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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph

@sjavik.com
461 followers 561 following 1.2K posts

Father to 3 clever girls, husband to one more. I like bikes

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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 10/09/2026
bf eaten by lobster???
Reddit post by Emotional_Original34
 What tank mates can go with a dungeness crab 
 Hypothetically if I were to go to a grocery store and rescue a dungeness crab for my aquarium, are there any other species of animal I can put in the same tank with it? I only have a 55 gallon tank. 

Response from Salty_Gate_9548
 I would not recommend it. Dungeness crabs are rarely kept at pet as per my knowledge, making research into proper care and husbandry very difficult. The closest thing I am aware of is people keeping lobsters from supermarkets, in which case they will eat any fish they can get their hands on. 

Response from SquareDouble6129
 Hello I have one and I put a lobster with it but the lobster ate it so just don't put a lobster.
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 03/09/2026
Dril tweet saying “so long suckers! I rev up my motorcycle and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 31/08/2026
Vaporwave styling of insane moon communism
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 11/07/2026
My SpoOon is tOo big!
Still from Don Hertzfeldt’s rejected cartoons featuring a big spoon
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 01/07/2026
Nevertheless He Persisted
A foldable miter saw table on wheels jankily attached to the rear rack of a cargo bike like a pull-behind trailer that could only go one place: hell
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 11/06/2026
A drawing of jar jar binks and Garfield combined. The creature has breasts they are lightly covering with their paws. The image has a frowny face reaction after being sent in a chat.

Swyds2015:dysswyd deserves an hd remake
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 22/05/2026
Cornelius Hawthorne from Community wearing an ivory wig and looking surprised, similar to the woman pictured
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 11/05/2026
Wint @dril
drunk driving may kill a lot of people, but it also helps a lot of people get to work on time, so, it;s impossible to say if its bad or not,
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 30/03/2026
Welcome To The Onionati.

Your Onion membership allows you to peel back the curtain and access stories that you always suspected to be true, but never had the proof. Now you do.

For example: Does the 1% rule the world? Yes. Can you do anything about it? No. Will recycling help? Also no.

Warning: the truths you will learn can make you seem unbalanced to the non-members but their opinions will no longer matter to you.

Welcome to the Onionati.

Contribution details:

Date Received: 3/30/2026
Amount Received: $75.00
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 11/03/2026
A card of Sheryl Sandbar, a character from the board game Class War published by Jacobin Magazine. Her description reads “I was back on the company zoom while they were still stitching up my C-section — what’s your excuse?”
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 02/01/2026
How your email finds me
A picture of a goat standing with its head in the corner
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 15/12/2025
a good apple could fix me
Pikachu from pokemon snap looking very satisfied after eating a fruit
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 03/12/2025
Recently tested this myself. Before and after:
A picture from Infowars of Alex Jones before and 45 days later. The context is that he was taking some kind of supplement. There is no discernible change except that he is redder in the 'after' photo.
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 26/11/2025
Back to back skeets, the first being the one this is replying to, the second is a Corel clip art gallery of a hand washing sign
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 18/11/2025
Guy so committed to urbanism he wears street clothes to a spin class
An exhausted, soaking wet middle aged man on an exercise bike in a gym. He is wearing street clothes because he told his daughter she could pick his workout clothes if she got dressed and went to school.
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 05/11/2025
@dril post

alan dershowitz once tried to defend me in court by pulling out a pocket pussy and insisting he would never fuck it. we lost the case

3:10 PM Jan 30, 2020
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 05/11/2025
Early Garfield comic where he is smoking a pipe
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 20/10/2025
Tweet from @dril

CHIEF: dracula is in our sights. Take the shot!
SNIPER: I can't, Sir. I'm Woke!
ME (watching through binoculars): He's woke! He wont do it!
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 16/10/2025
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 11/10/2025
@nytpitchbot.bsky.social
An opinion piece from The NY Times International titled “Give Trump the Nobel for Gaza, if he does the harder parts to come” by Thomas L Friedman
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 04/09/2025
I modeled this for just such an occasion makerworld.com/en/models/66...
A 3d print of a character from the Onion political cartoons looking through a window. His shirt says "sickos" and he's saying "YES... HA HA HA... YES!"
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 29/08/2025
This was all the way back in May. Gone by the time I commuted back through the station though.
A microsoft banner showing all the stuff they've done in the puget sound region spraypainted over with "MSFT KILLS KIDS" and other messages about their complicity in Israel's crimes against Palestinians
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 20/08/2025
You’re making an understandable leap, sorry
Breast-feeding of animals by women: Its socio-cultural context and geographic occurrence

Frederick J Simoons, James A Baldwin
Anthropos, 421-448, 1982
In this paper, the practice of women breast-feeding animals is viewed from a geographic and historical perspective. The principal aims are to establish where the practice has been commonplace, to determine its economic and socio-cultural context, to consider its possible role in animal domestication, and to weigh its significance in human ecology. — In many cases, the practice is an expression of affection for pets (among Polynesians, among forest peoples of tropical South America, and especially among aboriginal hunters and gatherers in Southeast Asia, Australia, and Tasmania). In other cases, affection is supplemented or supplanted by economic concerns, as among various Melanesian "pig complex" peoples. In some cases, breast-feeding of animals is linked to cult and ritual, an outstanding example being the nursing of cubs in connection with the Ainu bear cult. In a few cases, animals are breast-fed with the welfare of the human mother or child being of greatest concern. The conclusion is drawn that animal nursing may indeed have contributed to the
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 17/08/2025
Girl you are just my type
A dry erase marker labeled as “low odor” and “fine”
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 14/08/2025
BECU to fund new dating program for Seattle singles
Ad from BECU showing that you can win $1,000 by shopping at PCC. PCC is widely cited as a place people met their spouse in the greater Seattle area.
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 23/07/2025
This is the future republican and conservative democrat politicians vote for. This is what they want to happen when you get in a car crash.
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 11/07/2025
Look at my opposition party dawg
An Apple Watch notification of a text message saying “President Obama just issued a STERN WARNING for every American!”
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 26/06/2025
Sounds like you’ve had a visit from Dark gary
Amazon listing with two alternatives with a man wearing a hat. One is “Dark gary” and one is “Light Gary”.
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 21/06/2025
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 12/06/2025
Go off grid? Where would I get my meds, compression socks and corn removers?
Adrian Chiles
Am I just too fussy or too old? Either way I’m not cut out for a life in the wilderness
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 04/06/2025
A still image from a scene in the film The Other Guys where a character is told about the many things that happened in his car while it was missing, including a raccoon birth
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 03/06/2025
@worldbollardassoc.bsky.social this is the hidden strength of our greatest allies
A photograph of large steel bollards during installation. Under the surface, which will be poured with concrete, is a large steel I-beam running towards the building and pedestrians the bollards will protect, opposite from where a vehicle attack would occur. These friends aren't going anywhere lol
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 01/06/2025
I am a less fashion-aware guy. I value durability and lifetime of clothes, and layering / breathability as I run warm. In summer I typically wear crocs, cargo shorts, and a t shirt. Can you help me present myself better while keeping my core values? Thank you for your great writing. It helps me.
A screenshot of a $15 donation to an animal shelter
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 27/05/2025
@dril tweet

another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
8:27 PM · Feb 19, 2012
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 25/05/2025
Recently saw the Lilo and Stitch remake. Was surprised to see that none of the critiques of tourism from the original movie were in the remake. I wonder what changed
Lilo and stitch release date: June 16, 2002Aulani Disney Resort. Opened August 29, 2011
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 24/05/2025
Once again librarians are braver than the troops (rich lawyers)
A King County Library System branded card in English that says “Know your rights if you are asked about your immigration status” in front of a fact sheet from the National Immigration Law CenterA stylized guide called “What to do if ICE comes to your door” with the tips titled:
Do not open doors
Remain silent
Do not sign
Report the raid
Fight back (with community tips underneath, not violently)
Organize resources
By the Washington immigrant solidarity network. 1-844-724-3737
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 23/05/2025
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddNM...
Screenshot from the SNL sketch "Ted Brogan is Born", where Will Ferrell, a 37 year old man, is born from Rachel Dratch. Will is dripping in sputum and sauces and making a face like he's watching a rhinoceros eat a bowl of jello.
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 22/05/2025
Saw these on my way into work a couple days ago. When I left in the afternoon they’d been removed
Microsoft banner advertisement vandalized to read “MSFT KILLS KIDS”Microsoft banner advertisement vandalized to read “blood on your hands” and IOF (Israeli Occupation Force) runs on azure”
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 21/05/2025
Unfortunately 'ol pete only has eyes for the wealthy www.currentaffairs.org/news/2019/03...
Excerpt  from review of Pete Buttigieg's book by Current Affairs, linked above.

These are indeed some of the impressions you might get setting foot in the Square. But there’s another fact about the world outside the Harvard gates that is instantly apparent to most newcomers: It has long had a substantial population of homeless people. In fact, it’s a scene as grotesque as it is eclectic: Directly outside the Corinthian columns of the richest university on earth, people wrapped in dirty coats are begging for a buck or two from passing students. Most of the university population has trained themselves to ignore this sub-caste, to the point where they don’t even see them at all, and Buttigieg is no different. The closest he gets is reporting “a mix of postdocs, autodidact geniuses, and drifters” at the Au Bon Pain. He doesn’t mention seeing injustice.

Perhaps just an oversight, though every time I’ve passed through Harvard Square it has been my signature impression. But there was soon something even more disquieting. Talking about politics on campus, Buttigieg says:  

In April 2001, a student group called the Progressive Student Labor Movement took over the offices of the university’s president, demanding a living wage for Harvard janitors and food workers. That spring, a daily diversion on the way to class was to see which national figure—Cornel West or Ted Kennedy one day, John Kerry or Robert Reich another—had turned up in the Yard to encourage the protesters.

Striding past the protesters and the politicians addressing them, on my way to a “Pizza and Politics” session with a journalist like Matt Bai or a governor like Howard Dean, I did not guess that the students poised to have the greatest near-term impact were not the social justice warriors at the protests […] but a few mostly apolitical geeks who were quietly at work in Kirkland House [Zuckerberg et al.]
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 07/05/2025
lol someone at @barnesandnoble.com is in hot water. This is in Chrome and Opera
A broken website with a banner saying my internet explorer is out of datea less broken website saying my internet explorer is out of date
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 30/04/2025
actually I'd rather die
Title of an email from Google Gemini that reads "Help your children get ready to use Gemini Apps"
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 30/04/2025
Scene from the tv show parks and recreation with a spoiled failson politician saying “give me it” over and over
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 25/04/2025
warmed over biden 90's biden policies aside, pete can't be elected because every opposition ad will feature this image
A picture of 'mayor pete' buttigieg on the campaign trail eating a cinnamon roll in a way reminiscent of a mid-tier scavenger/predator mammal in the tundra biome
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 08/04/2025
A character from the tv sitcom 30 Rock saying "Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name."Another character from 30 Rock saying "That's Republican. We count those."
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 27/03/2025
I'm sure you felt pretty smart writing this, but
a hand-drawn image of someone crying and drooling with a tricycle growing out of their head
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 26/03/2025
Very special boy alert. I’m just shocked there isn’t a tow hitch sticking out another foot. Probably won’t fit in his driveway that way
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 16/02/2025
I make custom trophies for local sports teams. They’re cheap because I like meeting people in the community this way. Anyway this is my website that drives 100% of my sales
Screenshot of a plain website with text, a white background, and some pictures. Website advertises trophies and has an image of a trophy featuring lines and a trophy featuring hippos.
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 01/02/2025
And now for something a little different
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 28/01/2025
Hoping with enough print subscriptions we can get an investigative reporter on staff. Lots of pieces I’d love to see a deeper dive on, like why it won’t sto
Onion magazine advertisement reading “send us money until the throbbing subsides”
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Bicycles are humanity’s greatest triumph @sjavik.com · 26/01/2025
A picture of a bunny, followed by a social media post with the bunny as the avatar that says “bnuy”
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