gonna angst on here cuz im sad
the realization that people dont actually like you just sucks
it doesnt matter how many times you remind yourself not to have expectations, bc you know what an unlikeable person you are, it still sucks and it's still a punch in the gut every dang time
![p1 [Behind Sqh: I'm gonna die" written in intermitent succession]: But the continued presence of that shadow touch
p2: narration: Began to make more sense, and take on a different meaning.
sqh [thinking as mbj's shadow crawl nudges him]: He's just informing he's nearby...
[Arrow pointing at SQH saying he didn't brush his hair yet]
p3 [shadow once again hug sqh]: Narration: Until Shang Qinghua understood it simply meant
p4: sqh sighing](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:7ub5zgmjpeiw6oydyducbxs4/bafkreidosuztx7ekjbzybsgm5hrh5uoegwa74yltvy6kx2kbapmrhysira)
![p1: "I'm here" in a way that would rouse no suspicion. As the years went by, his understanding of mobei jun deepened just as the shadows got bolder.
[Next 3 panels indicate passage of time]
p2: sqh [thinking as mobei's shadows crowl over him]: Finally. I thought you wouldn't show up!
narration: and each time they covered move of him, the more he liked it.
p3: The more he missed it when mobei jun was away
disciple: ..Shizun?
sqh: Ah, sorry. I got distracted. PLease continue.
p4: narration: Until he craved it like it was a part of him.
sqh [in his royal attire]: You can leave, the king is here.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:7ub5zgmjpeiw6oydyducbxs4/bafkreibwzyajwaq5p7h4rxlbojq2fqmfwctgv47p4vzruwgfqydteynvem)
![p1:
servant [thinking] Eh? I don't see him..
servant: Yes, wise king. This servant shall leave now.
SQH [ with mobei jun's shadow covering his entire body from the neck down under his clothes]: hmm.
narration: That secret talk they could have at any moment
p2:
[narration]: Concealed under the safety of his clothes
mbj [materializing our of the shadows]: Your shoulders are too tight.
p3:
[narration]: Until the moment came to emerge
sqh: You are late
mbj: Only to you.
p4:
narration: When he would finally be given the owner, instead of just the shadow of his touch.
sqh: And is there anyone else?
mbj: hmm.
p5:
mbj [lifting sqh's face up with a finger on his chin]: You look tired.
sqh: About that. Will you do /that/ thing for me tonight?
mbj: only if you actually sleep this time. Much as I enjoy taking you, you've been working nonstop thanks to this meeting.
sqh: Mobei-
mbj: Non-negotiable.
sqh: Argh siiigh fine. Just this time.
[narration]: ...Though he would nev er say no to having both at the same time.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:7ub5zgmjpeiw6oydyducbxs4/bafkreihahtc44n325dywkzve6sstjqv7jkpwpffnyfxtwklldrwkfquin4)
