Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 12hThey need to invent a pre-workout that tastes like a tall glass of milk. 020
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 09/10/2026I can stop at one, but if I have more than one, I’m having at least three, and if I have more than three, I’m having at least six, and if I have more than six, I’m having fourteen. 010
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Pants or no pants, I’m glad that you’ve never eaten a bacon abortion, Brian. 110
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026I’m going to delete all my social media and replace it with a physical newsletter that you receive in the mail. Please subscribe. There will be a new gym pic every month. 1240
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026This new Carrie adaptation would be a really nice fish out of water, coming of age story about fun and friendship, but I fear it’s going to take a dark turn. 080
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 08/10/2026If I could redo high school knowing what I know now, I’d probably have a solid shot at being on Homecoming court. 050
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026You ever drive all the way to the gym, go inside the gym, start lifting weights at the gym, only to realize you are way too tired to be at the gym? 3150
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026The main difference between me and the band Limp Bizkit is that I did almost none of it for the nookie. 0110
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Can’t believe I get to get drunk with friends again next week. What a time to be alive. 090
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Hear me out. We let them buy everything until they combine every streaming service into one single streaming service. And then we all cancel it. 0141
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026static.klipy.comBobby Bones: Having Trouble Getting It In GearALT: Bobby Bones: Having Trouble Getting It In Gear 000
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 06/10/2026You guys remember when Patamon digivolved into Angemon for the first time? 2210
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 06/10/2026My favorite kind of musician is the one that sings and plays guitar or piano but also has a harmonica wrapped around their neck that they can just start blowing on whenever they want. 170
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Finding the perfect spot to bleed out and inviting one of your friends to join you. 061
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I’ve watched Supernatural too many times, so when demons show up on earth, I expect them to have a plan. 010
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I’ve only seen Evil Dead Rise and Evil Dead Burn, so I have absolutely no idea what the rest of the Evil Dead lore is about. Is it all just, “Oh no, we opened the evil book, and now demons are killing us?” or do the demons actually have, like, goals? 250
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 05/10/2026It’s going to be baggy, but it’s not quite as oversized as I thought it would be. Up next: sleeves. 41123
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 04/10/2026So when Steve Rogers went back in time to return all the Infinity Stones to their rightful place, does that mean he had to go to Asgard and reinfect Jane with the reality stone liquid aether stuff? That seems mean. 1170
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Scientists have confirmed that you are terrible, and it’s only going to get worse. 290
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Are people really neurodivergent, or has society simply been designed around one type of brain? Do they really need medication, or do they just need to live on another planet that doesn’t have, like, clocks and capitalism? 0161
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Litdom. Literary domination. Take me to Barnes and Noble, bitch. 180
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Findom but it’s just you buying me new books to read. 1210
Reposted by Uncle Rogerillumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 12/10/2023sometimes i delete a post because i've grown as a person in those 45 seconds 5386112583
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Threats are fine as long as there’s no follow through. 110
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026I keep applying for bartending jobs because I miss bartending, but I keep not accepting the bartending jobs because I mostly just miss bartending for my friends and regulars who live 2 hours away. I don’t have the mental capacity to learn a whole new bar or restaurant’s lore. 1140
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Like best case scenario is she learns how to send a text. 110
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Hauntings are really a product of their time because imagine you’re the girl from The Ring, trapped forever inside a VHS tape in an age where nobody answers phone calls from strange numbers. Does her “You will die in 7 days” message even count if it goes straight to voicemail?static.klipy.comRings: Ghost Emerging From The WellALT: Rings: Ghost Emerging From The Well 2140
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Barber actually listened to me today and cut my hair the way I asked her to. A miracle. 2180
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026You have to embrace the shorts and hoodie weather for as long as it lasts. 020
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Someone needs to invent an OTC ibuprofen that I can inject directly into the base of my skull. 031
Uncle Roger @rojohen.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I contain multitudes. One of those multitudes is a basic bitch. 010
