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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 53m

SHOOTERS SHOOT BOYS WE'RE GOIN TO THE CAR WASH CONFERENCE (maybe) I sent him a picture of my car and car wash chemicals just so they knew I was real af.

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Hello this is gonna sound really weird.
I represent a "tech influencer" with around 500,000 cumulative social network followers that is interested in attending your Connect 2026 conference.
However, they are not automotive-related and do not do anything audio/visual or press stuff. Just someone really interested in... car washes and cleaning product chemistry... and would post about how they got to go to a cool tour with some pictures and video of it.
Nothing confidential or presentations or anything.
Is there any potential to get a press pass if I provide more details, or is this a Members Only event? Maybe only the second day?
Again I know this is completely stupid but hey, shooters shoot.

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 1h

OK do you think I should pay $500 to attend the national car wash industry conference

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 1h

How the Aral Sea looked before communism

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 01/10/2026

When it was introduced in 1964, the 15-lane drive-in at Denver U.S. National Bank (today Wells Fargo) was reportedly the world’s largest motor bank. Photo Credit: Wells Fargo Corporate Archives

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 01/10/2026

Crabgrass Frontier! I always wanted to ask your opinion of it.

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 30/09/2026

It's gonna be 2035, everyone will have a 115 inch television, and they're still gonna be complaining 🫤

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 28/09/2026

👉👈 we could kiss under the overpass

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 27/09/2026

Well, just had a leading LLM get an internal error processing a Material Safety Data Sheet I sent it, so it HALLUCINATED THE ENTIRE THING INSTEAD and created a fake version of the product... so it could give answers about the product. Oh lord.

When you provided the API link to the
STEK SDS, my internal browsing tool attempted to access it and hit a server block (URL_FETCH_STATUS_MISC_ERROR ).
Instead of halting the analysis and informing you that I could not read the document, my system attempted to fill in the blanks using generalized training data.

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 27/09/2026

PROJECT CAR: 2012 Honda Accord (probably giving to family) is my chemical decon/paint correction/ceramic coat training platform. It cleans up well (60k miles/60% garaged) but substantial paint damage on some panels will require body shop respray anyway. Proof of concept before I do it on prize car.

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 26/09/2026

Do you think they ever have the self reflection to think this

what am i doing with my life? why do i have a meme account?

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 25/09/2026

iCloud Hide My Email just generated "3_genders" as my fake address Hmm

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 25/09/2026

Stay tuned for the full wash setup including deionized water pre-filter using resin DI media so builders/chelators in surfactant mixes battle contaminants instead of minerals in the tap water, two pressure washers in a siamese circuit with check-valves, and the beautiful princess it's all for. 🥰🥰🥰

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 25/09/2026

VERY important note: This is a partial but still ridiculously exhaustive chemical sterilization and sealant procedure for unique STEK DynoShield PPF scenario, using specialist products as a HOBBY EXERCISE to teach myself what true extreme looks like when engineered, NOT anything anyone needs to do

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 25/09/2026

PPF/Ceramic 3pH decon wash+sealant process order: VDA alkaline touchless caustic-free organics stripper, fallout removal, VDA buffered acidic descaler, neutralizing zero-residue coat unclog shampoo, degreasing panel wipe, STEK TPU-compatible elastomeric ceramic spray sealant, sacrificial hydrophobic

Labocosmetica Purìfica
Turtle Wax Decon Iron Remover
Labocosmetica Primus 2.0
CARPRO Reset
Gyeon Q²M Prep
Ethos Resist
Ethos Defy
RaggTopp Fabric Protectant

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 25/09/2026

Hey so my car wash chemicals are caustic so I bought a stainless steel cart from a bankrupt restaurant Children I really need to emphasize you need to be in a relationship by like 24 max or this is your future this is what you do on Thursday nights

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 24/09/2026

"Oh, my cake is so juicy, but also responsible to snack on"

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 23/09/2026

What is the terminology for this kind of slop

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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 22/09/2026

Me: I'm truly happy Taylor is riding off into the sunset with her narratively-and-poetically-fulfilling football player husband, she has completed her story arc and we thus releive her of the foundational role she played in our lives Me: YES YES FUCK WE ARE SO BACK YES YESSSSSSSSDSSS OM NOMNOMNOM