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Tallulah Bunkbed

@tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social
2.1K followers 2.8K following 3.1K posts

Basically, a cat toy. I'm the Artemisia Gentileschi of swearing. No crypto or MAGA. Peddle that shit somewhere else. Divorce your MAGA husband. He secretly hates you.

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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 4h
If you're going to do a lot of holiday shopping, Bluesky is full of artists artistically making art and you can get started shopping today. Pass it on.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 19h
AmEx declined my grocery store purchase like that isn't my natural habitat.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 20h
Today's art project: peppery pear salsa
A row of 4 ounce Ball jars filled with pear salsa cool on a kitchen towel.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 21h
Art supplies
Peppers of various sizes and shapes rest on a rack covering a rimmed baking sheet. The peppers are deep green, light green, yellow, orange and purple.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Today's art project: learned how to make a pear upside down cake. It was much easier to do than I expected
A cake with pear slices precisely laid against each other around the edge. The center is a little messier, and could have been more carefully constructed.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Is hibernating out of the question?
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Today's art project: cranberry-apple butter
Rows of 4 ounce jars filled with reddish stuff.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Is there some sort of TV chef rule where they're not allowed to use a large enough bowl for the volume of ingredients bc they all fuck this up
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Today's art project: pickled cherries
Eight ounce jars of pickled cherries rest on a towel. It looks like their Indie band just dropped a decent track.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Unusual to see one outside its natural habitat
A toilet sits on a section of front lawn near the street.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
My cat just ran toward the kitchen like she had a pressing engagement
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Me: ...the Hell? Him: Oh, so now you have questions? Me: It's a figure of speech, like 'Go fuck yourself.' I mean, how would you do that
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
My middle name is "Some Assembly Required." My parents were so literal
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Waking up tired from a nap is some sort of dark magic acting on you. Like what could you have done to deserve that
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Today's art project: multicolor sweet peppers in red wine vinegar. I like when they remind me of Jupiter.
Several 8 ounce jars of multcolor sweet peppers layered in red wine vinegar resting on a cloth napkin.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Me talking to a ghost: Can I haunt whoever I want? I've got a LIST of assholes I wanna go Ghost of Christmas Future on
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Them: Remember that XFiles where - Me: Unless it involved something I'm trying to forget, no. I do not remember that
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Had a dream about art the other morning where I wasn't stressed out or in trouble or searching for something. What's wrong with me?
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The main character in my tiny town for 36 hours was a missing pug. Dozens of anguished neighbors walked around with dog biscuits in their pockets, hoping to find a friend
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
It's cool enough that I had to put on shoes and socks. My feet are SO MAD
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Reposted by Tallulah Bunkbed
TW @twesq.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
this is fantastic and I learned something new
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I'm here to build antibodies and fold clean laundry and I'm all out of clean laundry
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Lulu is pleased to inform you that most of Monday is behind us
A tuxedo cat with long whiskers lies in a sunbeam on a crisscrossing wooden floor. She stares at you intently. Please be more entertaining.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Hey you: people have lost their marbles. Go get all the vaccines you can. Maybe bring your own cool bandaids
An old lady's upper arm sports a bandaid where she recently got a COVID shot.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
These ghouls turn up over and over for decades in different parts of town but say the same WOOWOO shit, and we need to shut their shit down.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I gave up on a Problematic Sandwich.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Volunteer tomatillos sprang up around my house and they are not at all gossiping about my ability as a gardener
In a colander, squeaky clean tomatillos of all sizes and different colors plan their lives together as tasty salsa.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Yesterday's art project: quarts of roasted tomatoes bearing a strong resemblance to today's art project, which was also roasted tomatoes
A bunch of quart jars full of roasted tomato sit on a towel in a very green kitchen. They are perhaps lurking.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
And just like that I had hope again
gizmodo.com
FBI Warns ICE Agents Not to Trust Any Woman Willing to Date Them
ICE officers on dating apps should be wary of tradwives, an FBI memo suggested, as well as any woman whose profile would "appeal" to them.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Him: You're the artist-lady. I have enjoyed many of your shows. Me: You're thinking of a different artist-lady, but we both like cheese.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Took five days, seven emails and three screenshots to convince my professor she was not uploading files where students could see them. And that I'm not stalking her
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
This morning words shot out of my mouth before I heard them in my brain and all day I wondered how to convince people I have an evil twin with an even shittier attitude
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
What's a bulldozed national monument between friends, I ask you
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Look at that face!
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
@thegeorg.bsky.social Grazie mille, i miei amici.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Mediating between the progressive Quaker family friend and your reactionary aunt discussing their churches in the local wine bar after the enormous family funeral proves shouting over 70s hits can raise your heart rate without improving your health in any way. Try the Caprese sandwiches
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Grandson: Grandma, can I have the Wi-Fi password? Me: Sweetie, are you good at crime?
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
These various racist white guys named Mike running for office all over the place might be the same guy, if we're lucky
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
My grandchildren are coming for a humongous family funeral and the thought of Cousins They Will Take One Look At And Never Speak To Again Bingo card is making me snort-laugh
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
How is it lonely people want few, faker, non-human friends?
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
If we duct-tape more bigots to sitty-thingies, chances are theme parks could be funnier
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Yesterday's art project: spicy peach salsa
Pint jars of peach salsa looking a lot like the surface of Jupiter.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Evergreen skeet
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Had I half the fortune these fucking oligarchs do I'd fund public pools where swimming lessons were free, repave roads and lay sidewalks with cut curbs people in wheelchairs could traverse, and fully fund veterinary colleges. You! You! You get a hedge fund-free veterinarian!
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
If nobody says what this is about it must not be very important, right?
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
...add muted words and tags: Hasan Piker and ADD...
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Today was Take Your Kids To the Grocery Store, Talk On the Phone & Block Every Aisle Day for local divorced dads
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Lulu is chasing a mouse under my chaise longue, if you want to know why I'm DESPERATE TO KNOW WHY BOB AND CHRISTIAN AREN'T AT THE VUELTA.
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Tallulah Bunkbed @tallulahbunkbed.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Today's art projects: (left to right) peach pie filling, cucumber pickles with fennel and diced vanilla peaches
Left to right: pint jars of peach pie filling, cucumber pickles with fennel, and diced vanilla peaches cool on Swedish dish towels.
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Reposted by Tallulah Bunkbed
Shecky @shecky.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Y'all. I know you're tired of my running on about this, and I *want* to give you a break over the weekend, but I CAN'T fail these cats. They need a HOME. They're affectionate, relaxed and in decent health, and their issues are MINOR and EASILY MANAGEABLE. All we need is to find That Person.
Torbie cat standing on bed, looking up.Gray cat with white flash on throat, sitting on bed, looking up.
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