iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Like so many of you here in the blue, blue sky, I have also drastically 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒆𝒅 in correspondence with today’s date.

Two pics side by side.

On the left, labeled September 30, an odd-looking bald guy (me) smiles and waves. He is wearing a green short-sleeved shirt. (I think. I’m colorblind, OK?)

On the right, labeled October 1 (in a spooky font), it’s the exact same picture. But in this one, the odd-looking bald guy is smiling and waving while wearing an orange short-sleeves shirt. (Again, I think. It was the best I could do in Photoshop with hex codes and the like, OK?)

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

YOU: Today’s the last day of September and you know what THAT means... ME: Tomorrow’s the first day of October? YOU: Right! And you know what THAT means... ME: Yes, 93 days until World Introvert Day. But maybe you should stop talking to me now, so I can get ready.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Sometimes I wonder if the joy I bring to people by dressing as a clown, sneaking up behind them, and honking my horn in their ears is worth all the time I spend recuperating in the hospital. 🤔🤡🤔

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I was going to see the touring production of The Sound of Music until I saw this promotional photo. Nice outfits, dweebs. What did you do, cut up the drapes?!?

Promotional photo for the touring production of The Sound of Music. The von Trapp children and Maria are wearing the play clothes she made for them out of the old drapes. Captain von Trapp is kneeling amongst his kids. They’re all singing.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Guess what? @michaelmay.bsky.social, @paxholley.com, @bizarrojimmyolsen.bsky.social, and I lounged around in the Lounge again. And you can listen to us doing so. FOR FREE! That said, I’m registered at the Spirit Halloween store occupying the space of a former Bed Bath & Beyond if you’re so inclined.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I get the “Sunday Blues” before coming back to work on Monday. But even while the wave of dread is hitting me, I think, “Is this extreme reaction really necessary? What’s so bad about work?” But then I get here and remember that they make me sit in a kiddie pool full of acid. That’s probably it.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

One day, I'll be dead and what will I have to show for it? My rotting corpse? Maybe propped up against a wall, flipping off the world? Cool.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Wow, I hadn’t checked on my “Muted Words and Tags” settings for a while and I just went in there and made some changes. So, if you guys want to talk spoilers about Bad Boys for Life (2020), I’ll see them now.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

The votes have already been tallied and the decisions have already been made on the latest episode of the @afterlunch.bsky.social podcast, but a late contender for Best Star Trek Theme has entered the chat. 🪩💃🖖😳

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

What’s your favorite GIF? (I mean, this is *everybody’s* favorite GIF.)

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Celebrate spooky season at Kohl’s, where our deals are so good they’re scary! Casual shoes up to 25% off! Activewear up to 30% off! A cashier who died in 2008 but still has unfinished business, apparently! Kitchen appliances up to 50% off! Actual ghouls! Towels up to 75% off!

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

"You should be grateful we're fighting in the Emperor's Throne Room. When I was your age, we had to fight in rivers of molten lava." "I KNOW, DAD!”

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Watto! Tom Bombadil! Prof. McGonagall! Spongebob! They’re all great Star Trek characters. But who’s the best?!? Trek experts @michaelmay.bsky.social, @bizarrojimmyolsen.bsky.social, @paxholley.com, Delaney Graham, and I deliberated and decided this and much more on our #StarTrekAwardies episode!

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

"But... but... I called... 'No backsies.'" - Me, waking up in the hospital six weeks after flicking Alan Ritchson’s earlobe

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Sometimes I unwind at work by tossing off a quick doodle of Leonardo da Vinci with my trusty red Sharpie.

A hand holding a red Sharpie is poised over an intricate black & white sketched portrait of Leonardo da Vinci on a sheet of white paper. Wait, is this a dumb joke???

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Look, without my expert guidance, I know you folks are *barely* muddling through your lives. So, here’s another #RobTip!

An odd-looking bald guy (me) smiles and winks at the camera, as if he is imparting a brilliant nugget of wisdom to the viewer. The title reads: ROB TIP #64

There’s a word balloon indicating what he’s saying, which is…

“If it seduces like a duck, beguiles like a duck, allures like a duck, and captivates like a duck, then it's probably a very sexy duck.”

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Why pay for things with your phone when you could use a bunch of Semiquincentennial “gold” Rob Graham dollar coins? (Or “Rob Bux,” as the teens are very strongly saying.) Take out your phone right now and buy hundreds of these “gold” beauties for only $9.99 each! (Plus $5.95 s/h)

A pic of the Trump gold-colored dollar coin. His face has been removed and replaced with that of an odd-looking bald guy (me) with a goofy, smiling expression. Next to his face are the words, “IN ROB WE TRUST?”

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

87 years ago today, mad scientists Christian Slater and Leslie Nielsen combined their DNA to create the unholy, yet lovable, abomination we know as Christian Nielsen. Happy “birthday,” @hunkburger.bsky.social!

Collage of three pictures side by side. Far left: Christian Slater, Middle: Leslie Nielsen, Right: Christian Nielsen with a big smile and wearing a “CANADA IS ALREADY GREAT” hat. 🇨🇦 🙌 🥳

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Yes, I’m being followed by a moonshadow Moonshadow, moonshadow I’m requesting a restraining order on a moonshadow Moonshadow, moonshadow My restraining order is violated by a moonshadow Moonshadow, moonshadow So now I’m tasing a moonshadow Moonshadow, moonshadow

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Sure, I used to say Scientology was a scam but after 96 sleepless hours in the Realignment Chamber, I’ve realized that was just my thetans talking.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Dumpster Choir will no longer be opening for Ed Sheeran

A fake, Photoshopped album cover for the fake band Dumpster Choir. The band consists of four odd-looking bald guys (all me) wearing different clothes and looking off into the middle distance in four different directions but all very seriously. It’s a black and white photo in front of a dumpster. The album name is Hot Garbage.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I find it hurtful when I accurately point out that I’m God’s gift to the world and you ask why He didn’t include a gift receipt.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I wasn’t able to see Hollywood’s biggest stars at the Emmys last night, but I was able to get a selfie with renowned “actor” and “person” Tilly Norwood in my own kitchen! 🤩🤖🤩

An odd-looking bald guy (me) holds up an iPad next to his smiling face. On the iPad is a picture of the AI “actor” Tilly Norwood.

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Reposted by Rob Graham

afterlunch.bsky.social @afterlunch.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

It's the last day to get your nominations in for the #StarTrekAwardies! Riker's Angel One outfit is currently not going to make it into the final nominations, but YOU can change that!

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

As I’m sure you know, “lounge” is a Nordic word meaning “to flummox a moose.” Well, @michaelmay.bsky.social, @paxholley.com, @bizarrojimmyolsen.bsky.social, and I flummoxed some mooses once again… for your listening enjoyment. (I mean, those mooses were like, “What the hell…???”) Check it out!

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Everyone knows that if you say “Candyman” five times into a mirror, he’ll show up and kill you real good. But—ugh—who has the time for all that? I wonder what would happen if I just posted the emojis 🍬👨‍💼🪞5️⃣ . Do you think he w

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

By the way, you don’t have to make a nomination in *every* category. If you only have nominees for a few, that’s fine, too! #StarTrekAwardies

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Star Trek TV shows. There’ve been a bunch. (13!!!) But which ones deserve #StarTrekAwardies? 9/14 is the deadline to make your nominations in the following categories: (1/3)

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Sorry, Marvel Comics, but I caught a huge mistake in this panel from Amazing Spider-Man #1. His name is Parker Palmer, you dolts.

Panel from Amazing Spider-Man #1 (1963). Peter Parker is getting dressed. He’s putting on his shirt and we can see his Spider-Man costume underneath. He’s looking at an article about the Fantastic Four and he’s thinking: “Say! Why didn’t I think of it before? There’s the way I can make some money—by joining the Fantastic Four!”

But the weirdest thing about this panel is the huge mistake in the caption:

“We know him as Peter Palmer… but the world knows him only as Spider-Man!”

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

“The Trouble with Tribbles” but with popcorn. (“The Problem with Popcorn.”) 🍿🖖

A Star Trek themed popcorn bucket. It’s a model of the USS Enterprise from the original series. The Enterprise is on a stand with the Starfleet insignia as its base. The top part of the saucer section of the ship is open to reveal that it’s full of popcorn.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I’m beginning to regret adding the caveat "Unless it's Thursday or the robot is just, like, having one of those days" to the Three Laws of Robotics.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I know I’m sometimes critical of Wolverine’s violent, anti-social behavior but just between you and me… if I had razor-sharp, unbreakable metal claws, I'd probably use them to chop people up, too.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Hello, <firstname>! We have updated our Terms of Service. Click here to see the updated information. Or just click the Accept button because who needs to read all that? It’s not like *snicker* we added a clause granting us unrestricted access to your bank account and bone marrow. Riiiight? 😉

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Happy 60th Anniversary, Star Trek! Today, you might watch your favorite shows or movies, read favorite novels or comics, or listen to classic Trek scores. But the BEST way to celebrate is to check out this @afterlunch.bsky.social thread and nominate your favorites for our podcast! #StarTrekAwardies

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Have you heard of “Star Trek”? Do you have opinions about it? Check out this thread from @afterlunch.bsky.social and express your opinions in the form of nominations for our upcoming awards show. You can nominate in any or all of the categories! Nanu nanu! (I think that’s Star Trek, right?)

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Do you remember that @michaelmay.bsky.social, @paxholley.com, & I are going through the Fast & Furious franchise for @afterlunch.bsky.social? No? I don’t blame you. We’re taking our time since the new one isn’t coming out until Summer 2148. So, enjoy this detour for some animated vroom-vroom teens!

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Thank you in advance for your votes. (And, in case you somehow forgot why you should vote for me, here’s your reminder that I invented this highly influential meme. And you can’t spell meme without “me”… twice. So, vote for me and make sure at least one other person votes for me, as well.)

A recreation of the meme where a romantic couple (in this meme, it’s a man and a woman) is walking down the street, away from the camera. An attractive woman has passed them, walking toward the camera. The man from the couple is turning around and admiring the attractive woman. The woman he’s actually with is looking at him with an outraged expression. (This is the classic meme people use for never appreciating the cool things you have and become distracted/ infatuated when something new and shiny comes along.)

Only in this version of the meme, all three people in the picture are the same odd-looking bald guys (me). And all three bald guys are labeled “me.”

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Post a picture of you from another era.

Black and white photo of four Depression-era guys wearing suits and hats and smoking cigarettes. They look tough and serious and they’re playing cards. In the middle of this group sits an odd-looking bald guy (me) wearing an anachronistic baseball cap and Spider-Man t-shirt. Instead of a cigarette, he has a long, swirly lollipop in his mouth. And instead of holding regular playing cards, he’s got stylized Old Maid cards. What a silly goose this guy is. 🤪🪿

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

This is just to say… William Carlos Williams and I are craptabulous roommates.

An odd-looking bald guy (me) with a nervous expression is sheepishly shrugging in front of an open refrigerator. The text reads…

I have eaten
the Go-gurt
that was in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving for lunch

Soooooo…

We good, bro?

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Whoa! Have you seen this fake but sadly believable post from our president that I just made up?!??!? 🤯

Fake, Photoshopped Truth Social post, purportedly from Trump’s account but, again, it’s not. Because it’s fake. It reads:

After our great success with Lake America, I am hereby announcing another renaming ceremony to be held in the Oval Office at 3:00 pm TODAY. Until Canada unilaterally lifts all reciprocal tariffs (and agrees to become the 51st state… don’t worry, you’ll be number 52 GREENLAND), I will be renaming the “8th Wonder of the World” which was previously known as “Niagara Falls”. No more. Now thanks to my leadership, AMERICA FALLS!

Thank you for your attention to this matter!

President DJT

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Reposted by Rob Graham

CT⚡️ @stormspeed.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Alright @afterlunch.bsky.social...my #StarTrekAwardies nominations are complete. I look forward to @spidey004.bsky.social's neighbor Jerry being used as some kind of tie-breaker and him choosing "Shades of Gray" [TNG] as the best episode.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

I’ve been out of the acting game for a while because I was pursuing some exciting opportunities in the fast food industry. But I think my new headshot/resume will put me back on the path to superstardom!

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

I know I should be working but I’m I’m already dreaming about the lunch I brought in. 💭🌽💭

An odd-looking bald guy (me) with his eyes closed and a dreamy smile on his face. In a thought bubble, we can see what he’s dreaming about. It’s a container of a fake Lunchables product called Oops! All Corn. There’s a picture of a pile of corn on the cover. Apparently, this guy really likes corn.

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Me too, additionally, as well, also!

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Happy birthday, @horrormoviebbq.bsky.social! I know you have a fondness for bunnies, sooooo… 😘

An odd-looking bald guy (me) wears bunny ears and a Spider-Man themed football jersey for some reason. (It’s just a head-and-shoulders shot, so you can’t tell it’s a Spider-Man themed football jersey. But I assure you it is.)

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

🧵👀🖖 (And, just in case it’s not clear, these award categories are for Trek TV only. All Trek shows are eligible!)

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Nobody has said so (probably because they’re too intimidated), but I’m pretty sure everyone at work thinks my paperclip “claws” are super rad.

An odd-looking bald guy (me) takes a selfie. He is trying and failing to muster a tough, intimidating expression. And he is brandishing his fist in front of his face, with three straightened paperclips between his fingers acting as “claws.”

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Rob Graham @spidey004.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Fear not, I am always with you. Even when you aren’t seeing my posts in your feed, you may rest assured I have hacked into your account and I’m reading your DMs. (And shaking my head sadly. What’s the matter with you?)

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