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Squirrel Haggard

@squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
39 followers 103 following 214 posts

Yeah, I don't really know either

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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Folks really love dirt in the midwest
The back of a white Chevrolet Silverado pickup truck driving down the road, the truck has a custom license plate which reads "Dirt Fan". While the photographer is not part of the picture, it is understood that the photographer is incredibly handsome.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Since this is getting a bunch of likes from randos, here's a better pic of this bird that I took at my old apartment. This guy and his flock have been coming to my feeder since last summer.
A house sparrow with mostly white feathers sits on the edge of a brown pot.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The leucistic sparrow and his flock from my old place found my new place!!!!!
A house sparrow with mostly white feathers sits on a black railing.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Success! One of the brown tummy boys found the new spot today!
A fox squirrel standing up on his back legs with his arms folded into his chest, looking toward the incredibly handsome photographer expectantly as he waits for a treat to be tossed out to him.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Stopped by to visit Trina 1 again today, brought her a few walnuts to bury, everyone else was laying low because it's supposed to storm soon, but Trina 1 has kids to feed so she's out hustling
A fox squirrel stands in n a sidewalk next to a walnut, looking curiously at the devastatingly handsome human photographer
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Ran into Trina 1 working on a nest probably
A curious fox squirrel looks toward the camera with a mouthful of freshly forged leaves
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Found Rocky still hanging around the old place
A handsome black squirrel stands upright in a patch of grass
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
HA! Oh geez, not at all! 😳 Just meant from a more general interest standpoint... I'd be a hypocrite to throw such shade with this mess in my chart
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
A friend of mine unfriended everyone, and knowing that the algorithm would suggest that his friends re-friend him, changed his bio to this:
A facebook bio that reads "I am here for Bachelor Nation watch parties and Marketplace. Do not friend me."
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
A photo of Marge Simpson holding a potato with the caption "I just think they're neat!" An image of the popular bird the "Blue-Gray Gnatcatcher" has been hastily edited on top of the potato in order to imply that Marge is now referring to the bird with her comment of "I just think they're neat!"
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
Spotted some Blue Gray Gnatcatchers on my hike today, didn't know we had 'em around here but now I love them. Just look at these brows
A small round bird with a white tummy and blue-gray back, a short black beak, black wing tips and tail, a beady eye staring straight into your soul, and eyebrows that express extreme disappointment in whatever you are saying, doing, or thinking at the moment. The bird is sitting calmly upon a small twig.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
and if any of the 7 people who will see this post happen to have a chance to go see her sing at one of these places on one of these days then I hope that you will do so
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
Everyone is trying to memorize the rap part of TLC's Waterfalls
A screenshot of the music video for popular 1990's hit song "Waterfalls" by TLC from the popular website Youtube. The time bar of the video shows the most replayed part of the video, and there is a noticeable spike in replays of the section of video where the song goes to a bridge that contains a rapped verse. The video is screenshotted at the moment where the caption reads, "I seen a rainbow yesterday" which is famously the first line of the rap part of Waterfalls. It is also implied that the capturer of the screenshot is incredibly handsome and charming.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
Don't invite me to the party unless this is the vibe
An empty parking lot in the dark on a foggy night, with street lights that are glowing in a haunting manner. In the distance a house adorned with Christmas lights is faintly visible, with the colored lights having a fuzzy appearance due to the fog. A crisp white picket fence in front of a modest home with three illuminated windows cuts through the fuzz and fog, while the silhouette of a brittle silver maple looks along the right edge of the photo. It is understood by the viewer that the photographer is devastatingly handsome.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
I saw this perfect autumn leaf the other day
A perfect autumn leaf that is colored yellow along the stem which gives way to increasingly vibrant orange and red throughout the leaf. The leaf is on the ground among a variety of other more basic leaves, twigs, and grass. It is not displayed but understood that the photographer is also extraordinarily handsome.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 27/06/2025
A printed sign that reads in all caps "please do not pee on the top of the toilet. Thank you."
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
Always happy to help people get the information they need
A screenshot from an email sent by google. The email shows a five star review of a restaurant. The text of the review reads "I love all the big wet sandwiches." The contents of the email inform the recipient that "Your review is helping in a big way" and goes on to elaborate that this review has been viewed over 100 times, and that this review is helping lots of people get the information they need. There are also some decorative colors and shapes in the email for whatever reason.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
On my walk I heard a black capped chickadee in a tree above me. As I got closer, he gradually went from "chicka-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee" to "chicka-dee-dee," and after I passed by and got farther away, he lengthened his call again. TFW you just get absolutely roasted by this round lil cutie:
A black-capped chickadee standing on a tree branch.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
Existential delivery updates from UPS today
A screenshot of a delivery notification from popular delivery company UPS. The screenshot shows a message indicating that a package was delivered, and a photograph that would typically show the location that the package was left, however in this instance the photograph shows the edge of a sidewalk and a patch of dirt, and no package is anywhere in sight. Is the package invisible? Does UPS perhaps have a new policy wherein they show photos where the package was NOT delivered and it is up to the recipient to identify the actual delivery location by ruling out all of the not-delivered locations from the picture? Was there ever really a package to begin with, and if not, then why did the truck come all this way so that the driver could take a picture of an empty sidewalk? If there's no package, did anyone even place an order? Does UPS even exist? Does the company that sent the package even exist? Do _I_ even exist? Unfortunately the answers to these questions are not contained within the depicted screenshot.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
Happy "Eating-the-Huge-Apple Day" to all who celebrate.
A huge and glorious apple sits next to a large coffee mug for the sake of giving the viewer a sense of scale. The large and glorious apple is slightly taller and a similar width as the coffee mug. In the background of the picture, the viewer can make out a bag of "Bob's Red Mill" brand flaxseed, and not one but two crock pots. Based solely on the contents of this photograph, it would be entirely reasonable to assume that the poster is some sort of Midwestern Casanova
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 01/02/2025
Looking good up there
The moon in the shape of a crescent, looking pretty sexy
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
When you're sitting in a tree, tired of my shit:
A hawk sits among branches with a brick building in the background with its head turned to the left. The orange eye of the hawk stares through the tree branches toward the photographer
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 29/12/2024
After they ate my bread, most of them lost interest, but this one followed me around for a while and looked disappointed with me.
A single goose, standing on a sidewalk, looking elegant but disappointed with the photographer
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 29/12/2024
Artist's rendering of the situation:
A large quantity (dozens, maybe hundreds) of greylag geese surround a very handsome human man. The handsome human is holding a piece of bread in his right hand. The geese are all looking up at the person's face and the bread in his hand. The geese have a collective look in their eyes that simultaneously conveys feelings of hope, hunger, and a splash of "do not fuck with us." It is obvious that the geese want the bread that the human is holding, they want it so bad, and they will do what it takes to eat that bread. The human is processing the emotions of the geese, and contemplating his next move, as he is completely surrounded by geese with no apparent path to escape.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
Sunset in a random Midwestern parking lot, the sky is painted in a vivid array of oranges, blues, and purples. The silhouettes of streetlights and trees measure the horizon like the marks of a ruler.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
TFW you don't understand my shit but you're still tired of it:
A hawk sits in a tree in front of a brick building, glaring at the photographer as if the photographer is some sort of weirdo
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 11/02/2024
Sup dude you wanna do some ice fishing? Only if you can make ice fishing horny.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 20/01/2024
(Nada Surf voice) I'm a crab rangoon, I'm popular
Screenshot from an an online menu displaying the price of Crab Rangoon with a tag that reads "popular" to indicate that this is a popular menu item. Crab Rangoon sounds pretty good right now, might have to go grab some here in a little bit. Okay well have a good day and enjoy this little joke.
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 20/11/2023
5 of cups. This dude looks sad that his cups are empty, better head out for a beer
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Squirrel Haggard @squirrelhaggard.bsky.social · 02/09/2023
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