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Sam Vance

@samvance.bsky.social
154 followers 99 following 1.2K posts

I look like a giant 12 year old… or an adult who can’t legally live on his own. Uber Driver. OSU alum. Knowledge of food science & food safety… & sarcasm.

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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Ms. Teschmacher
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Guys, I just got an important text from Amy Acton…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 10/02/2026
Dinner, I guess. Just a couple potatoes, a large jalapeño & a couple thighs.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
Uber has been surging all day & I could’ve been doing $15 2 mile rides around campus all day, but no, I had to be responsible…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
Snow!
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
Ms. Teschmacher keeping my seat warm.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 03/11/2025
Ms. Teschmacher in the fall
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
No cheating. Your last saved celebrity photo is your therapist. Who is it? What a nightmare…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
DRAMA… Jeni of Jeni’s Ice Cream is claiming that NYT posted nearly her exact James Beard awarded recipe without crediting her after repeatedly trashing it or preferring custard based recipes. She seems unhappy about this…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
My 1st job was at KFC in Hillsboro in 1996 after my dumb drunk ‘friends’ talked me into applying to work there, where they also worked. This was peak KFC. They had the buffet, tender roast chicken & they called the chicken tenders, Crispy Strips, as they should be.
Hillsboro, Ohio KFC in August, 25, 1996. It was Bagshaw Enterprises 25th anniversary. I’m wearing blue work pants, a red KFC polo shirt & a red hat. 

I’m standing in front of the buffet that I was in charge of, while holding a white balloon & shaking the hand of Colonel Baxter, a former franchisee who knew Colonel Sanders & made appearances dressed as him after he died.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 25/05/2025
@c0nc0rdance.bsky.social ??
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 19/05/2025
This is peak cat… Ms. Teschmacher
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
@steveshives.bsky.social One of my Uber passengers tonight. Don’t tell Chief O’Brien!
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 05/05/2025
Hot take: The White House Twitter account is creating propaganda explicitly for teenage boys…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
lmao, I’m so old…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 23/04/2025
Made a charcuterie of sorts… Turkey & Swiss roll ups Leftover chorizo, cut up with a dull pairing knife Colby cheese(my favorite) 2 soft boiled eggs with perfectly jelly yolks finished with salt & fresh cracked black pepper
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
@thecatleesi.bsky.social Mo made carrot cake cookie sandwiches Taste 8 Texture 5
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
Sean Spicer was the bunny…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
Ms. Teschmacher’s blanket is finally out of the dryer & nice & clean for at least the next 20 minutes…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
Floors cleaned & all laundry in the dryer, including the kitty cat’s blanket & my microfibers for cleaning my Uber ride. The sudden burst of productivity feels nice. Happy Ham Day
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
I’ve never done this before, but I interrupted my long day of driving to come home & shave/shower. I’m now super fresh, so if you get me as your driver tonight in Columbus… compliments are free! Pardon the hair, I’m overdue for a cut. Also, here’s a picture of Ms. Teschmacher for #caturday
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 04/04/2025
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 04/04/2025
Brief break at home before heading back out. Ms. Teschmacher is making me tired just looking at her…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
Ohio: Will today’s high temperature be higher than tomorrow’s low temperature?
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
Last night, I accepted a terrible, long ride I had no business accepting. 132 miles & over 2 hrs for $82 I felt guilty about canceling & also, figured there might be a good tip… Those hopes evaporated when I pulled up to the Speedway gas station to see a disheveled man waiting by the road…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 19/03/2025
I didn’t realize men were this stupid… Yes, women have body hair. Legs, genitals, underarms, happy trails, upper lips…ass. The last thing I’m gonna do if I ever have a woman as beautiful as her reveal her bare back to me up close… is complain.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 16/03/2025
Ms. Teschmacher made herself a little blanket cave 🥹
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
Hero bread. Mayo. Hot Mister Mustard. Generous portion of turkey. Pepper Jack Cheese. Fried egg. + a handful of Giant Eagle kettle cooked potato chips.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
I booted Ms. Teschmacher from my chair, so she settled for the catbird seat on the arm.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 08/03/2025
When it’s sunny in Columbus… It’s every car wash. You just have to get in line & wait. Most of these ppl are just driving home & parking their cars. I actually need a clean car before I drive Uber…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 04/03/2025
This country is still worth saving…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 27/02/2025
Look at this… At first glance, it looks like I took part of a folded blanket & unfolded the corner to make it look like a turned down bed. The cat did this herself. I don’t know why Ms. Teschmacher does this, but I thought I’d finally document it.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
According to Musk’s own AI, Grok, Tesla stock is projected to drop another $60/share
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 23/02/2025
Coming along nicely… please ignore my Chitty Chitty Bang Bang of a bed.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 23/02/2025
Meanwhile on Twitter: It’s just Adam Carolla quote tweeting someone that is obviously race-baiting.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
Every time I take a selfie, I’m like, ‘Who the hell am I looking at?’
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 18/02/2025
The population in Columbus is much larger now, but accept for Red, White & Boom, I have never seen that much foot traffic downtown & I’m downtown almost daily when driving.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 15/02/2025
Ms. Teschmacher & I just hanging out on #caturday
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 15/02/2025
Classy
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 14/02/2025
I’m several years older than this man…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 09/02/2025
Ms. Teschmacher. Bed loaf.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 06/02/2025
I bought a 9lb pork shoulder & it forced me to clean my kitchen to clear counter space for my slow cooker, which I also had to clean, in order to get this massive pork shoulder in & aggressively season & cook on low. So I might have delicious pulled pork at 2am.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 05/02/2025
Few things actually make me smile anymore except for Ms. Teschmacher perched on the couch, just relaxing.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 04/02/2025
I finally clean my apt floors as well as Ms. Teschmacher’s blanket & what does she do? Falls asleep on the top of the couch…
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
Tired & sore for some reason, but at least I can complain about it.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
Look how sleepy Ms. Teschmacher is…🥺 Ignore her dirty blanket. It looked like that just 1 day after washing it.
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Sam Vance @samvance.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
I finally ate solid food for the 1st time since Saturday night and now I’m relaxing at home with the Ms.
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