iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 1h

The joys of living in Windsor: when you go to catch the bus and forget they’re doing the full Changing of the Guard today so the road will be closed for another twenty minutes…

Thames Street in Windsor, in front of the castle, with no vehicles on it

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 18h

I heard you calling on the megaphone...

Wrong Hands cartoon by John Atkinson.

Title: Pumpkin Spice Ophelia

1. Ophelia is holding a sprig of rosemary.

"There's rosemary, that's for remembrance."

2. Ophelia is holding a bunch of flowers.

"And there is pansies, that's for thoughts."

3. Ophelia is holding a takeout coffee cup.

"And there's this ginger, nutmeg and cinnamon thingy, that's for everything else."

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 19h

A "scone", apparently. It probably tastes nice, but it looks like someone at Starbucks Japan is trying to blur the line between あんこ (anko, sweet bean paste) and うんこ (unko, which means 'poo').

Screenshot of part of an article from Soranews 24 about Starbucks Japan's range of Halloween-themed food and drink:

Matcha Anko Butter Chocolate Scone Sandwich

[picture of this item - a brown blobby thing that looks a bit like a chocolate rock cake, sliced in half, with a blob of green paste and a thick wedge of butter in the middle]

According to Starbucks, this scone resembles “a ghost sticking out its tongue, and it
contains a well-balanced sweetness, saltiness, and bitterness that pairs well with the
drinks.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I could watch Kemi Badenoch deliver her speech at the Conservative Party conference, or I could do something more fun. You know, like giving myself a lobotomy with a stick blender. Decisions, decisions.

BBC News headline:

Live: Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch about to deliver speech on final day of party's conference

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Sometimes there just isn't a big enough sickbag.

BBC News headline:

Queen pays tribute to 'irrepressible' Jeffrey Archer

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

It's that time of year again. Be careful out there.

Cartoon by Jeff Stahler.

Autumn. Two women walking through a park. They both have takeout coffee cups. One says to the other, "Have you had your pumpkin spice vaccine yet?"

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

J. Bowden Hapgood. (I know, I know. Spoilers.)

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Jeffrey Archer died, his publisher informs us, "between writing sessions". Presumably he read his last paragraph back, it killed him, and then he went back to revise it. Either that, or this is a warning that death is not going to prevent Mr. Archer from publishing several more novels.

Screenshot of the beginning of the Guardian's article about the death of Jeffrey Archer:
--

The author and former politician Jeffrey Archer
has died aged 86.

Archer, who was a Conservative MP for five years
before serving as the party’s deputy chairman,
died “suddenly and peacefully” at his home
“between writing sessions” on Monday, his
publisher Harper Collins said.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

My kitchen this evening. Cottage pie - no leeks, but I had a few tomatoes that needed using:

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

The reward for having peeled a lot of potatoes, which is a job I hate: getting to use this.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Thank God for that, Oscar. Nobody wants to see your nipples.

Duolingo German question:

Translate this sentence

[picture of Oscar, a Duolingo character - a middle-aged male art teacher with a big black moustache and wavy black hair]

"Ich möchte keine durchsichtigen Blusen kaufen."

Answer: I don't want to buy any see-through blouses.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Yes, another glimpse of the magic that can be found in the English-language subtitles for Japanese travel videos on YouTube:

On my TV, a Japanese travel video. A Japanese man sits at a table in a mountain hut. There's a plastic takeout food container in front of him (for curry rice), and he's holding a can of Asahi beer.

Subtitle: "It penetrates into your tired body."

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I thought about doing something a bit more imaginative with the toppings, but then I couldn’t be arsed.

On a plastic chopping board in my kitchen, a homemade pepperoni pizza

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Not going to post a link to the story, obviously - it's the Daily Mail, there isn't enough disinfectant in the world - but yes, this is a genuine headline. And it's very, very special:

Headline from the Daily Mail:

Princess Beatrice's friend
Alice Naylor-Leyland is
attacked by rogue owl
during chaotic photoshoot

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Sometimes insomnia brings me the most magical gifts:

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I saw this, so you have to see it too. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

The opening paragraph of an article from The Atlantic:

ONE WARM SPRING NIGHT in 2011, a young man named Travis Hughes
stood on the back deck of the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity house at Marshall
University, in West Virginia, and was struck by what seemed to him—under
the influence of powerful inebriants, not least among them the clear ether of
youth itself—to be an excellent idea: he would shove a bottle rocket up his ass
and blast it into the sweet night air. And perhaps it was an excellent idea.
What was not an excellent idea, however, was to misjudge the relative
tightness of a 20-year-old sphincter and the propulsive reliability of a 20-cent
bottle rocket. What followed ignition was not the bright report of a successful
blastoff, but the muffled thud of fire in the hole.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

This is unhinged. And very, very, VERY childish.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Let us once again take a moment to appreciate the magic that can be found in the English-language subtitles for Japanese travel videos on YouTube:

On my TV, a travel video by a Japanese Youtuber.

Picture: a rocky wall at the top of Mount Fuji, with clouds behind.

Subtitle: The view is so-so. It's so-so, I think I'll eat a rice ball.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The joys of machine translation: how happy is YOUR custard?

Screenshot of a menu item on a Japanese takeaway food store's website, automatically translated into English.

Picture: a custard-filled pastry.

Text: Thick, happy custard. Hot custard pie. 176 Yen. It looks delicious.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Grandma, we love you, Grandma, we do, Though you may be on a skewer, We'll deep-fry you...

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I go to all the classiest places in town. (I mean, at least it’s opposite the castle…)

A table service marker on a table in my local McDonalds

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

At 7.45am, a gentleman in a very very LOUD green cherry-picker painted the balcony parapet white. (Mine was the last one, he started at the other end of the building at 7am.) At 8.15am, it started raining. Hard. Oh dear.

My balcony. The building is late-1970s red brick, with a concrete parapet along the balcony wall; it's been painted white, but it's raining hard, so the wet white paint is dripping into the drainage gutter on the balcony floor.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Be Italian, You rapscallion, When you hold me, Don’t just hold me, But hold this!

On my kitchen counter, two 400g cans of Cirio Polpa Finissima - finely-pulped tomatoes. On each can there's an Italian flag and a flashmark that says '100% Italian'.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

1987 flashback. Me, somewhere in France, emerging from a coin-operated toilet. (…and that’s my cousin, probably waiting to go in.)

Slightly grainy holiday photo from 1987, probably taken by my dad: in the centre of a town somewhere in France, one of those self-cleaning coin-operated public loos. The door is open and I'm in the doorway - 15-year-old me, wearing jeans and a red sweatshirt. In front of me, but facing away from the camera, my 11-year-old cousin - quite a bit shorter than me, and wearing jeans and a blue top.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

The Rag didn't want to leave Chicago.

On a shelf in Waitrose, a six-pack of Walkers Hot Honey flavour crisps

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

In related news, education has now apparently been banned in Florida.

Headline from News 6/ClickOrlando:

Florida schools now recognize new 'Lake America', education leader says

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Liz Truss has somehow formed the impression that the Bank of England was set up by Tony Blair. Presumably her caregiver has been tied up and gagged and locked in the boot of her car.

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Stephen Farrow @stephenfarrow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

There's a tool on the BBC News website that lets you enter your postcode and see how much hotter the weather where you live was this summer compared to the long-term average. It's worse than I expected. 1/2

Screenshot of a page on the BBC News website - a summary describing average daily temperatures in my postcode during this past summer:
--

Temperature

In your area, the average daily
high during June, July and August
was [43:18 according to
provisional Met Office data.

This is EEAeE110=) the long-term
summer average between 1991
and 2020.

Your area had about 34 days
above 28C, the local temperature
threshold for a heatwave.

What about the year to date?
Click the buttons in the chart
below to see your local
temperatures compared with the
typical maximum, average and
minimum.

Graph on the BBC News website showing the average daily maximum temperature over 2026 so far - a red line - compared to the long-term average, which is shown as a dotted black line. This year's averages are significantly higher.

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