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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Why are ladders so expensive in the UK? I used to have the requisite number of ladders in Turkey. Now all I have are some folding steps. Depressing.

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I really want to know what's written on that pece of paper

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Turks’ ability to park vehicles is unparalleled. They can park anything in any space. Mad skills. Kudos

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

I just read that Ian Watkins was stabbed to death. Oh well

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

There are some books you instinctively know are shit without ever reading them just by the people who crap on about them. Atlas Shrugged

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

It wasn't just racists who voted for Reform. Cunts did as well.

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

you'll never guess who this is (no cheating)

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

Have you ever noticed the gong in the left speaker at the end of Lola by the Kinks?

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 19/02/2026

Andrew.... hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 13/11/2025

Wanted to see Stewart Lee for years but he never played Istanbul, weirdly enough. Finally did last night and it was every bit as awesome as I hoped. A genius

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 17/10/2025

Half Man Half Biscuit. Great, but... Which half is man and which is biscuit? Split vertically or horizontally? Striated? A fade in? Or completely conglomerated so it's impossible to tell what's man and what's biscuit? And what kind of biscuit?

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 21/09/2025

What would you call a black sabbath-themed kebab shop?

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

This has to be a good time to pick up a cheap secondhand Tesla.

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Reposted by SimonWJohns

Another Green @anothergreen.bsky.social · 07/09/2025

Britain's rapid decarbonisation of electricity supply is a rare success story here. But virtually nobody talks about it and our shitty newspapers attack #NetZero everyday!

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

At last, Queen Mother of the Show is on Tighten Up with Simon & Leo Johns! www.apacikradyo.com.tr We talk about the recent end of the 1990s, heavy metal, the demise of the late night chat show and, ofc, King of the Show. 7pm, Istanbul time.

apacikradyo.com.tr

https://apacikradyo.com.tr/

Apaçık Radyo

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

Not only is Bertrand Cantat an absolute scumbag, Noir Desir is cravenly shit.

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 12/07/2025

Did I forget to mention it's Tighten Up with Simon & Leo Johns in 5 minutes on www.apacikradyo.com.tr?. Well it is! We talk about Gothism

apacikradyo.com.tr

https://apacikradyo.com.tr/

Apaçık Radyo

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 12/07/2025

Everyone can be bought. Everyone has their price. Mine is about £10, which by coincidence is enough to buy a twin pack of Jaffa Cakes and a four bottles of Timothy Taylor’s Landlord.

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

My son flatly refuses to believe that the phrase “can’t do something for toffee” is a real saying. Can I get a show of hands to prove I didn’t make it up?

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SimonWJohns @simonwjohns.bsky.social · 13/06/2025