iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 9h

Florida is different, man. It’s Eat or Be Eaten. No wonder the buzzards were circling. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 14/10/2026

Officer: Do you know why I stopped you? Driver: Sir, this is a Wendy's.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 13/10/2026

I would characterize it as a good _reaction_. The driver walked a half mile home and continued drinking until the police showed up asking pesky questions.

A broken telephone pole leans into the roadway, suspended by its cables

A large red pickup truck full of lumber lays on its driver’s side on a scraped lawn. The passenger side has a vertical (floor-to-roof) dent from impacting the telephone pole.

Wider view of the large red pickup truck full of lumber lays on its driver’s side on a scraped lawn. The passenger side has a vertical (floor-to-roof) dent from impacting the telephone pole.

Daytime photo of the skid marks leading to the workers replacing the telephone pole

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 13/10/2026

This is the wider scene. The granite (it’s that state) is to deflect drunks after a significant incident.

A row of yellow bushes next to a road with large granite boulders the size of small granite boulders on a green lawn

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 13/10/2026

I agree! Grade A framing. You reminded me of my (15-years-ago) neighbor’s row of blooming bushes.

A row of yellow blooming bushes going from close-right to far-left on a green lawn with large granite boulders the size of small boulders on the left.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 11/10/2026

That’s some Grade-A Premium foreshadowing right there. www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...

USA TODAY

Amelia Earhart expedition team heads to island of huge, hunting crabs

[photo of a huge multicolored crab with six big muscular forelimbs, two of which have powerful pinchers, and the most frightening part is that the crab IS CLIMBING A FUCKING TREE! Those fuckers can probably open fucking doors, too.]

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 10/10/2026

I don’t care if it’s pre-tenderized. Not even this economy will let you make road-squirrel happen. www.foodrepublic.com/2279715/skip...

For You

Tasting Table

Skip Ground Beef: This Meat Gives Burgers Superior Texture

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 10/10/2026

I hope she finds peace as America’s most-hated regular person.

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL

She has been called 'America's most-hated influencer. Now she wants a rebrand.

 News+

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 10/10/2026

I live in the land of limes, but it’s difficult to maintain a supply of limes without eventually wasting some, then I feel guilty h/t to @ihnatko.bsky.social for this tip! Two packets drastically improved this beverage, which I already liked a lot. It’s genuine lime tangy flavor, and I should know…

A box of True Lime with Cran-Grape juice, Bacardi Añejo, and a purplish drink with three oblong ice cylinders

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 10/10/2026

I was identifying a bird with Merlin (clay-colored thrush, btw) and my accursèd fridge and the dog next door felt left out and needed to pipe up.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 09/10/2026

Getting music onto your Apple Watch is like dealing with a crackhead who owes you money. It’s just excuse after excuse.

Apple Watch screenshot:

Waiting to Download

"3+" will download the next time your Apple Watch is charging.

OK
Download Now

Apple Watch screenshot:

Waiting to Download

"3+" will download once your
Apple Watch has a better internet connection.

OK

Speedtest shows my download speed is 195 Mbps and upload is 167 Mbps

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 09/10/2026

You gotta hand it to the Gulf of Mexico. Destroying the oil refineries on the way to making It ⚡️ Happen on live TV is highly efficient revenge.

Sayellite image of intense hurricane approaching the Gulf of Mexico coast

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 08/10/2026

My friend (who always uses speech-to-text) somehow has not had enough of me.

Text exchange…

Friend: I watched a really good movie last night. Called the Ron Clark story.
6:57 PM

Me: Oh, the inventor of the Clark bar
7:00 PM

Friend: Hah. It's about a teacher in New York and it's based on the tree story. It's not sappy.
7:00 PM

Me: [photo of a CLARK BAR]
7:00 PM

Me: I thought trees were sappy tho
7:01 PM

Friend: [smiling emoji]

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 07/10/2026

If not now, when? If not me, who? bsky.app/profile/pale...

Skeet from Matt Novak (with the curséd number 47 faves):

I once had an Amazon person try to pull this with me and got so angry they cc'd my editor. In the follow up email I cc'd the president at the time (Obama)

Skeet from Matt Novak (now with 48 faves, which are pink):

I once had an Amazon person try to pull this with me and got so angry they cc'd my editor. In the follow up email I cc'd the president at the time (Obama)

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 27/09/2026

I keep loudly announcing my dinner in a deep voice like the host of Sábado Gigante. I amuse myself.

A resealable bag of Pilgrim’s frozen chicken patties prominently labeled PECHUGA PICANTE

Frame of the opening of the Latin American variety show SÁBADO GIGANTE

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 27/09/2026

The possessed soul of one evil girl in every carton!

A conveyor belt full of Laura Lynn orange juice cartons, each with a creepy possessed toddler girl staring into your rapidly crumbling soul

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 27/09/2026

That’s so weird! Nolo Contendere was my court name in college.

Hurricane Activity Alert (C....
Nolo has been upgraded to a Category 3 Hurricane with sustained winds of 115 MPH

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 27/09/2026

Sometimes I wonder how a Cray Supercomputer would do on Geekbench, like most normal people.

Render of a Cray Supercomputer with BUSINESS! people for scale

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 27/09/2026

TIL that even an iPhone 13 Mini does some AI stuff with iOS 27. A widget showed me this (saved from the great @trumpsties.bsky.social). I boosted the new trailer on him here and it might have sniffed that. Tapping on it, I saw that it has this 3D effect now. (Also a good excuse to post that clown)

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 25/09/2026

What would you bring to an interview? I’d hire a private investigator and bring each person’s preferred beverage, with their name on it, and the favorite snack of each of their children, naming the child as I place each one in front of the parent.

Photo of a chocolatey mess of an iced coffee drinking a plastic cup with the words:

Would you bring an iced coffee to a job interview?

Everyone disagrees.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 23/09/2026

I just discovered why there was a loud noise from my groceries being bagged last time. I’m really mad because this stuff was so good.

A jar of Prego Arrabbiata sauce with an impact that broke the glass in an interesting spider-web pattern that preserved the integrity of the jar, somehow.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 22/09/2026

Additionally, Grogu, frequently referred to as a baby, does not have the wherewithal to consent to the assassination of the Hutt twins and their minions. Hey, if you don't want to be nitpicked, don't invoke the Magical Negro trope.

Baby Grogu agrees to obliterate the lives of countless souls at the prodding of his guardian, the Mandolorian

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 22/09/2026

I was really enjoying The Mandalorian and Grogu until Favreau pulled out the Magical Negro trope.

Gatori (voiced by Stephen McKinley Henderson) giving a magical healing potion to Grogu for the Mandalorian in The Mandalorian and Grogu.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 20/09/2026

The Health features in iOS 27 are incredibly useful.

For You

Tasting Table

Filet-O-Fish Vs Egg McMuffin: Which
McDonald's Sandwich Is Actually Healthier?

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 20/09/2026

Previous to your recent Reminders lists posts, I believed I had the best collection of lists.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 20/09/2026

X-ray wallpaper (thanks, iFixit!) works really well with the Liquid Glass design. (I skipped iOS 26, so I’m new.)

The Home Screen of my iPhone 13 Mini with an X-ray of an iPhone 13 Mini as the wallpaper.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 19/09/2026

Can’t wait for my “Existence Score” from St. Peter.

Speedtest app results screen congratulating me on a “high score” for my internet speed (190 Mbps down and 194 Mbps up)

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 19/09/2026

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' — Steven Wright

iPhone widget that says my Sleep Score is 80, assessed as “OK”

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 18/09/2026

Going through the funeral scene in Slow Horses, looking for the mystery assassins [SPOILER ALERT] who were already always dressed in black, I noticed they highlighted First Desk, who is decidedly not content, for this lyric of the hymn in church. It's like these people know what they're doing.

Kristin Scott Thomas as Diana Taverner in Slow Horses looks like a sourpuss in a church with the subtitle of a hymn, "Whose voice is contentment"

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 18/09/2026

What's next? Are they gonna dis the humble potato?

Babs Olusanmokun as a fantasy character in ST:SNW says "Whomst" is not a word.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 17/09/2026

Ed Sheeran's guitar has dropped out of the Ed Sheeran tour.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 16/09/2026

Carnac the Magnificent: Ooooh! Bim skala bim! How everyone will die away from cities, and close to cities. Ed McMahon: How everyone will die... away from cities... and close to cities. Carnac the Magnificent: That's right. [tears envelope]

Johnny Carson as Carnac the Magnificent holding an envelope to his forehead with his eyes closed

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 16/09/2026

Zorak and the Original Way Outs have dropped out of the Ed Sheeran tour.

Zorak and the Original Way Outs, the house band for Space Ghost Coast to Coast

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 14/09/2026

Newscaster, I served with Kal-El. I knew Kal-El. Kal-El was a friend of mine. Newscaster, you're no Kal-El.

Some random newscaster who thought it’d be cool if he had a little lock of a hair curl on his forehead. Sadly, he was woefully mistaken.

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XÆA-12’s real daddy @smartasshat.favrd.social · 14/09/2026

Just had a friend drop in to help out with the whole mosquito thing.

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