iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Win my upcoming epic low fantasy book The Cathedral of Portals in a GoodReads giveaway (if you're American and have an account!). The early reviews say "The Cathedral of Portals left me feeling dizzy, deeply touched and trying to put feelings into words"! www.goodreads.com/giveaway/ent...

The Cathedral of Portals - the new book from Ferrett Steinmetz

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

I got my first formal review on my completed book! “The Cathedral of Portals left me feeling dizzy, deeply touched, and trying to put feelings into words of how many thoughts are inside this book that I want to hold onto…. I deeply enjoyed this book and will probably digest it for months to come.”

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

LET US BE CLEAR: Putting money under Free Parking and collecting it is NOT LEGAL ACCORDING TO OFFICIAL MONOPOLY RULES. Every dollar put under Free Parking is senseless and wait what do you mean if enough players agree something should happen it doesn't fucking matter what the rules say?

If Trump runs for a third term unopposed by the GOP, his Democratic opponent AUTOMATICALLY WINS. Every vote cast for him is thrown in the trash because every vote cast for him was cast for an ineligible candidate.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

So I got a bird feeder two weeks ago, and already I'm hunting for products like this:

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

This is Google AI's summary of my upcoming book The Cathedral of Portals. Since I only announced it this week, there are only three sources of data that have anything to say AT ALL about the book. Google AI looked at the books I USED TO WRITE and GUESSED what this one is about. And it's wrong.

The Cathedral of Portals... blends urban fantasy and litRPG-adjacent tropes. It follows characters navigating through a series of magical worlds and intricate gate-networks.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

My new book is called "The Cathedral of Portals" and will be published serially (though you can order the finished book at the end). Details are here: theferrett.substack.com/p/read-my-ne...

The cover of the book "The Cathedral of Portals" by Ferrett Steinmetz, showing an immense cathedral cloaked in darkness with a medieval-looking portal showing a sunny mountain on the other side.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

Not quite the same, but this commit is everlasting

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

There's two Internet problems here, intersecting: 1) Fandom has eroded the idea of a "mid" movie, videogame, whatever - if it doesn't live up to expectations, then it must be a spectacle of a disaster. 2) If something's a disaster, that's a personal insult inflicted on the loyal, wonderful fans

HEADLINE: The Super Mario Galaxy Movie Review - Is this the end of cinema?

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

Ah, yes, an extremely normal thing to do to a known billionaire sex trafficker who you were not close with, sending him pictures of your diabetes medication

I want to start by directly addressing the email thread I've been asked about the most: In June 2015, I sent Epstein an email with the subject line "Got a fresh shipment." The email contained a photo of bottles of Metformin, a medication I had just received from the pharmacy for my use. The subject line referred to the picture of the bottles of medication.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 13/12/2025

Me, being forced to use Microsoft's AI to figure out how to remove the Microsoft AI icon from Word:

I want you fucking gone. I never want to see your stupid fucking icon in the lower left hand corner of this app ever again. I hope you fucking die, now show me how to kill you.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 23/09/2025

Even if Donald doesn't cheat, the Democrats could still easily lose:

Republican Party % viewed as "unfavorable": 54.0%

Democratic Party % viewed as "unfavorable" 60.7%

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 17/09/2025

So proud to live in the fine state of Ohio

"The Ashtabula Municipal Government is alerting the public to an unauthorized street vendor operating on bridge street, selling prosthetic limbs"

A guy on a street under a small pop-up white tent with a large hand-lettered sign reading "PROSTHETIC LIMBS"

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 10/09/2025

Yet when there's a ten-part miniseries showing us how Surf Dracula painstakingly learns to do a perfect tube ride, they claim it's too boring.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

Today marks the start of Bisexuality Visibility Month, so don't forget to buy your favorite bisexual the standard gift!

Class 2 Solid Front/Mesh Back Hi-Visibility Contrast Safety Vest

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 21/08/2025

"I'm sorry I did not realize that showing up at a meeting with an active COVID diagnosis and no mask was Not Cool, man. But who knows, maybe it wasn't against the law!" file770.com/covid-concer...

I’m not sure this was a CoC violation. However, there is a separate Health Policy (https://seattlein2025.org/about/health/) that I had not read in advance. The Health Policy says that, even if you do not feel sick, as I did not, if you have tested positive for Covid, “please do not attend the Seattle Worldcon 2025”. But I don’t think it matters whether this policy was in the CoC or Health Policy. It is my fault
for not reading the Health Policy in advance or otherwise realizing the error in what I did.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 20/08/2025

If you'd told Internet-active me in early 2010 that this would be an official White House response to a reporter's inquiry come 2025, I would have Harlem Shook myself into oblivion

A crude meme-drawing of a dude with a bicycle growing out of his head and a caption that says "dOeS ThE MeME mAkE sEnSe???????"

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 25/07/2025

We can DISCOVER a lot about how Universal Basic Income would make people's lives better. But considering how many times we've done these trial tests before, to pretty much the same positive results, we apparently can LEARN nothing.

Headline: What can we learn from Germany's Universal Basic Income Experiment?

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 23/07/2025

This automated message that GitLab gives me is oddly freeing

An automated message saying "Approval is optional"

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 15/07/2025

This certainly seems to be a reasonable amount of people waiting in line for a Paul McCartney concert in Columbus:

You are now in the queue: 193,621 people ahead of you

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

hey babe the new season of Omelas just dropped

A Xitter post:

Releasing the names of individuals compromised by Epstein would utterly destroy America in concrete ways that most families who are not wealth would not be able to endure. To ask for the names is for America to become a failed state... The average American is willing to make this sacrifice. (So am I.) The Trump administration has decided that it is not worth it. We are in a situation where America's very survival rests on the foundation of absolute secrecy about crimes involving the horrific abuse of children. I'm sorry.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 13/06/2025

This is hysterically funny once you get the context.

Derf Backderf, author of MY FRIEND DAHMER, replying to a "Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction" Skeet with "I always win this game."

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 12/06/2025

Well, this is one of the more ominous things I've seen:

Downdetector.com showing simultaneous internet outages for Google Cloud, AWS, Google, Discord, Spotify, Snapchat, and Cloudflare

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 03/04/2025

Considering how much the Republicans loathe diversity, they sure are encouraging a lot of it:

Status of US Dollar as Global Reserve Currency: Central Banks Diversify Into Other Currencies and Gold

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 01/04/2025

Congrats, ya Men's Rights Advocate morons, you just ensured that when the draft gets reinstated you'll be the only ones chucked into the front lines:

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has mandated that physical fitness tests for military combat roles be “sex-neutral,” bringing to an end lower standards for some female troops.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Wanna know why small businesses everywhere will implode without the USPS? This is a commonly ordered product from a place I do business with. Cheapest USPS option: $5.14. Cheapest USPS option: $8.84. Ask your customers to pay a mandatory extra $3.70 in shipping fees, and watch your sales drop.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

I've been up and down on Senator Fetterman, personally, but I think we can all agree that in this photo he looks like Captain Picard in an episode where the transporter turned him into a caveman

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 27/01/2025

I don't always agree with the Pope, but hoo boy, when I agree with him I AGREE with him:

Headline: Pope Says Too Much Online Scrolling Causes 'Brain Rot'

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 27/01/2025

John Totleben may have been my favorite comics artist ever, and I'm still sad his eye disease has stopped us from seeing more of his magnificent art. His astounding linework just gets better the closer you look.

Swamp Thing #53, showcasing Batman vs a monstrously huge Swamp Thing.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

A crossover I would buy in a hot SECOND

The classic Todd McFarlane cover of Wolverine vs. Hulk, but with Bobby Hill's "THAT'S MY PURSE!" rage reflected in Wolverine's claws instead

(If you don't get it, alas, it's a King of the Hill reference)

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 09/01/2025

The wording on Floral Spuzzem implies that the card itself gets to choose, leading to many players imploring Floral Spuzzem to give them a sign of its holy will

If Floral Spuzzem attacks an opponent and is not blocked, then Floral Spuzzem may choose to destroy a target artifact under that opponent's control and deal no damage.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

Fun fact! The final kiss in the Superman trailer takes place in the Cleveland Arcade, a gorgeous piece of Victorian architecture with 1800 panes of glass. You can rent a room there! And it looks EXACTLY like that at the right time of day, no CGI required. www.theclevelandarcade.com

Superman kissing Lois Lane in mid-air in the Cleveland Arcade in a truly stunning shot.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

So I bought a gun and I have a lot of feelings about it - not the gun itself, but the self-defense culture surrounding it. theferrett.substack.com/p/buying-a-g...

A blinged-up pistol painted purple drips with donut sprinkles

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

Sitka would like to let you know that it is cold out and he would prefer not to walk, thank you

A very baleful doge, curled up in comfort on the couch

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

It's super fun discussing propaganda and disinformation campaigns in real time with people, you sound CRAZY paranoid.

Rorschach from the Watchmen saying "That's what they're saying about me now? That I'm paranoid?"

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 02/12/2024

I feel like this should be my default signoff to every email

An email signoff that reads "Apologies for the lateness, but in my defense I am an idiot, Ferrett Steinmetz"

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

Nancy, I say this with all love: STOP FUCKING HELPING

Headline: Pelosi Quietly Orchestrating Another Dem Leadership Shake-Up

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

Experts: "Summoned demon should obey misdrawn sigils that have no power to bind his ever-ravenous hunger"

If confirmed as deputy attorney general, Todd Blanche should recuse himself from matters related to Donald Trump, experts say

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Self-promotion time: My new novel The Hippogriff Riders of Oklahoma is out! It's the third book in the Dragon Kings of Oklahoma series. If you're looking for two good ol' boys to investigate a house of horrors, welp, here's your chance for only $2.99. Good, quick, fun. amzn.to/414LNrB

A redneck crouches over a cage with a dragon in it. The book is "The Hippogriff Riders of Oklahoma."

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 04/10/2024

Every once in a while people casually throw around phrases like "Oh, yeah, the Zootopia Abortion Comic!" as if it's a thing from their childhood that everybody knows about and then I Google it and I'm like THIS REALLY SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE HEARD ABOUT BEFORE, YA KNOW

"Yes, I do know," says Nick. "It seems like you could even KILL YOUR BABY for your career."

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 19/09/2024

Twenty-five years ago, I woke up with my fiancé with love in my heart and electricity in my nerves. I'd never been married before; this was a crazy risk; could a relationship started in a Star Wars chat room work? It took hard work. But it did. And twenty-five years later? Still in love.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 19/09/2024

Nice of you to say about me, BlueSky, but I'm not actually THAT popular.

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 17/09/2024

Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #829,657! (Not even that impressive, but hey, I was an early refugee from Xitter!)

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Ferrett Steinmetz @theferrett.bsky.social · 29/08/2024

Polyamory issues: I can't determine if my girlfriend's dog or my dog is cuter And I have intense loyalties on both sides EPIC WOOF BATTLES OF HISTORY

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