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@ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social
542 followers 2.1K following 6.8K posts

my mom says i’m handsome. you’re probably gonna see my dogs a lot. kansas jayhawks. kansas city: chiefs, current, royals, sporting. don’t forget to add alt text. header: photo of the Kansas City skyline, lightning bolts striking behind it.

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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 19h
Q.E.D. The sauce is so good, but perhaps more garlicky than most might prefer.
Yet another superb homemade pizza from scratch made by the author: pepperoni and jalapeno.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Tonight, we celebrate.
Bottle of Perseval-Farge champagne next to a glass of said champagne and the cork on the table in front of the two.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Happy Red Friday, y'all.
Bottle of 2012 Gallica Napa Valley cabernet sauvignon atop a book of New Yorker cartoons, all underneath a red light.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Coach Tommy Lowtax?
Tweet from Senator Tuberville:

I know the deranged Democrats don't like the fact that I called out the insane FURRY CULTURE this week.

But the truth is, there is an ALARMING number of these DERANGED people working in our airline industry.

Don't believe me? Just a few months ago, PILOTS were MEOWING and BARKING at each other over the radio at DCA.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Goooo SWA139, you can make it!
Weather radar showing thunderstorms northwest of Kansas City metro areaIsolated ADS-B radar screenshot of a lone Southwest Airlines flight flying northeast of the storm in the previous screenshot and circling back towards Kansas City
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Roy approves.
Roy Williams wearing a KU sticker during March Madness in 2008 after his Tar Heels got mollywhopped by the Jayhawks in the semifinals.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Megamind peephole meme with text that says "No Bix?"
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Wow Ryan, what’s your skincare secret? Me, trying to go to bed:
Alice the white pitbull pinning the author and mercilessly licking his face
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
*I lean over to my date next to me, whispering* That’s Constantine.
Photo of scene from Constantine leaning over a demon possessing a girl and whispering “This is Constantine”
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Saturday morning parkour, Formula 1 qualifying, and EPL men's soccer.
Photo of Alice the white pitbull leaping over the back of a couch behind a laptop screen showing multiview of 4 EPL matches and Formula 1 qualifying on the television behind her.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Megamind meme with "No Olimpico?" text
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Fuck this shit.
NWS page showing five days of extreme heat warnings (at least 97+ degree highs each day) from Friday to Monday night. The forecast itself says extreme heat warning until Tuesday 8:00pm.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Godgnol. Too hot outside so we’re reading all the tombstones in the Reithwin Graveyard.
Alice the white pitbull stretched out on her back on the floor in front of a entertainment center with a tv, speakers and a PS5 on and  Baldur’s Gate 3 on the tv.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
QED
A bottle of 2020 Thymiopoulos Terra Petra Rapsani red wine blend next to an almost-empty 1000mL Pyrex Erlenmeyer flask with contents of said bottle.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I need more wine-drinking friends.
Bottle of 2010 Marston Family Vineyards cabernet sauvignon next to a Pyrex 1000mL Erlenmeyer flask with contents of said bottle. Cork rests between the two, still on the waiter's corkscrew.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
When mom says the pizza rolls won't be ready for another 5 minutes
Bearded man dressed in a suit sitting on an elegant divan with his arms crossed and a look of consternation on his face.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Dingahs. Straight dingahs.
Bobby Witt, Jr. smashing a home run in the bottom of the second inning, August 17, 2026.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Salvy, baby.
Photo of Salvador Perez swinging low for a bloop single to drive in two runs in the first inning at Kaufmann Stadium, August 17, 2026
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
My arm is a tribute to the artist who did the cover of my favorite book (Our Universe) along with my favorite National Geographic issue (April 1997) growing up.
Fresh forearm tattoo of a spaceship designed by John BerkeyHealed full arm sleeve tattoo of John Berkey spaceship on forearm and the Pillars of Creation on the upper arm with cosmic space around both
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Do you even know where you are, you goddamn goofy fucking machine
Screenshot of roomba app showing a roomba that has been actively vacuuming for 10 hours and 34 minutes
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
20 years is as good a time as any.
Bottle of 2006 Cain Five next to 1000ml Pyrex Erlenmeyer flask containing contents of said bottle, and an ah-so wine opener in front of it.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Edge Hill? More like Goon Mound.
Contents of a 2013 Edge Hill Abel 1833 bottle of wine in a Pyrex decanter next to the empty bottle.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Alice told me y’all didn’t hydrate today. Drink ya waters!
Alice the white pitbull whispering sweet(?) nothings in my ear as The Author lies in bed, skeptically looking at the camera waiting to fall asleep.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Peer pressure is a motherfucker. Let’s celebrate.
A bottle of non-vintage Albert Lebrun grand cru brut champagne next to a freshly poured glass of said champagne.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
What’s on your mind?
The Author gazing intently into your eyes.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
But seriously, happy Fourth and know that better days are coming. A better America is possible and will be achieved.
A photograph taken by The Author of a bright magenta and pink firework exploding over the Missouri River in Kansas City as four onlookers sit on a blanket on the opposite riverbank admiring it. The Kit Bond bridge is in the far right background.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
There we go.
An empty bottle of 2014 Morlet Passionnement cabernet sauvignon next to a 1000ml pyrex Erlenmeyer flask containing its contents for decanting A hand holding up a glass of the aforementioned wine in front of a television playing the opening scene of Independence Day.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Happy Fourth, y’all. Don’t lose ya digits.
An empty bottle of 2014 Morlet Passionnement cabernet sauvignon next to a 1000ml pyrex Erlenmeyer flask containing its contents for decanting
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Hell yeah, brother. I also had to get it when I saw it.
The Author outdoors at FIFA Fan Fest in sunglasses and wearing a blue and black twisted checkboard patterned adidas x Thrasher x Argentine Football Association jersey.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Big thumb guy meme with figure on the left shouting “I’m never coaching the USMNT!!! Ever! I’m serious!”
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
They sposed to be uefa
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Guess I can’t move for awhile. 🙄
Alice the white pitbull dozing, lying stretched out on her back, while The Author’s hand and part of his arm are stuck under her back.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Turkiye scored, I poured myself another glass of wine 😒
The Author sitting on the couch in a Team USA prematch kit and holding a glass of wine
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
Cais do Sodré Lisbon, Portugal 7 Feb. 2018 f/8, 1/1250, 200, 20mm.
A man walking the Cais do Sodre on a sunny day in the early winter afternoon carrying a single red flower while people around him sun themselves in winter clothes for siesta on various benches and chaise lounges.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
Excerpt from Frank Herbert’s Children of Dune. Text reads:

"You've given no thought to the kind of society you might prefer," The Preacher said. "You do not consider the hopes of your subjects. Even the form of the Imperium which you seek has little shape in your imaginings." He turned his masked face toward Tyekanik. "Your eye is upon the power, not upon its subtle uses and its perils. Your future is filled, thus, with manifest unknowns: with arguing women, with coughs and windy days. How can you create an epoch when you cannot see every detail? Your tough mind will not serve you. This is where you are weak."
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
Said it, been saying it, will always say it.
A march 30, 2024 tweet of mine that says “Temwa is the best. Argue with ya mama.”
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Ah, there we go.
Author holding up a blu-ray case of Terminator 2 in front of a tv loading the movie with the screen displaying “T2”
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
First birthday weekend in the new place starts now. Fuck, this wine is so damn good. Happy early birthday to me.
An empty bottle of 2021 Lapostolle Clos du Lican syrah from Chile next to a 1000ml pyrex Erlenmeyer flask containing decanted contents of said empty bottle with the cork in front of both.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
A Notes app screenshot. Text below:

There’s a hedge underneath a second-floor patio of my apartment building where occasionally a hidden treasure appears amidst the thicket: a mini tennis ball squeaky toy, bequeathed to the earth below by a benevolent Shiba Inu ignorant of gravitational theory.

Parents of the Shiba Inu, slothful as they are, regularly replace the toys rather than descend to easily retrieve the hedge-hidden castaways. Ever vigilant for the scent of tennis balls, Nala learned quickly that this magical hedge would often bear rewards. So every day on our walks we would detour to explore the hedge for the blessed fruit.

Today, Princess Alice and I walked by the magical hedge. Lo and behold, it bore newly dropped fruit, a mini tennis ball squeaky toy. Alice saw it, walked over and sniffed it. After brief contemplation, she left it as it lay. Tennis balls are not her thing. I looked up: the owners were in the process of moving out.

Alice moves on, taking me with her. Perhaps another lucky dog will find the toy and perhaps the Shiba Inu from above will never lose a mini tennis ball squeaky again. Or perhaps Nala will keep the tennis ball where it is; I might go back and hide it further in the hedge for her.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
I got Shuttlecork’d alone tonight
A spread of bottles of wine from Ramey, Peake Ranch, Chappellet (x2), and Brandon Gregory Illation.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
QED
Alice the white pitbull seated on the riverfront with the sun low in the sky among hazy clouds behind her.Alice the white pitbull seated on the riverfront with the sun in her eyes and a bridge behind her.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
Tonight’s accompanying pour: 2021 Cirq Russian River Valley Pinot Noir. Bright but soft nose, silky and balanced mouthfeel. Flavors of dark cherry syrup, cranberry Ocean Spray. Amazing wine. 96/100.
2021 Cirq Russian River Valley pinot noir bottle next to pyrex Erlenmeyer flask decanting the wine, and the cork prominently displayed in front of the two.

Review:
Bright but soft nose, silky and balanced mouthfeel.
Flavors of dark cherry syrup, cranberry Ocean Spray.
Amazing wine. 96/100.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
I herd u want another pizza mise 😤
Mise en place with a blank homemade large thin crust pizza dough surrounded by bowls of: shredded mozzarella, pizza sauce, dill pickle slices, fresh jalapeño slices, pickled red onion slivers, fresh yellow onion slivers, sliced fresh margherita pepperoni, olive oil with a brush, and a fresh roasted bulb of garlic still wrapped in foil.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Bagels. Next up: pizza.
Four homemade plain bagels sitting on a plate on top of a cutting board, a Victorinox chef’s knife resting above them position-wise on the board.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
A story in four parts.
The author looking at Alice the white pitbull snoozing on his chest.The author looking at the camera as Alice, now awake on his chest, glares at him.Alice forcefully putting her left paw on the author’s face as she glares at himThe author looking at the camera dejectedly with Alice’s left paw pushing his face away as she returns to snoozing position on his chest.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
All this lightning reminds me of one of my favorite photos I’ve taken.
Nighttime long exposure photo of the Kansas City skyline as seen through a large paned glass window of a loft 8 stories up, two lightning bolts striking behind the cityscape.
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
I stg Mike
Two framed match-worn Izzy Rodriguez USWNT jerseys: her inaugural match (2025 home jersey vs. Ireland) and a 2026 away jersey (vs. Portugal.)
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Screenshot of nonrendered image on dark theme bluesky
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
Unrelated, but there’s this. Who can even keep up?
Press release announcing a press conference from Acting AG Todd Blanche and Kash Patel tonight at 5:30et. Text as follows:

WASHINGTON -- This evening, Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche and FBI Director Kash Patel will hold a press conference at Main Justice.
WHEN: Tuesday, April 21 at 5:30 PM ET
WHERE:
U.S. Department of Justice 7th Floor Briefing Room
950 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, D.C. 20530
A livestream will be available at justice gov/live
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what @ryanhastwodogs.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
This is one you need, though… 😈
A red 20-sided die with only 1 and 20 on the sides.
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