Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 14/07/2026It has been long I’ve been on here but this FIFA World Cup has been amazing so far and I’m not really a fan of soccer 020
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 11/03/2026Now, what’s the bad news?” The lawyer sighed, “The photo is of you and your secretary” 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 11/03/2026A lawyer called his wealthy client, Tom, “I have some good news and some bad news” Tom said, “Give me the good news first” The lawyer replied, “I met with your wife today. She invested $1500 in a photo that she thinks will bring in at least $20 million” John was thrilled!! “My wife is a genius! 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 10/03/2026Relief, and asked the parrot, "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "Same idiot who named those two Rottweilers Jesus and Mary." 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 10/03/2026Again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus and Mary are watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of.. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 10/03/2026One night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. Tiptoeing through the living room he suddenly froze when he heard a loud voice say:"Jesus and Mary are watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again "Jesus and Mary are watching you," the voice boomed 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 09/03/2026Naming my son Gotham, so when he cries at night my husband can whisper “Gotham needs you”media.tenor.coma man in a black suit is sitting in a chair and pointing at somethingALT: a man in a black suit is sitting in a chair and pointing at something 010
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 09/03/2026Prostitute. It’s going to be $100 for my service.” The man wasn’t surprised. He smiled and handed over the money. They both sat there awkwardly. The woman says, “We can head back now.” The man replies, “I’m a taxi driver, and it’s going to be $150 for the ride here and back.” 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 09/03/2026The town’s edge and stops at a cliff with a view of the whole city. Within seconds, they both start slowly taking their clothes off. The session ends after 15 minutes of the most amazing s€x. They put their clothes on and just sit there awkwardly. The woman speaks up and says, “You know I’m a……. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 09/03/2026A man was smoking outside a bar when a beautiful woman in a miniskirt and high heels approaches him. The woman asks the man, How would you like to get out of here?” The man is stunned! No woman has ever approached him, so he quickly agrees, and they get into his car. He drives them out to….. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 06/03/2026Seriousness, Billy replied: “Because… it works for ketchup.” 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 06/03/2026Himself on the head with the other. Puzzled, his mother asked, “Billy, are you okay? You’ve been in here forever!” Billy looked up and said, “I’m fine, Mommy… I just haven’t gone ‘doody’ yet.” She frowned. “Alright, but why on earth are you hitting yourself on the head?” With perfect… 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 06/03/2026A three-year-old boy had been sitting on the toilet for quite a while. Concerned, his mother peeked in to check on him. There he was, perched on the seat with a book in his hands — reading calmly. But every ten seconds, he would put the book down, grip the toilet seat with one hand, and smack…. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 06/03/2026A-a-and s-s-say 'H-Hel- Hello, M-m-maaaaddam, d-d-do you w-w- want t-t-t-to buy thi-thi-this B-B- Bible, oooor d-d-do y-you w-w-want m'me t-toooo read it t-t-t-t-to you?????? 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 06/03/2026The man came back in two hours and said, "Her-ers y-yooour m-m-money." The owner said, "This is fantastic. You sold more Bibles in three hours than anyone has sold in a week. Tell me, what do you say to the people when they come to the door?" "W-welllll," said the man, "I r-r-ring the d-door bell, 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 06/03/2026 Re-really neeeed thi- thi-this j-j-job!" said the man. "O.K. Here are three Bibles. Go out and sell them," said the owner. So the man went out and came back an hour later. "H-here-sss your m-m- money," said the man. The owner was impressed, so he gave the man a dozen more Bibles and sent him out 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 06/03/2026A man came into a shop with a 'Salesman Wanted' sign in a window... He went up to the owner and said, "I- I-I w-w-waannn-t the j-joooob-b." . "I don't know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment," said the owner. "I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s- six k-kkkids, iiii-I 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 05/03/2026About the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was crying and wasn't drunk. About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same bar, and one said to the other. "Look Bubba, that's the jerk who climbed into the car while we were pushing." 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 05/03/2026The window and moved the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time before a curve. The guy gathered strength, got out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he ran into a bar and asked for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 05/03/2026In the car and closed the door to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The car started slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Scared, he started praying, and begged for his life. He hadn't come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 05/03/2026A man stood on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. As the night went by no cars passed him. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car come towards him and stop.. The guy, without thinking about it got.. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 05/03/2026A grandson overheard his Pawpaw ask his Granny, “Are you cheating on me?” Granny, “Yep, with 6 different men” Pawpaw demands to know, “After 50 years, who are they?” Granny grinned, “Jerry Tall, Ben Gay, Arthur Ritis, Mayor Lox, Tyler Noll, and Dr. Scholls” 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 05/03/2026At the next service, the rabbi is very curious to learn whether his advice panned out. He waits for the man by the doors of the synagogue, and asks him, "So, did it work?" "Like a charm," the man answers. "The moment we got to 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' I remembered where I left my bike!" 010
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 05/03/2026come to services, sit in the front row, and when we recite the Ten Commandments, turn around and look at the people behind you. And when we get to 'Thou shalt not steal,' see who can't look you in the eyes, and that's your guy." The rabbi is very pleased with his suggestion, and so is the man…. 110
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 05/03/2026A guy gets his bike stolen from synagogue... He goes to see his rabbi one day and says, "Rabbi, you won't believe what happened to me! Last week, someone stole my bicycle from the synagogue!" The rabbi is deeply upset by this, but after thinking for a moment, he offers a solution: "Next week…. 120
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 04/03/2026A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Caesar walk into a bar. He came, he saw, he conquered 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 04/03/2026I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box! The man replied, Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in! 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 04/03/2026to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box! The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying….. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 04/03/2026A man went into the confessional and said to his priest. I almost had an affair with another woman. The priest said, What do you mean, almost? The man said, Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped! The priest said, Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not.. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 03/03/2026whispering to me, “You look great in that dress. You should buy it.” "Well, the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, Get behind me, Satan!” "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said “It looks great from back here, too!” 🤣😂 010
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 03/03/2026The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $300 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," she replied, “I was standing in the store looking at the dress and then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was…… 110
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 03/03/2026At his funeral, the line of men in suits went out the door. One man came up to me and said, "Your dad gave me a 'test cut' in 1994. I got the job. I’ve been wearing a suit ever since. I just wanted to say thank you." My dad wasn't just cutting hair. He was pruning away despair. 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 03/03/2026for this haircut, he can't buy the bus ticket to get to the interview." "But how do you decide who gets it for free?" I asked. "I don't," he said. "I just tell them my 'clippers are acting up' and I can't charge for a 'test cut.' It lets them keep their pride." My dad passed away last year…. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 03/03/2026Anonymous My dad was a barber. He had a small shop with three chairs. When I was a kid, I noticed he’d sometimes "forget" to charge certain men who came in. I asked him why once. "See that man?" he whispered. "He’s got a job interview tomorrow. He’s been out of work for six months. If he pays….. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 02/03/2026“Don’t worry sonny, I will… her husband gets home by 11.” 😳 WHAT?! 🤯 I laughed so hard I nearly fell over as they giggled and walked away. 😂 Moral: Don't underestimate the wit of the older generation - they’re sharper than you think! 👏🤣 010
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 02/03/2026An elderly couple walked past me holding hands, and as they did, I jokingly called out to the gentleman, “Make sure you have her home by 10,” with a smile and a wink. 😉 The old man stopped dead in his tracks, looked me dead in the eye, and without missing a beat said with a grin….. 100
Reposted by Sarah 🦋 💕Joesferatu @makeitunclear.bsky.social · 02/03/2026love getting "offers" from banks and credit card companies like "we'll give you $15 if you help us put all your friends and family in crushing debt. wouldn't you love $15? you little worm. $15 to buy more fetid mud to squirm around in? could your little worm friends ever offer you $15?" 041
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 02/03/2026the shoulders, looks straight at the drunks eyes and says, “Grandpa, go home, you’re drunk!” 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 02/03/2026let me tell you, she’s the best I’ve ever had.” The biker’s buddies are now visibly angry but the biker still remain silent. The drunk leans in one last time and says, “ I’ll tell you something else, boy, your grandma, she liked it.” At this point, the biker stands up, grabs the drunk by…. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 02/03/2026the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is one-fine looking woman. The biker just stares at him without saying a word. His friends are confused because this biker has a reputation for fighting at a drop of a hat. The drunk leans on a table again and says again, “ I got it on with your grandma, and……. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 02/03/2026A drunk man walks into a Hell’s Angels biker bar, sits down and orders a drink. Looking around, he notices three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers over, leans in and look at the biggest, meanest biker in the face , saying “ I went by your grandma’s house today and I saw her on….. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 01/03/2026I put the extra money into a fund for other tenants who struggle. A roof over someone’s head is a business. Keeping a roof over their head when they’re drowning? That’s a duty. Anonymous 000
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 01/03/2026” He started to cry. “And,” I added, “I’ve got an extra sofa in storage. And a table. Let’s get this place looking like a home again.” That was three years ago. His wife recovered. He’s back on his feet. He insists on paying me double rent now to "pay back the debt." 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 01/03/2026he said, looking down. “My wife got sick. The medication… I sold everything. I’ll leave today.” I looked at the empty room. I went to my truck. I grabbed my tools. “I’m not kicking you out,” I said. “But I am raising the rent.” He looked terrified. “I’m raising it to $0 for the next six months. 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 01/03/2026I’m a landlord. It’s a tough business. I had a tenant, Mr Alvarez. Never late on rent for 5 years. Then, the checks stopped. I went to his apartment. He didn’t open the door. I used my key. The apartment was empty. No furniture. Just a mattress on the floor and Mr Alvarez sitting on it. “I’m sorry,” 100
Sarah 🦋 💕 @sarahshaw.bsky.social · 25/02/2026Might become the first dog to land on the moon, Woof Pawstrong 000
