Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Guys who put 6’ as their height in their tinder bio are always five apples tall and their weight is three apples. Official character profiles list their full name as Kitty White (キティ・ホワイト, Kiti Howaito), born in the suburbs of London, England, on November 1. They are portrayed as a bright and kind- 041
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 01/10/2026This total meathead blew my head off with a shotgun and well as a result my sweetheart has gotten the ick 041
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 29/09/2026350 bones for a bunch of his clothes and an autographed picture and he doesn’t even come with it. He’s trapped in the mainframe 011
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Whooper is good, but it’s different from how it used to be. If there was ever a golden age of BK it’s over now 110
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 25/09/2026My father froze to death 30ft up Mt Everest while following in the footsteps of my grandfather who froze to death 35ft up Mt Everest 120
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 23/09/2026People dedicate their whole lives to being "Pokemon" fans yet when you ask them to name a Pokemon they get real quiet. There are none. 050
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Spent $1100 on replacing my fried GPU with a higher end model and realized after clicking around for an hour that I don’t care about any of the games out that need a higher end GPU 050
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Because he has a change of heart and does the right thing for Stuart. 120
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Ate a big chimichanga and now I’m on the couch with the AC blowing right at me 070
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 20/09/2026There’s a FUCKING CHEETO IN TJE WHOTE HOUSE and OUR SOLDIERS COME HOME to NOTHING! 040
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 18/09/2026When I was 19 I got higher than I ever have in my entire life and I started seeing CoD-style hit markers whenever I took a bite out of my pizza 041
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Thought I was making some headway with my journeyman until I replied to one of his texts with “Hachi machi!” 010
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 16/09/2026My arms and legs and head all fell off and my teeth and tongue and eyes fell out and went down a storm drain and rats ate my eyes and tongue and now they’re eating my arms and legs and head. When it rains it pours I guess 000
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Last time I checked there was nothing wrong with a boob! #tuesday 120
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 14/09/2026My gaming coach taped a can of brake cleaner to my head and whenever my APM starts to drop he whips a nail at it 020
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Hypocrisy of the Gamer: My favourite things in a video game are acid and poison, but in real life I stay far away from them. I’m not perfect. I’m willing to admit that. 060
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 11/09/2026That’s my boy Travis, he abandoned me in my time of greatest need. And that’s Anton, in my darkest hour I looked desperately for a hand to grab onto and saw no sign of him. That’s Rito short for Burrito, funny story to that nickname. Anyway he deserted me when I needed him most like the rest of them 050
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 10/09/2026The loathsome Dung Eater must have seriously been hungry as fuck to be doing that 021
Reposted by SnoobyThe Bricked Up Homie @prefectbeanis.bsky.social · 09/09/2026Strong men make weak times. Weak men make strong cheese. Strong chease make chease whease. And chease whease make pees dees. 732955
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Guy in my building who was laughing at me while I was stuck in the mud pit last week has been stuck in the mud pit since 7am 080
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 04/09/2026The video where the guy is in a department store and he’s holding a pot of coffee and a coffee mug yelling about how he made a fresh pot of coffee and does anyone want coffee and the workers are telling him to leave and he keeps yelling louder and louder. That’s a goodass video 010
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 01/09/2026When the new GTA comes out people will be online talking about how it’s wrong for the player to be playing as a murderer. Meanwhile I’m totally stuck in this mud pit and nobody will help me out 011
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 01/09/2026I saw Megaman irl this weekend getting kicked out of a bar, they shoved him out the door and he fell and exploded into light particles on the ground. Had no idea he lived in Vancouver. 030
Reposted by SnoobyJoe 9️⃣🕘 @joekeller.bsky.social · 30/08/2026I took the T from Cartman, gave him an E. And now a seed planted in Colorado has grown to define the world. 1243
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 29/08/2026My work phone started ringing across the room and for a split second I started to get up but then I said “What the fuck are you doing, it’s Saturday” out loud to myself and lay back down on da couch 000
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 26/08/2026(Arming my brethren with futuristic weapons to take over your house for our headquarters) Mm? 110
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 26/08/2026If I had a Time Machine I would go back and protect the Neanderthals from the Homo sapiens. The Neanderthals didn’t do anything wrong 141
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 24/08/2026(Trying to pretend like I’ve read Don Quixote but mixing him up with Machiavelli and also getting a lot of other stuff wrong in my head) Well basically the point of the book is you gotta do what you gotta do 120
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 19/08/2026I go on break and check my phone and I’m immediately seeing tweets where like 60% of the words are four syllables or more. Like what the fuck is your problem? Do you have any idea how shit the coffee is here? You ever think about just taking a fuckin breath for a second? 010
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Getting hit with a shrink ray as I’m eating breakfast and a piece of crispy bacon bifurcates me from the inside out 010
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Here at McDonald’s we’ve been hard at work making a burger that costs more 040
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 16/08/2026Funny bit in a buddy comedy would be Buddy 1 having a dream where he accidentally hits Buddy 2 with his car and he just shatters into a million pieces like glass and 1 wakes up screaming but then it never gets brought up again and doesn’t affect the rest of the movie at all 030
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 16/08/2026Cracking myself up thinking about a drag queen whose name is just Scooby Doo 010
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Extremely proud Komodo dragon purchasing a lemon-lime Gatorade on its own for the first time with a soggy $10 bill. Local news runs story on it, editor is kind and leaves out part where it hadn’t figured out change and just left the coins on the counter. Nice thing to imagine. 030
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 10/08/2026Hey man the guys are gonna watch me crawl around on the floor and look for nickels and skittles and stuff to put in my mouth this weekend if you wanna swing by 040
Snooby @snooby.bsky.social · 09/08/2026I’ve never been able to take Zendaya seriously because I was made aware of her existence through that Trolls 2 video where the guy goes “Zendaya is Meechi 😃🙌”. I’m sure she’s got some great movies but every time I hear about one I’m like oh yeah another Meechi movie. I’ll pass on Meechi. 150
Reposted by Snoobyjack M @balan.bsky.social · 07/08/2026my drafts from when i was being theodore the chipmunk on here 03710
