Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I need a bad bitch to put light bulbs up my ass until I get an idea. 010
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Do you guys think Mike will let me borrow some of his Ike's? 020
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 27/09/20263 years ago, the worst photo of me ever was taken. May I present me going absolutely fucking goblin mode, getting my WaWa delivery. 110
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I got a procedure on my arm and the scar is healing like a vagina on my arm and I keep calling it my armpussy 120
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Every night I subject myself to The Weepening. Where I watch 1 - 5 episodes of Grey's Anatomy. On tonight's Weepening, I'm weeping. 000
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 10/09/2026The blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the PUSSY 000
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 08/09/2026I will never spell rythem correctly don't fucking ask me to. 030
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 07/09/2026My mommy went to Costco and bought me a 64 box of rice Krispy treats like I'm gonna handle this responsibly. 041
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 05/09/2026I thought I'd be at this job forever and now I gotta leave because they fired the baddest bitch to ever walk those halls, the closest person I ever met to Claire Redfield, and I simply can't forgive this. 000
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Now I gotta put my shlong on the god damn hot dog roller machine and make sure all the pipes are flowing just kill me dawg 010
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 26/08/2026I'm just gonna eat thr Argentinian beef and end my shit 110
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 21/08/2026It's always "let's play Halo" and never "let's play kisskiss" 😒 000
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 16/08/2026Bout to let this lady Shonda ruin the rest of my night ill keep you updated. 010
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Does anybody have a delicious cornbread that I might nibble upon? 010
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Can someone come tell me what to do with this tossed salad and scrambled eggs? 010
Shortarida @shortarida.bsky.social · 11/08/2026I was told to eat oatmeal because its good for your heart but its just like cummy cereal???? 020
