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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Happy Michaelmas, to those that celebrate. Tell Marks and Spencer to put the St. Michael back on their sandwiches, none of this secular "M&S Food"

Stained glass window at Anglican church of Saint Michael and Saint Mary Magdalene (westernmost window on the north side of the chancel) by Hardman, 1875; it depicts St Michael defeating the Devil with a big ol' spear.

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

The activities in Fairford appear to be an overconfident, poorly planned, operation to steal large quantities of fuel oil. But enough about the US Military

static.klipy.com

Ben Elton's Politics Bit

Alt: Early 1989s Ben Elton,with long hair, making a joke about a little bit of politics

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

The birth in a stable also suggests his mother may be a kemonomimi

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Hadn't realised Stansted's civil airline use dated back that far.

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

And finally, the jaunty ringtone I'd assigned Infrastructure Control for when I was on call and there was an issue.

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Then there's the "bee-boop, bee-boop, Will the train manager please contact the driver" alarm you'd hear on a train that means your commute home is going to get a whole lot longer

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I can still remember the sound the air conditioning would make as it wound down during a power cut, then silence, signifying that if you hadn't recently saved your work on the PC, it was lost

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

"Unfortunately, due to a miscommunication in the MoD, and a typographical error..."

An enormous floating duck is pulled along dockyard cranes by a small tug.

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I hope it has a crossover with ITV's "Sparrow and Nightingale"

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

"Fabled British Polar explorer missing after attempting difficult traverse of Eversholt Street during his expedition to discover Euston"

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Having experienced both by car, Hemel is more spread out and less daunting

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

The legend in Swindon Council was that it was designed by a cyclist. I once experienced it just before 3pm on a Saturday when Swindon Town were playing at home and it was easy - on a pushbike

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Reposted by Andy, the Maintainer

Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Once I interviewed a guy who brought one piece of chocolate cake, one ice cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake, and one slice of watermelon. I hired him but he immediately used his 2 weeks of PTO.

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

"So that's all I need to ask. Do you have any questions about the role?" "Yes, as part of my responsibilities... <Opens briefcase to reveal Margherita machine> ...where should I plug this in?!" <samba music starts playing, carnivale dancers burst in>

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Excellent thread. I now want a "Frasier" title card with outlines of Minas Tirith, Barad-Dur and so on

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Took the girls down The Range to get some papier mache animals to paint but they didn't have any so we looked for letters for their initials but they didn't have any so they saw numbers so they both got their ages Upshot is I now have "88" visibly on display in my house. #LiveLaughAnnexSudatenland

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

They're nice, but there's no mention of local wild-swimming opportunities

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Happy birthday your Mam. She has the same sort of big-but-short hair as mine, which is lovely

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Reading my old favourite "The Queen's Nose" by Dick King Smith to my daughter and have already had to explain large 50p pieces, tea chests and encyclopaedias. All in a book younger than me <crumbling to dust.gif>

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

He didn't include Ceres in the suite, and would definitely have known about her. A bit sad we never got a "Bringer of Growth", but maybe would have been too similar to Venus

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray, Go throw your TV set away, And in its place you can install A lovely bookshelf on the wall.

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

It rots the senses in the head! It kills imagination dead! It clogs and clutters up the mind! It makes a child so dull and blind He can no longer understand A fantasy, a fairyland! His brain becomes as soft as cheese! His powers of thinking rust and freeze! He cannot think -- he only sees

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

"The most important thing we've learned, So far as children are concerned, Is never, NEVER, NEVER let Them near your television set -- Or better still, just don't install The idiotic thing at all." From "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" by Roald Dahl

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

"Blackmere" is a wonderfully bleak sounding name. Very spirit of dark and lonely water

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I'm sure houses should have more windows than that. A whole lotta wall

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Yes. Very much so. There's some similar ones like that near us down Stroud way

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

"To Giorgio where no Armani has gone before"

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I heard there was a fighter plane Only thirteen built to it's name Too draggy and too heavy to pursue you The fire control was Thermionic Though electrical faults were quite chronic An unreliable APU too, yeah Airacuda...

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

A locomotive driver friend of mine had a similar issue. Local phone shop emptied a fair amount of coal dust and slack out of the charging port and it worked again

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

I shall apply to the Social Media Heritage Committee for this thread to be preserved by The Nation as being of important historical and educational interest

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

"Don't be freaked out by the feathers, webbed feet and Scottish accent"

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Oh, sympathy. My youngest had that most of the time til she was about two

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Reposted by Andy, the Maintainer

Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

They dunked it in the name of the Father but even with jettisoning ballast and adding floatation bags it wouldn't come out again for the other two in the Trinity

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

We only had a manual Ferguson TX, so neither do I

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

There's a great discussion on Reddit with Gen-Zedders trying (and failing) to interpret the phrase "You're wallied, you can't answer this" www.reddit.com/r/AskABrit/c...

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Explore this post and more from the AskABrit community

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Terrible merchandise like this is precisely why they had the Sixth Rule

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I tried to do a generative-AI faceswap thing for "Super Hanson" but the resulting image is too cursed for this world. Just say no, kids

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Never mind the being-voiced-by-a-female-actor voice discourse, will the Chronicles of Narnia adaptation perpetuate the oft-repeated error of trying to rhyme "teeth" with "breath". Charles Staples should have been laughed out of the Bird and Baby for that

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Dear BBC. Less Ratcliffe, more Radcliffe, please

Kombucha girl meme
Dislikes Sir Jim Ratcliffe on the radio
Likes Mark Radcliffe on the radio

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Reposted by Andy, the Maintainer

waltydunlop @waltydunlop.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

First publicity photo of Doctor Who and their new companion announced. Nobody seems to know which way round it is though.

The Robert Lenkiewicz painting of Judi Speirs, sitting in a wooden chair with Gus Honeybun on her lap.

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Who needs a sonic screwdriver when you've got magic buttons?

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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Never, ever, criticise the RNLI for going out to rescue people at sea. And never, ever, forget the story of the Solomon Browne.

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