iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

The stress of poverty is a constant, attritional grind. Pushing you further and further away from financial autonomy. Your choices are fewer. Your world smaller. The pace is barely perecptible. Almost glacial. Then one day you turn around and you're permanently isolated and unemployable.

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a skill it's impossible to monetise? must be one of sam's

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Money can never resolve the core of a mental health problem, but what it gives you is the time, freedom, and security to address one. Money allows you to prioritise yourself and access the best help available for you immediately. It's no panacea, but it gives you the best chance.

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Of course wealth does not prevent mental health problems, but poverty exacerbates them. Whatever that original, and potentially solvable, problem was gets rapidly buried beneath a pile of bills, reminders, and demands. Mental illness - no job - poverty - mental illness. It's a death spiral.

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I've done this one before, but since I was set up for the tap in

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Pain Lethargy Abscesses Gland swelling Unconsciousness Expiration Mnemonic plague

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I can't even recall the subject he was enthusiastically monologuing about, but I LITERALLY had to ask to be left to have a shit in peace.

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Cases treated by a doctor not his own personal reiki master

It's always "you have ADHD" never "thank you, your special interest in infectious diseases was useful that one time"

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Even with pneumonic plague, as in this case, which is the deadlier form.

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✨💞𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 90% 𝓸𝓯 𝓷𝓸𝓷-𝓼𝓮𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓬 𝓟𝓵𝓪𝓰𝓾𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓼𝓮𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓿𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓫𝓲𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓼💞✨

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Also, you can't put a price on precious time spent with loved ones, but today it was £48. Which I both cannot afford to spend and also cannot afford not to. Big bruiser of a left hook from general anxiety. Little jab, jab, jabs of £48.

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Defo. I think it's fear that I'll feel dreadful while doing the things. Which CBT can't help me with because it's a valid fear and often happens. That's not a thinking error. What can they say beyond "get over it"?

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"So what ARE you afraid of?" "I guess that I'll spend what should be the most precious or productive moments of my life filled with a directionless anxiety and trying not to be sick on my shoes."

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Maybe CBT is only meant for the people with BIG and IRRATIONAL anxiety. The people who are afraid they'll take one step out of their front door and get killed by a lorry. I fear no lorry. Come at me, bitch.

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It was quiet, to be fair. Wouldn't have mattered either way, though. I'd still have been anxious and extra rough from Jo kip.

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Haha. The actor did end up being replaced!!"

I think this is my worry with CBT. What if I keep doing these things and they are much as I expected? Is it ok for me to spend these precious times nauseated, fearful, and drained so long as I mask it well enough? Maybe I'm just too deep "in it" to have any perspective right now.

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I do love a bit of bed

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Am I meant to feel triumphant when I manage these things? Coz I usually just feel like I've been kicked in the head by a horse.

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Thank you. I really appreciate you saying that xx

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Not the ones I'm thinking of. Slightly, portly "respectable" RP white men, but not enough swagger for it to be The City.

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Not if you're there with someone else's kid, anyway. If i eere with my own kid, I'd be asking Ms. Apple's stance on Churchill's role in the Bengal famine.

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I've never missed seeing him when we've had it arranged, and of course, I would go through anything for him. But when I'm having a tough time like these past few months, it just leaves me so broken and drained.

And you can't bring that up in a "mummy chatter at the play session" context. When someone says their kid prefers Ms Apple, you can't interrogate her politics.

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I don't think I had any idea how massive Ms Rachel is, given I'm only aware of her because of her principled stance on Gaza.

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We went to a proper free range outdoor play thing up near Ainsdale. It had a compost toilet and no running water to wash your hands. That's how ethical it was.

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Landed back in bed. Made it, which is the main thing. I'm just a bit overwrought with the relentlessness of the anxiety at the minute.

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Sam Whyte @samwhyte.bsky.social · 16h

I never know if they were buying in bulk or if they started by ordering, maybe, 3 and ended up getting more in once they got started.

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I've heard this. I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but it was just quite ... intuitive stuff without practical solutions as far as I could see?

Sam Whyte @samwhyte.bsky.social · 17h

Indeed. I have many thoughts about the way they work. It would be so much energy for nothing back.

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Sam Whyte @samwhyte.bsky.social · 17h

I did CBT years ago, and the therapist was great, but it's just not the therapy for me.

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Sam Whyte @samwhyte.bsky.social · 17h

My GP suggested trauma therapy as reprocessing all that stuff would mean I wasn't constantly getting triggered and panicking. But, having had a look to see if how they work has changed, it seems its the same as ever, and they'd want you to exhaust all the peer support & computer led CBT stuff.

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So, I guess I'll just keep doing workbooks until I strike gold with one 💪💪

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The long and short of it that I need to be doing *something* not nothing to address the situation. All talking therapies are provided by an org I know well through work; I just disagree with their whole model. I wouldn't signpost a client to them, so why would I expose myself, right?

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I seldom edit photos,but I turned the saturation up to make it "happier"

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James Morton @glesga-grognard.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Put on a happy face for you all to lighten the mood, and, my God, I need botox last year.

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Reposted by Sam Whyte

The two ronnies, in one of their classic sketches. Comedy gold.

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Sam Whyte @samwhyte.bsky.social · 19h

I think it's that I accept I could've been smarter even though their behaviour was indefensible. But also, its a kinda immaterial. What I want know is how to move forward now. How to practically start getting my life back.