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samury (pronounced samurai)

@samury.com
226 followers 545 following 431 posts

The Internet's 1,087,452nd most famous Ryan he/him/they/them

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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 13/10/2026
So when a tiktokker does it, it's the book-tok growl. When I do it, it's sleep apnea.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 13/10/2026
[Action Required] I Love you
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 08/10/2026
Me: I like Digger! Other people: Cool, I'll watch it then. Me: Oh no...
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 06/10/2026
If you early vote, there should be a thing that notifies the post office so they can stop sending you mailers. I bet more people would early vote.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 25/09/2026
No fucking way #primetime
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 24/09/2026
Rockstar including a spoon in the GTAVI collector's edition is so fucking funny
drug spoon
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 24/09/2026
Happy Primetime Day! Who has a big night planned? This guy!
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 21/09/2026
Whenever someone tells something I don’t like today.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 18/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Burger King Whopper: Fresh & Classic
ALT: Burger King Whopper: Fresh & Classic
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 18/09/2026
Resident Evil fucking ripped. That is all.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 16/09/2026
Some NPC at work using AI to deal with team conflict: Hey chat, be my devil's advocate. Me at work using my knowledge of media to deal with team conflict:
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 09/09/2026
iPhone Duo? More like iPhone Duodenum cuz that phone is gonna be ass.
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ADHD Memes @adhdforreal.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 08/09/2026
My feed is all "Wet Zelda this" and "Wet Zelda that". I thought we got a new Wind Waker.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 03/09/2026
#gtavi
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Ghostdog Millionaire 🇿🇦/sa @projectauuman.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Artist: DocksEcky
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kate bush’s husband @airbagged.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
RIP TO ONE OF THE GREATEST TO EVER DO IT
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 25/08/2026
I just learned jellyfish larvae is called sea lice and my day is ruined.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 25/08/2026
Guacamole contains avocado, tomatoes, limes, and chilis. All of them are fruit. Guacamole is a fruit salad.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 20/08/2026
Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma should be required viewing
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 19/08/2026
It just hits different
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 18/08/2026
What a weird way to say "human capital."
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 18/08/2026
Crunchyroll? More like Soggyroll! Am I right?
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 03/08/2026
Me realizing I’m watch five Robert Pattinson movies this year.
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Shady Inference 🌫️ @blot.city · 20/07/2026
venn diagram meme, three circles

1. no kink at pride
2. the curtains were fucking blue
3. I asked chatgpt and here's what it said:

1-2 intersection: sex scenes in movies are pointless
2-3 intersection: oh you think you're better than me?
3-1 intersection: "degeneracy" is just zoomer slang

centre intersection: upcoming reactionary movement

caption: developments under capital in 2026
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 20/07/2026
Top things you missed in the trailer YouTubers must be going hard right now.
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Will Bunch @willbunch.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
ICE desperately wants you not to care about this story But we must. The killing of Lorenzo Salgado Araujo, a Mexican national striving for his American Dream, is a moral outrage, and a warning. ICE hopes you won't notice that mass deportation is back My new column www.inquirer.com/opinion/ice-...
inquirer.com
ICE killed Lorenzo Salgado Araujo. They want you to be apathetic. Don’t be. | Will Bunch
Salgado came from Mexico, built the American Dream, sent his sons to college, and was senselessly killed by ICE.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 09/07/2026
NEW BLOG POST: Sony discontinues production of all physical forms and will move to an all non-corporeal existence. www.samury.com/sony-discont...
samury.com
Sony Discontinues Physical Form
Following the announcement that it will shift away from physical discs in favor of digital media, Sony announced it will altogether move towards a non-corporeal existence, shedding all physicality by ...
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 09/07/2026
Watching the new Ghost in the Shell.
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jessica BONEStown @newfoundgloryhole.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
THE ACKROOMS
Cathy in the backrooms
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 02/07/2026
IIRC, you get his callsign too
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 02/07/2026
Can we delay deliveries due to inclement weather during this heatwave? I think I'll be okay not getting my USB-C cords for another few day.
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Tom O @vgtomo.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 01/07/2026
Is this the "please clap" tie?!
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 30/06/2026
Hitman and 007: First Light are unc games. James Bond is an unc genre
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The Onion @theonion.com · 30/06/2026
Report: That’s Enough Soccer For Now theonion.com/report-thats-enough-so…
Report: That’s Enough Soccer For Now
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 30/06/2026
Game is so good, but dang, I shouldn't play it on my big 27 in monitor.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 30/06/2026
Back in my day, this was the internet
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 29/06/2026
We're this close to the Corpo Wars.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 29/06/2026
If you can't finish it, they yell "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" and kick you out
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 29/06/2026
Microsoft execs sitting at their desks asking Copilot, "are we cooked?"
kotaku.com
Xbox Pre-Order Sales For GTA 6 Break Records Despite PS5 Blitz
Microsoft says Xbox pre-order sales have broken records
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 28/06/2026
My problem with digital necromancy or my break up letter with RGG www.samury.com/dont-speak-f...
samury.com
Don't Speak for the Dead or My Breakup Letter to RGG
Me wrestling with digital necromancy.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 24/06/2026
My friends and I looked up how much we paid for memory. It was a depressing venture.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 23/06/2026
Remember the reason for the season. #PrimeDay
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 19/06/2026
#obsession
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 18/06/2026
@junlper.beer Are y'all gonna have to read this for Kill the Computer? www.harpercollins.com/pages/themos...
harpercollins.com
The Most Dangerous Games by MrBeast & James Patterson
THE BOOK EVENT OF THE YEAR: An unprecedented blockbuster collaboration between MrBeast, the world’s #1 creator with more than a billion followers, and James Patterson, the world’s #1 bestselling autho...
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 16/06/2026
This is our default James Bond now.
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 09/06/2026
*flash of light and a portal opens. A time traveler from 1996 comes out* "Tell me! What video games are coming out this year!" Me: "Star Fox and Ocarina of Time" Time traveler: "NoooooooO"
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samury (pronounced samurai) @samury.com · 08/06/2026
did chatgpt tell him this?
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kate bush’s husband @airbagged.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Been laughing at this for 45 minutes straight
Smash JT *
@SmashJT
X.com
This is unnecessary and intentionally signaling
Trans.
They know what they're doing.
Once you notice bisexual lighting being used, you can not unsee it. This is intentional.
I will not be gaslit.
HALO
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