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Sofie Couwenbergh

@sofiecouwenbergh.com
18 followers 30 following 83 posts

Writer, thinker, and dance aficionada. Fueled by tea, passionate about interpersonal communication. She/her. Essays and poetry on sofiecouwenbergh.substack.com

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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 23/05/2025
You don't want to dance with everyone, so you can't expect everyone to want to dance with you. ... and that goes for more than just dancing.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 17/05/2025
Different generations, sure. From different backgrounds, too. Does that change that it was inappropriate? No. I might take a detour to get to my car later, because there are only so many battles you can fight in a day. To be continued.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 17/05/2025
I saw him again yesterday, yet this time, my “boa tarde” gave him enough confidence to comment on my backpack, my clothes, and the tone of my skin. He also asked what time I’d pass by today so he could make sure to sit outside then. That took an uncomfortable turn fast. 👇🏻
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 17/05/2025
A week or so ago, an old, grumpy-looking man appeared on the street I park my car. He’d be sitting there on a bench, face closed. So two days ago, I decided to greet him a “boa tarde” as I walked past. His face lit up and showed a serious lack of teeth. “Boa tarde,” he replied. 👇🏻
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 15/05/2025
That last line sucked me right in.
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Reposted by Sofie Couwenbergh
Mike Sowden @mikeachim.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
OK, this is wild. In September 2023, geophysicists across the world started monitoring a very odd signal coming from the ground under them. It was picked up in the Arctic. And Antarctica. It was detected everywhere, every 90 seconds, as regular as a metronome, for *nine days*. What the HELL? 1/
Unsplash image of the Earth, mostly the nightside with a tracery of city lights on every continent.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 10/05/2025
That is pretty cool! Congrats :)
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 10/05/2025
I rewatch this every time it passes by. Pure gold.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 22/04/2025
Oh this is interesting. Thanks for sharing!
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 18/04/2025
More and more, I'd say. Although poetry, for example, still works best for me when it "arises". This suddenly made me think that writing for myself might be so hard because there is 0 constraint. No accountability (but to myself): no deadline, nobody's waiting for it, it can come out as anything...
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 18/04/2025
Absolutely. I've learned that while I usually crave to keep connection going, I need to take space whenever something triggering happens so I can sit with how I really feel about something (and thus what I really need to say) vs whatever my Protector wants to throw out in the moment.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 18/04/2025
Today I realized, I'm not too much. Their arms simply weren't strong enough to hold me.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 15/04/2025
Writing is digesting. You take in something raw or well-cooked. To make it your own, you need to swallow, even when that's hard. As the experience moves through your system, what's nourishing gets absorbed, what's not passes through, and in the end, you just hope that what comes out is solid.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 15/04/2025
I'd say it's also exploring and deepening your thoughts, your processing, your perspective. And this makes me think of the many letters to men I've rewritten dozens of times over until I reached a point where I knew where I was at with the situation :D
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 14/04/2025
About how Portuguese helps us differentiate between how we define ourselves and the temporary states we move through. open.substack.com/pub/sofiecou...
open.substack.com
States of Being
As hard as it is to implement, I like how Portuguese makes the difference between ser (“to be”) and estar (“to find oneself in a state of”).
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 14/04/2025
When you crave something deeply and then get a drop of it - but just one - your need isn’t met; you’re just reminded of it fiercely. And so with gratitude for each drop, comes grief for the lack of a stream.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 14/04/2025
Totally going to use the 👉 instead of my inefficient x/y system. Thanks for that :D
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 14/04/2025
I'm feeling torn between "That is so cool, I wish I could do that" and "That looks laborious. Do I really need to do that to get my point across?" And perhaps there lies the question of what matters most: sharing a message in a pleasant-enough-way, or creating art. 👉
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 14/04/2025
I'm noticing that writing within time constraints helps me write more uncensored, and I enjoy using prompts to unearth topics that may have been dormant, or to approach them from a different angle. When it comes to writing within the constraight of a given format (braided essay, list form, etc.) 👉
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 11/04/2025
I either go into over-explaining or deciding that the time for that piece hasn't come yet and leave it for later. But maybe I'm not understanding what you meant?
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 11/04/2025
It seems reasonable that sometimes, experimenting with structure, syntax, etc. can help us phrase things we're struggling to formulate but that are still true. Not speaking from experience here, though. 3/4 (last one, promise :D)
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 11/04/2025
I'm truly wondering about that now as I'm taking a writing course after 15 years of just doing my thing (with a master's in Literature as the foundation, I will say) and we've been talking about structuring personal narrative, finding your voice, etc. 2/3 (Sorry keep having more thoughts).
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 11/04/2025
I'm thinking of experimenting with structure, for example, instead of just writing, checking for flow and typos, and hitting publish like I usually do. *enter shame* Similarly, is something less truthful when we try to say it in a nicer or more interesting way than we would conversationally?1/2
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 11/04/2025
I should probably try to sound a bit more like a good writer, if I'm being honest with myself :D
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 10/04/2025
There is no applause for choosing to create light amidst the pain and sadness, but it's the only way to not let the darkness win.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 29/03/2025
If only we could learn that caring for our wellbeing also helps our productivity, how much faster we'd go do the things that make us feel better :)
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 29/03/2025
This ad made me chuckle :)
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 27/03/2025
"Less normalized (...) is the grief we experience when losing ourselves. Sometimes, we consciously upgrade who we are, yet in the process, we ignore that not everything about the old us was that bad. We throw away the baby with the bathwater and then wonder why we miss something to care for." >>>
sofiecouwenbergh.substack.com
On Self-Loss and Grief
How often do you hold space for the grief you experience when you lose a part of yourself? Sometimes we consciously upgrade who we are, yet in the process, we ignore that not everything about the old ...
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 27/03/2025
That is so cool!
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 27/03/2025
I'm reading "The Extended Mind" right now and it talks about how studies have shown that, for example, investors, take better decisions when they are attuned to their bodies and follow their gut feelings versus when they analyze huge amounts of data.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 26/03/2025
Me every time I wait hours to go out for a walk: "I really should go outside earlier in the day." Me one week later: "Let me just finish one more thing..."
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 24/03/2025
“When we feel our heart leap at the thought of one option before us, and our heart sink at the mention of another, what does that portend for the choice we ultimately make?” - 'The Extended Mind' by Annie Murphy Paul
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 24/03/2025
Thanks for saying that. I appreciate it :) Maybe instead of cosplaying, you could come up with an adaptation of the hermit witch? The City Balcony Word Witch? Granted, it's a mouthful :D
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 18/03/2025
This is something I'm working on, for myself and, slowly, through my writing. You're probably looking for someone more "established" but I wanted to comment anyway as this resonates. Trying to live a fulfilling, nervous system-friendly as a solopreneur, while living in a city.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 15/03/2025
My pleasure :)
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Reposted by Sofie Couwenbergh
Femtech Insider @femtechinsider.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
Women’s Health Startups File EU Complaints Against Tech Giants Over Content Censorship buff.ly/ESa6ERz
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 13/03/2025
@pmillerd.com Just wanted to let you know there's a little typo in the link to your membership in your bio :) Have a lovely rest of your day.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 13/03/2025
What if it’s not a matter of choosing how much we focus on building our future and how much we enjoy the now, but a matter of building our future in a way that is joyful, purposeful, and gratifying as we go about it? sofiecouwenbergh.substack.com/p/entreprene...
sofiecouwenbergh.substack.com
An Alternative Definition of Entrepreneurial Success
It’s been hip for a while to go against the hustle culture, but usually, the people who advocate that are people who have already sold their businesses for fuck-you money, who are already very financi...
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 10/03/2025
Contentment is just as much about accepting who we are not, as it is about being true to who we are.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 07/03/2025
Would you rather reach the end of your life and regret all the growth you avoided out of fear of discomfort, or be uncomfortable now with a good chance of more joy and calm in the long run?
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 06/03/2025
1/8 of my Weekly Cafe Working Sessions Challenge (I really need a better name for it): done! I was so much more focused than I usually I am at home yet at the same time it felt a little too intense, maybe. I'm excited to see how I'll feel next week.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 04/03/2025
If you liked these lessons, please subscribe to my Substack where I share a more detailed breakdown of this series as well as similar content sofiecouwenbergh.substack.com
sofiecouwenbergh.substack.com
Cultivating Connection | Sofie Couwenbergh | Substack
Thoughts on connecting to joy, values, others, and ourselves in an attempt to gain some clarity and create a fulfilling life. Join me? Click to read Cultivating Connection, by Sofie Couwenbergh, a Sub...
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 04/03/2025
9. Having a daily thing to show up for was beneficial for my mental health. The past two years have been challenging (more on that later) and many days still are. Having to publish something that other people would see every day helped me maintain a sense of positivity and motivation.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 04/03/2025
8. I could find joy in every day, even though some days I had to look harder. I'm not claiming this would be the case for everyone, but doing this series forces me to look for moments of joy in even the blandest-seeming days. And so far, I've always found at least one a day.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 04/03/2025
7. I’m bad at counting. At one point, I was off by nearly 10 days. Oh well.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 04/03/2025
6. Sharing my Little Things late at night made it easier to be consistent and feel a positive effect but was worse for my phone use. Leaving it for the next day made it harder to remain consistent.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 04/03/2025
5. You never know who will reach out. It was interesting to see who did comment on the series. I was particularly surprised and extremely grateful for the few people in my social circles who came up to me in person to tell me they appreciated my Little Things. It takes some courage to do that.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 04/03/2025
4. People are lurkers. Sometimes it's sad to see how many people see your content and how few interact with it. Especially when it's people you know.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 04/03/2025
3. It feels incredible when your words have a positive impact, even if it’s on only a few people. Since I started, many people have let me know how my Little Things bring joy to their day, and some of them told me the series has made them look for Little Things in their own days.
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Sofie Couwenbergh @sofiecouwenbergh.com · 04/03/2025
2. Doing something publicly is a powerful way of creating accountability for yourself. Having an accountability partner only works for me in very specific circumstances, and doing something publicly is simpler than finding the right accountability partner for everything.
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