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SurlyITJesus

@surlyitjesus.bsky.social
476 followers 191 following 5.8K posts

I drink, cook, play TTRPG'S and talk shit. It's what I do...with occasional deep and highly entertaining comments drizzled in. I volunteer at New Leash Rescue. Adopt don't shop. "The best part of livin' is almost dyin'." I'm also a shitlib (apparently).

PostsRepliesMedia
SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 12h
Why does John Baptiste sound like a brotha that was locked up for 60 years and spent that time reading a thesaurus and now just makes up nonsense that sounds deep?
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 12h
Batman:Knightfall was SOOO good! Pacing, animation, fight scenes...just so well done. At the end, when Batman is "fighting" Bane, you can't help but grimace as you watch it...even the sound affects...hearing fear behind Batmans cries is some devious work. I can't wait for part 2!
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Playing Mo Bamba at the end was a definite choice by the Browns.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
No one saw that QB sneak coming
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The Steelers are now seeing why an old immobile QB is a liability.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
When did the browns get a running game!!
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The Browns just committed a roughing the passer penalty on the guy that the new rule was literally made for!
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I feel like we are currently living in the b.y.o.b video right now.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
My BS timeline today: 1.)Trump sucks...for many reasons 2.)Maga truckers and farmers are getting what they deserve. 3.)ICE just did something horrific...again. 4.)Cornell 7 is fucked and they should be in prison. 5. Check out this homemade pizza.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
At some point, I may have to apologize to my son for making him a Vikings fan.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
How TF did the giants let Saquon walk? It makes not GD sense.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Mahomes caused that hit on Hurts.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The Bears not getting a TD is peak Bears
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Yah Troy, the bears DID have a problem in the red zone last week....it was called the Vikings Defense.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The slow-mo of bakers thumb was brutal
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Reposted by SurlyITJesus
The Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026
Recipe Passed Down From Grandma Gussied Up To Be Less Poor theonion.com/recipe-passed-down-fro…
Recipe Passed Down From Grandma Gussied Up To Be Less Poor
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I love waking up to Packer tears.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Green Bay is straight booty cheeks.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Bijan Robinson is about to have a 300 yard night..
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Is diabetes a deterrent to vampires?
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
There is a 100% chance that every president that has had the chance, has jerked off in the oval office.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
One of the best things about the fall and winter time, as a kid, was when the good cartoons came on...The Hobbit, Puff the Magic Dragon and Ricky-Tiki-Tavi.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
When a dev changes the environment by adding new servers, let the network engineering team know...or don't bitch when things don't work, no matter how mad you get or how high up the chain you go. I swear to God, for people under the age of 30, corporate commication classes should be mandatory.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Dear @lakesuperior.bsky.social Since your name implies a Lake Inferior, where is that exactly? I'm betting it's Lake Erie.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Wow ...just....WOW.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
No Greg, it's B-Flo's defense. It's got Chicago shook.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
@nflonfox1.bsky.social Can one of your producers please tell Greg Olson to stop constantly glazing Ben Johnson. Let him know that everytime the Vikings make a play, it's not because Ben Johnson's offense failed to do something.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
@vikings.bsky.social is there ANYWAY you can stop Greg Olson from announcing Vikings games? He's so anti-Minnesota it's actually annoying. Vikings do something well, it's because the other team did something wrong or the OX of the other team made a mistake. Greg Olson sucks. Really bad.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
OMG!! Greg Olson can't even congratulate MN on good defense. He's the fucking worst. Vikings pick, first words out of his mouth are about Ben Johnson.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
JFC...did Fox pay Greg Olson just to glaze Ben Johnson all game?
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Greg Olson hates the Vikings and it shows when he announces for them
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I am so sick of actor monologues before NFL shows. I literally don't give a fuck about Brad Pitt spouting some bullshit. Just fucking stop. Also, Russel Wilson sucks as a broadcaster.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Al Michaels is about to be in the news cycle for that Trump comment.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Quick question: Do escort services include escorting me home from a Dr. visit? I'll be getting my eyes dilated....
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Reposted by SurlyITJesus
𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.lol · 16/09/2026
Don, Eric, Ivanka = D.E.I.
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Reposted by SurlyITJesus
The Mouthy Renegade Writer @mouthyrenegade.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
No shit, 100% agree here.
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Tori Foote @toriatheisttori.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Ugh ...so not only do we have Joe buck, but we have his wife as well? Hopefully she's not as annoying...
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I feel like we are in this never-ending cycle of Republicans f*** everything up, Democrats come in do nothing, get voted out. Republicans come in f*** everything up even more, get voted out, etc etc etc... It's like a vicious cycle of stupidity, ignorance and greed.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
The productivity that happens when I take my Vivance is always tempered by the sheer number of times I have to go poo because of it.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Could JJMC have won that game, instead of Wentz?
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
You know JJ McCarthy has got to be pissed at himself. I know he believes that it should have been him getting the W today.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Wow ...Waller got robbed!!
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I love watching the Bears get walked.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I feel like I'm holding an irrational grudge, but it's hard for me to get over snoop tap dancing for Trump at his request.
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Reposted by SurlyITJesus
Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 13/09/2026
Abdul El-Sayed: "Weijia, with all due respect, this is the third time you've asked about a Twitch streamer ... their whole game is to make us fight culture wars so that we don't pay attention to the fact the president has made $2.2 billion ... "
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Suggesting TaterTot Hot Dish be made in a crock pot made me irrationally angry. Like who does that - besides Jeffery Dahmer?
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Love and Rockets was a REALLY good band. There early stuff was some of their best.
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
The Myles Garrett and Aaron Donald team up doesn't seem to be all that special ...
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SurlyITJesus @surlyitjesus.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
That TD has to be disheartening. 99 yards. Damn.
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