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My Name Jeff

@the-rapist.bsky.social
261 followers 20 following 340 posts

This profile is, was, will be or/and isn't a quantum hacking experiment.

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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
People don't actually care whether or not God is real. They only want to be told what to do. And Hell is the place where you only hear about what other people should do.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Yesterday, I learned that spiders can and do play dead. It's also known as thanatosis or tonic immobility. Apparently, it's more common amongst the stalking variety, as they are the kind who prefer to feed on live prey. After witnessing its resurrection, I shepherded it somewhere safe.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Dad jokes are only funny to dads because the joke is... Only a man who pretends not to understand what the world is telling him can become a dad.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
When a woman thinks to herself, "I can fix him," what she's really saying is, "I can sterilize this mofo and no one will give a shit."
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Was a funeral home the original home office?
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Your comment is ironic because in the animal kingdom, it is queens who produce drones and in the human kingdom, kings have to deal with them.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Tsk tsk. Giving therapists a bad name.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Is she looking for more proposals? ...women are never happy.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Is it the moral responsibility of every straight man who would be wed to fight against the life his future father-in-law has constructed?
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Does using prescription drugs to deal with the pains of life constitute a "drug-dealer" or a "drug-coper"?
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
If I were lacking the confidence to handle my own child's first moments of life, I'd like to believe that I could find a professional we could trust to supervise and support us, wherever we might be.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
In retrospect... When a baby is born, someone receives them. To this "someone", that baby could be a son or a daughter or a brother or a sister. To others, that baby could also represent a burden or a responsibility or a paycheck. A lot of emotion is transmitted with touch - especially the first.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
One arm or two?
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
"We'll be the judge of that."
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
"The leads are weak."
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Meanwhile... I have to pay cash money if I expect someone to escort me...
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Oh, and it was kind of odd seeing so many women crewing, solo, and in formation. I'd prefer to see more SUPers in the future, but perhaps there's a benefit for these women to practice rhythmically pulling something towards them? 🤔
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
And a musical note: The live musical artist decided to play Inside Out by Eve6 as I descended to the river, sans ear buds, was a "nice touch" (read: creepy AF), considering that is song is currently holding the #1 spot in my On Repeat playlist on Spotify...
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
But compared with what I observed 20 years ago on a different kind of screen, even 9/11/01 is a distant kind of painful memory. Question for the Internet: If someone called 911 *for me* and I'm still alive, does that make me a 911 survivor?
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Running narrative: While contemplating that the worst I observed today was two dead fish and a literal handful of trash, and reflecting on how that compared with what I observed 25 years ago on the television, I noticed a woman walk by me and rub an imagined tear from below her sunglass-shaded eye.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Now Playing: Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men Mood: 🥲 My observations from today: * 7 pieces of petroleum-based trash fished from out of the Potomac. * 2 dead fish were observed — one large catfish and 1 medium-sized carp. Both were freshly killed (pun intended?) * The birds seemed happy.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Pedophobia is the new pedophilia. Oi.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Coyote vs Acme was cute. Lana Condor was cuter.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
I have a question for the Internet... Is Lindsay Clancy better, worse or the same as a pedophile, morally speaking?
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Tim Curry spent a lifetime showing us that darkness could be frightening, hilarious, seductive, absurd—and sometimes strangely beautiful. He never merely played the strange thing in the room. He made you unable to look anywhere else. Thank you for the darkness, Tim. It made the light brighter.
static.klipy.com
Tim Curry as Legend's Lord of Darkness
ALT: Tim Curry as Legend's Lord of Darkness
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Whenever we watch a movie or listen to a song, why does it feel like 'God' is speaking? Because any work of art comes from a collective (particularly the published or galleried kind), and the collective says what we all think but wouldn't otherwise say ourselves.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
And how about that opening montage? Definitely an inspired soundtrack selection. 🐺 🕷
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I saw Spiderman: Brand New Day, and I must say that the adversarial tactics of Jean Grey, played by Sadie Sink, was depicted in an outstanding way. The way her sister Sarah initially demonstrates the power to Jean had me thinking of a few 'dark empaths' I've encountered on the web, myself...
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Nero practiced his fiddling while Rome burned. Me? I'm practicing my water-walking chicane turns while SUPing under the Key Bridge that connects Virginia with Washington D.C. It is, admittedly, a less modest description but a no less wiser way to move, I'd argue.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Recently, I've been thinking a lot about Luigi and insurance companies. Admittedly, I have a bit of an odd perspective on things, but I think I finally understand why insurance companies exist. Because as difficult as it is, asking an insurance company for help is easier than asking one's family.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Big branding opportunity for season 2 of Dexter: Resurrection! The twist? Airtags sewn into every cadaver bag.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Women with low self-esteem are easy to have sex with but are challenging to love. Why? Because there are only so many different ways a guy can answer, "Why do you love me?" with his body.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
You know why people told You I was dangerous? Because I was, to them. How? Because my words reveal.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Am I envious of the men who probe the delicate bits of women after another man has ruined her sex, seeking to turn her pain into his profit? 😈 Or am I wrathful at whatever conspiring had to occur for this to be the basis of the healthcare regimen for an entire country? 👿 Clap 'em if you got 'em. 🙄
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
The response from mom to dad, "Well if someone doesn't teach her to open up, then how will she ever make money?" Happy Monday, ladies of BlueSky. 🌈
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
How are obstetricians and gynecologists NOT considered a racquet of professional gang-groomers? "Yes dear, now lie back, spread your legs and open yourself to my body and to my mind." *and don't forget to pay us for our judgments of you when we're done!
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Forget palm readings... Did you hear about sole readings? I'm the sole individual offering sole therapy right now — come, try some — it’s good for each and every sole.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
How would the movie Obsession have been different if the protagonist was a woman and the object of her wish were a man, and if it were still filmed as a horror movie?
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Petting women is whatever, but petting with a woman is a BIG responsibility.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
"You've got hearts kid, but we've decided to go in another direction."
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Something about today and a KIA... 🤔 🍕 💜
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
🕯 😶
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
You must work for an insurance company with mandatory DEI training, eh Kelly?
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Youth projects itself into the future. Age projects itself into the past. Wisdom projects mortality into the present.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
If all we do when we communicate is project ourselves into the world, then the wisdom of the ages is about aging itself. That is, a wise person describing reality is describing their own death, slowly, and wisdom is the accumulated description of the process by which the self disappears.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
The algorithm determines reality on the Internet.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
I like stretch denim.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
I'm still thinking about you.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Because they have jobs, probably.
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My Name Jeff @the-rapist.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
If you're not inserting unescaped control characters into your error messages, are you even coding bro?
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