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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman

@tartattack.bsky.social
668 followers 717 following 3.8K posts

he/him | posting laffs and japes without thinking too much about it pfp: Aert Schouman black cockatoo | banner: Walter Crane illustration of Beauty and the Beast

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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 20h
old school sci-fi rockets never stop being beautiful
Black-and-white screen cap of a smooth, retro science fiction rocket ship, standing upright on a rocky planet surface.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 20h
watching. this might be the most purestrain '50s vibes I've ever encountered
Poster for "It! The Terror from Beyond Space" (1958). Illustration of a piggish space alien clawing at a damsel in distress while astronauts point pistols.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
watching. starring... Steve Barkett! directed by... Steve Barkett! written by... Steve Barkett! edited by... Steve Barkett! produced by... would you believe it, Steve Barkett! who is Steve Barkett, you ask? well if you go by appearances, a high school woodshop teacher
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
time to finally catch up with that zeitgeist and watch this mothafucka
Film poster for "Obsession" (2026). Headshot of a long-haired figure, silhouetted to near-black against a red background. But the whites of their eyes and a reflection in their pupil shine out from the dark, creepily.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
watching. I'm already arguing with the creative decisions on this one from the poster. sir that's an alien, not a demon. you can tell by the big braincase. I don't make up these made-up rules
Film poster for "Pumpkinhead" (1988). Illustration of a freaky humanoid monster with long arms and claws, blank eyes, big wrinkly head and a toothy expression, posing in front of a full moon.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
watchin'. Robert Mitchum has one hell of a face
Film poster for "Cape Fear" (1962). Illustration of two heavily shadowed men's faces, one brandishing a gun. A woman and girl are running against an ominous red background.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
watching. I liked the first one a lot, enjoyed the "Knives Out + crossbows" situation. but saw no reasonable path to a sequel from the premise, so, kept my expectations for number 2... low. and so far, boy is this movie meeting me there
Film poster for "Ready or not 2: Here I Come" (2026). A collage of actors posing with weapons against a reddish background with candles.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Julie Adams also looks incredibly good, but contriving movies around actresses who are hot as hell was well-understood technology by 1954
Promo shot of Julie Adams lying posed in a white one piece swimsuit with an anxious expression, in front of a fishman.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
watchin' the kind of joint that gets Guillermo del Toro mad horny
Film poster for "Creature from the Black Lagoon" (1954). A creepy green fishman has snared a screaming woman in his arms.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
it's good Halloween luck to drink a double shot of horror on the first. no way in the hell the 1960 version is gonna rate against the 1986 but I'm curious to see the cheapo Roger Corman take instead of the deluxe puppetry
Film poster for "The Little Shop of Horrors" (1960). Illustration of a dapper gent smiling at a potted flower in his hand, while a beaked flower grows to menace him from behind.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
watchin' my opener for the spooky season
Film poster for "Heretic" (2024). A bookish Hugh Grant with steepled hands, with a maze pattern behind him.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
ISEKAIED DUKE NUKEM: Damn, this social structure sucks ass... too bad I'm inventing gunpowder 700 years early
Duke Nukem meme image. Smirking sunglasses-wearing action hero with Guile from Street Fighter's haircut and a gun.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
this the kinda article that has me thinking, you know there might have been something romantic between them
"They both harbor deep respect toward each other despite having vastly different worldviews in regard to the coexistence between Mutants and humans. They often teamed up and were, at one point, the best of friends. This unusual relationship often led fans to wonder whether Magneto was really gay and whether he and Charles were actually lovers.

    Article Breakdown:
    Magneto was never gay; he was always straight, and his love interests were primarily women.
    Magneto and Charles Xavier were always good friends only, and there was never anything romantic between them."
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
A photo of a marmot loafing around, taken by Laura Green. The photo caption: "The research team shares photos and videos of marmots on OnlyFans to educate viewers about their behaviors."
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
lotta fake fans around here showing they don't respect John Carpenter's feelings about remakes
Excerpt from a Guardian interview with John Carpenter: https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/oct/10/john-carpenter-interview-anthology-film-scores

INTERVIEWER: Robert Rodriguez is set to remake Escape From New York and there’s another Halloween project coming in 2018. How do you feel about people remaking your films?

CARPENTER: I love it, if they are going to pay me money. If they pay me, it’s wonderful. If they don’t pay me, I don’t care. I think it’s unfair if they don’t pay me. I think everyone should pay me. Why not? I’m an old guy now and I need money. Send me money.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity music video shot
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
finding out this is the name of a real legal firm, and not a hastily conceived team of "Powerless Rangers" created by Rita Repulsa to battle do-gooders
Text excerpt showing "the firm Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom"
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
Discord post by Blunderbuss (whose pfp is a little grinning robot with sunglasses and a cigar):

I refuse to judge my art by popular appeal
alt-tab, new post, "J Deez Salinger"
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Ray from Achewood saying "Daaamn! That answer could use some work!" (the dialogue text is mildly distorted by AI upscaling)
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Tim Curry as the butler in Clue, speaking the quoted dialogue.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Zeta Gundam is a show about gender and slapping with giant robots and space politics as distant afterthoughts
Shot from Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam, of a uniformed man slapping another across the face.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
I was liking Zeta Gundam alright but I cannot tell you how much the show improves when this guy crashes in on episode 24 and cranks the dial all the way up on villainous belligerence, treachery, and homoeroticism
Anime shot of Yazan Gable, a severe-looking blonde man with tall hair, wearing a military uniform.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
to understand how patient my friends are, you first gotta understand that the most unusual thing about this message is that the timestamp isn't 1 AM
Discord message from "Blunderbuss" at timestamp 21:14:

fucking pissed at hte kimono manga
if you're going to threaten that the boyfriend is being transferred to Tokyo, why the fuck, why the FUCK would you BEFOREHAND reveal to us that the kimono shop she works at is considering opening a Tokyo branch??
you had to fucking reassure me that she would just move along with him before I experienced one NANOSECOND of melancholy????
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
me and the homies walking out of the A Better Tomorrow screening
A shot from John Woo's film "A Better Tomorrow" (1986). A pack of stylish besuited Chinese men, who are definitely gangsters, strut out from a commercial building looking cool as hell.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
GAMEFREAK NEO: why does my environmental modeling team hurt GAMEFREAK MORPHEUS: you've never used them before
Comparison of landscape screenshots showing Pokemon Scarlet/Violet against a preview of the upcoming Pokemon Wind/Waves. The Scarlet/Violet is somewhat barren and artificial looking, while the newer game looks much more detailed (and prettier).
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 27/01/2026
watched Hard Boiled in theaters tonight. friends I have resisted this stance as long as it was feasible. but I cannot deny the evidence before my eyes. contemporary action filmmakers have no fucking idea what is cool anymore and we need to RETVRN
Shot from "Hard Boiled" (1992). Chow Yun-fat and Tony Leung stick enormous pistols in each other's faces, in front of brightly illuminated smoke.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
Huh, weird, because actually after reading it seems like the MOST helpful frame is that WAS a hard-right project from the start, and that you were a fucking credulous imbecile for believing the free speech narrative was anything but the world's most obvious Trojan Horse
"The second question: Was UATX a hard-right project from the start? Based on my reporting, I don't think it was. I was struck by the sincerity of the commitment to free speech and open inquiry from so many of the people with whom I spoke. A few were Trump supporters, but many more were best identified as anti-woke moderates or liberals. The university's saga has a strong sense of historical contingency - that it could have gone quite differently had some high-leverage moments gone otherwise. A notable example is the episode surrounding Dan's alleged violation and expulsion, which several former staffers and faculty suggested was exploited by the Straussians as evidence of dysfunction in their successful second coup attempt.

"A more helpful frame for making sense of this story is the one described by Michael Strambler in the article Avishai reposted prior to her firing: the near irresistible temptation humans feel to become convinced of the correctness of their positoins. But certainty is incompatible with democracy and the academy, explains Ilana Redstone, a professor of sociology at the Universoty of Illinois Urbana-Campaign; she is also a co-founder of the Mill Institute and was briefly associated with UATX."
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
holy fuck man I forgot that muffs the clothing item are real. I should get one. but I shouldn't because I would never stop messing around with it like a big warm fidget toy
Illustration of a muff, the handwarming fabric sleeve, from five angles.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
like, all of them
Screenshot of a Reddit thread from r/TrueFilm titled "Movies for lonely people?"
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
we've gone too far
A can of cannabis-infused Pabst Blue Ribbon lemon seltzer
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 17/12/2025
I don't know how well regarded Aura Battler Dunbine is in the Tomino canon, but I do know that every time someone in a tunic pulls out a Glock I lose my mind
Shot from the 1983 anime "Aura Battler Dunbine". A man in a pink tunic sits on the ground in front of a stone wall, wiping his brow and pulling a modern pistol out of his pants.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 10/12/2025
Panel from the webcomic Kill Six Billion Demons. The character Maya, a bald woman in a monklike robe, looks flummoxed and upset. Probably because she frequently in the comic asks other characters "What do you think about death?"
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 10/12/2025
from the Discord files
A Discord chatlog.
Anonymous: "Entirely unrelated question: what meaning does the watermelon emoji hold for you"
Blunderbuss: "pro-Palestine"
Anaonymous: "Just that? Or anything else?"
Blunderbuss: "well, watermelon. now I feel like I'm missing the lore on some hot new sexual act"
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 09/12/2025
anime... is good
Shot from the 1994 anime OVA "Armored Trooper VOTOMS: Brilliantly Shining Heresy". A man in fancy priestly robes brandishes a pistol, saying "Embrace death in the name of the Pope."
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 08/12/2025
more from Panzer World Galient: it rules when a show doesn't want to show any blood, so instead they show a character death via writhing disintegration in a field of unearthly light. way less traumatizing for the kids watching
Shot from the 1984 anime "Panzer World Galient". A man in a cape reaches out in pain and is turned into a sketchy red silhouette amidst green light.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
the villain of Panzer World Galient hangs out naked in an enormous bong to "expand his perception" and honestly, goals
Shot from the 1984 anime Panzer World Galient. In a futuristic chamber, a naked man is suspended in liquid within a curvy glass container that resembles a bong.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
A bald man narrowing his eyes in frustrated disgust, i.e. the image from the meme Onion news article headlined "Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made a Great Point"
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 22/11/2025
Resuming my VOTOMS anime journey with the Armor Hunter Mellowlink OVA and it seems amazingly pure: every episode is about this dude hunting down an evil guy and killing him. That's the show. He dramatically swipes lines of blood across his face every ep too. All action, no distraction
Screencap from the 1988 anime "Armor Hunter Mellowlink". A man wearing goggles and a green cloak holds a bullet in his mouth while he loads an enormous rifle. A silver mecha looms behind.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
Liam Neeson slop becoming so listless that Netflix promo is just him poking the ground with a stick and being unhappy about it
Netflix banner for "The Marksman" (2021). Liam Neeson in outdoor wear with a walking stick standing next to a kid, with a forest lazily photoshopped in behind.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
watching this now as a palate cleanser to end my spooky October strong. have a great Halloween night y'all!
Movie poster for "Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead" (1994). A tall man in a black suit stands in front of a graveyard, while a huge menacing spiked sphere fills the background.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
watched. sucked. suggesting a concept is not enough, you need to actually show us the interesting part
Movie poster for "Resolution" (2013). Film strip depicting two men standing in front of a burning cabin, with a skull shape visible in the flames.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
watching. holy fuck the depictions of mass shootings are vivid, I am surprised this movie is not talked about more in our insane age
Movie poster for "Gold Told Me To" (1976). Collaged illustrations of a man holding a rifle over a city skyline, a cop and other human figures, eerie eyes hanging over everything.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
watching. always room for more Vincent Price in my Octobers
Movie poster for "The Mad Magician" (1954). A maniacal costumed stage magician holds a blonde woman down on a table while a large buzzsaw approaches. A short-skirted brunette stands alongside.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
watching. I can already tell they should have just made the rad Persian wizard horror movie they open with instead of the modern day thing we're going to transition to
Movie poster for "Wishmaster" (1997). A human face scowls and bares fangs out of the darkness, while a red gemstone glows beneath. Tagline: "Be careful what you wish for."
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
watched. for a legendary flop and production disaster, this is a very enjoyable flick. and how for much of an asshole he was reported to be on set, Val Kilmer is very funny almost every moment he's on screen
Movie poster for "The Island of Dr. Moreau" (1996). Ragged silhouettes reach up towards a robed figure, while giant heads of Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer hover in the background.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
watching. cinematography already kicks ass
Movie poster for "Seconds" (1966). Black-and-white photo of a man in a suit with a full medical face covering and his hair sticking up above it.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
watching, man the way people are dressed in the boardwalk opening is a magical time capsule
Movie poster for "The Lost Boys" (1987). An ensemble of young punks in leather with some very '80s hair, in black, white, and red.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
watched. didn't really go anywhere cool, but streamers are funny targets to poke fun at
Movie poster for "Deadstream" (2022). A clawed hand clutches a GoPro camera.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 24/10/2025
watching. already enjoying the unique decision to deliver exposition through gospel song lyrics
Movie poster for "Ganja & Hess" (1973). Against a psychedelic colored backdrop, silhouettes of a man and woman in profile staring at each other. The man holds a bloody tool that might be a bone or a pipe.
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Tart Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman @tartattack.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
watched. what the fuck was that (derogatory)
Movie poster for "Suspiria" (2018). The title is surrounded by bloody smears on white, with collage-like images of eyes visible in the blood.
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