iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

“Vegan hot ham water” goes kinda hard as a euphemism for tea.

shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Okay, Silver’s back in the black. I wish he could score brownie points by fucking over the Lakers from time to time, but I’m still glad he actually did something again.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

It’s fitting that Adam Silver has lost the last shred of goodwill he’s managed to accumulate by refusing to punish Steve Ballmer’s Clippers, because almost all that goodwill had been initially been built up by punishing the Clippers’ Donald Sterling’s.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

New Harry Potter fan-theory for you all to mull over: The reason that old timey wizards shat themselves instead of learning to use toilets is because the Dursleys had a Horcrux under their roof for over a decade.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

Everyone’s thinking it, but I’m the only one willing to say it: a Chinese finger trap is a turtleneck for the penis.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 20/04/2026

Armageddon/Deep Impact Antz/A Bug’s Life Coco/The Book of Life Frankenstein/The Bride! Project Hail Mary/The Mario Galaxy Movie

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

Little known pop-culture factoid to bring up at your next party to impress all the dames: Did you know Viggo Mortensen broke his toe when he kicked John Lennon’s wife?

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 05/04/2026

I take no joy in this, but if the White House is going to be this bad at pretending Trump is up and healthy, we the people will have no choice but to assume that he pooped himself to death.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

Streaming services should offer the option to replace the opening credits music of shows with the Deep Space 9 theme.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Jiminy Glick: Hello I’m Jiminy Glick! And I am just delighted to be sitting here with my good, good, GOOD friend… uhhh… Judson Ackles. Judson? Jensen Ackles: Hey, great to be here.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

I can’t say I’m surprised to learn that the pedophile industry is officially Too Big to Fail (TM), but I’m not happy about it either.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 28/12/2025

If you ran an extra long episode of Always Sunny through a Kevin Can F**k Himself filter, you’d end up with something really close to Marty Supreme. What an incredibly difficult film to sit through, but in a (mostly) hood way.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

Watching The Princess Bride this morning, and it’s really sad knowing that this was one of the last things Andre the Giant did before succumbing to TDS.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 14/12/2025

I don’t know why it’s called the Oedipal Complex. All dude did was kill his dad and fuck his mom. Sounds pretty simple to me.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 10/12/2025

Guy who’s knees bend the wrong way: I’m built different

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 09/12/2025

Social media is obviously awful for the mental health of children, but it’s also proving to be really bad for adults as well. That’s why I propose that no one should be allowed on Facebook or its ilk until they’re either 21 or dead, whichever comes last.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 30/11/2025

The entire final act of Sisu 2 felt like a Tarantino adaptation of the Sideshow Bob stepping on infinite rakes scene. Legitimately one of the funniest movies of the year.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 28/11/2025

Yeah, I’m the kind of person who likes to point out that John Lennon used to beat his wife at Mario Kart, and I won’t apologize for it.

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Reposted by shutupneff

Fio Fiorello @fiofiorello.bsky.social · 20/11/2025

inventing a fun new game where you get really wasted and put all your kitchen knives on the floor with the lights off. i call it Scary Floor

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 23/11/2025

After 12 years of marriage, @alovelygoblin.bsky.social still refuses to accept that I Can’t Stand Your Mother by Lucy Pearl is our song.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 17/11/2025

I say this as someone who is completely captivated by Mia Goth, but what the hell is even the appeal of Mia Goth?!

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

Hoo boy. The ending to Bugonia gave me goosebumps!

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

Glad to know 2025 has felt five years long to the people doing this to us as well. Small victories, I guess.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 27/09/2025

I went into One Battle After Another with high expectations and was still blown away by how good it was. Absolutely phenomenal.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 21/09/2025

My wife is finally starting to get into Deep Space 9, mainly by shit talking everyone who’s a bit suspicious or bitchy. It’s The Real Housewives of the Gamma Quadrant.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 23/07/2025

Eddington is the movie that Three Billboards and the bad Crash were trying to be. It turns out the missing ingredient was turning into a fever dream guest starring the Woke Illuminati.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

Chaka Khan and Stevie Nicks should’ve made a collaboration album together after they both went solo. It would’ve given Lauryn Hill more songs to cover.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 09/07/2025

Finally saw Lisa Frankenstein, and I gotta say, having your moral be, “If a girl explicitly tells you that she doesn’t want to be with you romantically, just commit a bunch of murders and genital mutilation until she realizes she loves you,” feels kinda out of place for a Diablo Cody movie.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 14/06/2025

Do you think Sam Beckett ever Quantum Leaped into someone’s body while they really had to piss and was completely unprepared for how tightly he would have to flex every pelvic muscle?

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

My impersonation of my wife, if she had a pain kink: “I don’t need a MAN. I have my FIBROMYALGIA!”

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but believing that a sports game is fixed because the officiating was imperfect requires the same number of Hitler Particles as believing that public schools are transing children.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 10/04/2025

If Trump had lost in 2024, he would have died in prison, but gone down in history as the man who would’ve solved all our problems if only we’d let him. His cult would have grown into a massive religion within a few generations. Instead he won, and will be remembered as Business Hitler. The Bizzler.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 08/04/2025

Today at work, I saw a dog bite another dog on the penis.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

I do not believe that Elon stole the election for Trump. It’s not completely outside the realm of possibility that he managed to pay someone enough to do it for him, but I’d put that at well below 50% likelihood. But I’m convinced that TRUMP BELIEVES that Elon stole it for him.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

I think Jesus is asking if I want to see his dick?

My last skeet: (Me, whenever my wife wants the smallest favor from me) Online atheists were right to turn against feminism.

Reply from some Christi-fascist named CHRIST WARRIOR): Please repent!!!! Atheism is just delusion and doesn’t exist in reality. Need me to show you this?

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

(Me, whenever my wife wants the smallest favor from me) Online atheists were right to turn against feminism.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

Paddington in Peru is a fantastic and thoroughly enjoyable film, while also being the weakest film of the trilogy by a comfortable margin.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

I’m gonna be so pissed if San Antonio gets Cooper Flagg…

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

Trump is your favorite real doll’s favorite president.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

It seems a clear conflict of interest that the substance I’m using to help my sore wrist is the same substance that I injured my wrist slipping on. I’M SUBJECT TO THE WHIMS OF BIG ICE!!!

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

We’re fast approaching the day where the Sentinelese people start having to fight off outside visitors who just to get away from everything and live with them .

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

I really wish we’d known about Justin Tucker’s shit a year ago so I could really enjoy watching him struggle on the field this year. Instead I had to make do with convincing myself that Harrison Butler’s kicks that barely snuck inside the uprights were worth celebrating.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 01/02/2025

The movie Companion is what M3gan could’ve been if it’d had the ova to make the crazed murder-bot the hero. Great film.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 27/01/2025

Why doesn’t the NFL have the Bills and Chiefs play the AFC championship game every week? Are they stupid?

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Why can we all accept that the winner of the NCAA tournament isn’t necessarily the best team, but is just the team that survived a single-elimination tournament, but we can’t apply that same reasoning to the NFL playoffs? Even I’m not immune to this, and I realized how ridiculous this is years ago.

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shutupneff @shutupneff.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Is there a term for the social media phenomenon of getting teased a big news story by seeing people’s riffing on it before scrolling far enough down to get to the news itself? Anyway, David Lynch was apparently so beloved that I’ve been stuck in the tease part of that system for quite a while now.

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