

No worries. The swelling is slooooowly getting better so I'm really hoping the removal of the velcro band will let things be transported off at last. It doesn't help that I had to stop one of my MCAS meds because it was adding to the swelling. It's the meds that target my dysautonomia 😬

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Kai (he/they) had top surgery 🏳️‍⚧️ @thegrumpyenby.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

And then compression vest for another 4-6 weeks but with showering etc. Right now I feel like it will be a breeze without the band but I'm sure 3 weeks from now I'll be clamouring to get the vest off too lol

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