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Plenty of ambition, not a lot of detail: my SKETCH of Andy Burnham's speech. thecritic.co.uk/more...

So it is not to question the prime minister’s evident sincerity to note that Burnham has the Boris Johnson quality of needing to tell his audience exactly what they want to hear. And he knows how to do it: his speech in Liverpool brought delegates to their feet cheering again and again. Small details like “what will all this cost?” and “how will it actually work?” were cast aside as the prime minister described the promised land into which he will take us. The comparison with his Tory predecessor offers a contrast too: Johnson delighted in being a naughty boy, whereas there are hints that Burnham thinks he’s the Messiah.

Before the speech we were played a video of ordinary people talking about “the first time I met Andy”. “Andy’s given me hope,” someone said. Have you invited Andy into your life as your leader and prime minister? The celebrity astronomer Brian Cox came and sat near us. An expert on the largest things in the universe, he’d come to see for himself the Burnham ego.

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It would just be so much easier if only the UK had a mainly services-based economy.

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We did not discuss The Cruel Sea's VD vignette in The Cruel Sea episode, confusingly, because we didn't know about it. Which is why I brought it up in the Full Metal Jacket episode.

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Tania Doney @taniadoney.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Only with @warmovietheatre.com do you get to hear about both the worst movie lines to use when disciplining your children AND the history of venereal disease in military conflict.

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So, who's your money on? Gérard Depardieu? Javier Bardem? Personally, I suspect Jackie Woodburne (Susan off Neighbours).

UK news
Marco Rubio says foreign actor was 'clearly' behind suspected plot at UK airbase

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Labour is a party disappointed by the people who vote for it and by the economy of the country it's running. thecritic.co.uk/the-...

And how will it do that? Healey, it turns out, has the kind of idea of work you’d expect from a man who has been active in politics since 1986. There were a lot of references to the coalmining heritage of his constituency, and even the more modern work he talked about was hard, manly toil like pipe-fitting, the sort of thing that involves bulging forearms and mucky overalls. Aside from his wife, the one woman he mentioned was Reeves, and she’s just lost her job.

It’s far from clear that the Chancellor has a handle on what the more modern bits of the economy look like. There are a million young people out of work, he said, and the solution he pointed to was shipbuilding apprenticeships. Do this year’s unemployed graduates actually want to go into shipbuilding? Are there enough ships for them to build? His first job, he said, was washing glasses at a pub, exactly the kind of work that has disappeared in the face of minimum wage and tax rises. On artificial intelligence, which has destro

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Tom Roberts @tpgroberts.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Hopeless Healey: my SKETCH of a Chancellor who's rather better at despair. thecritic.co.uk/the-...

“I’m a proud optimist,” John Healey told the Labour Party conference, unconvincingly. Perhaps he is. Let’s imagine that, away from the cameras, the Chancellor of the Exchequer is known as the cheeriest chap in the office, spotting the silver lining on every cloud and for ever detecting blessings beneath their disguises. Unfortunately, the Almighty, displaying once again the sense of humour that holds the universe together, has bestowed upon Healey the demeanour of an undertaker who’s just learned his business has burned down.

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Confusing cabinet appointments, ranked: 1) Nandy - Visibly disinterested, openly insubordinate, and a vital role. 2) Healey - When you thought the main issue with Rachel Reeves was her haircut. 3) Bryant - Consistent bungler, very little experience in either NI or Home, also not willing to learn.

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Where were you when I was looking for jokes?

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Maybe if we destroy the creative sector then in 2066 a Labour chancellor will make a speech about how great it was when we had it.

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Good news for miners that they finally have the full attention of the Treasury!

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David Wilcock @davidtwilcock.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

But what if I've had a busy day and I don't want to spend 20 minutes hunting through your liveblog to try to find out what the story is?

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I see your lack of power sockets and raise you a lamp screwed into the centre so that it’s hard to set up a laptop or do anything else useful.

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Labour is a party disappointed by the people who vote for it and by the economy of the country it's running. thecritic.co.uk/the-...

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Who remembers Rachel Reeves? thecritic.co.uk/the-...

All Labour conference speeches are in constant danger of lapsing into self-congratulation. Did you know that the party founded the NHS? It did, actually. Healey didn’t manage to resist the temptation. He was less comfortable with trickier, more recent aspects of the party’s history. He was, after all, only standing there because of the failure of his predecessor. He gave the briefest of tributes to her work in the Treasury, which won a smattering of applause, and then added that “after 800 years, she will always be recognised as this country’s first ever female Chancellor.” The conference cheered at the thought that Rachel Reeves is only a decade away from being a tricky pub quiz question.

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Dan Kaszeta FRHistS @dankaszeta.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Hopeless Healey: my SKETCH of a Chancellor who's rather better at despair. thecritic.co.uk/the-...

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I'm not one to point to harshly at a "diesel theft being mistaken for a terrorism attack" as I've seen similar things in my weird career. The guy putting down purple carpenter's chalk on the sidewalk to mark a hashhouse harriers run near the White House had a heck of a day....

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Ian Kikuchi @curatorian.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

John Healey's speech didn't address Britain's productivity issues. If it had, it could have looked at hotel desks, built in the 21st Century, that don't have any power sockets.

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He's right about Prince Russell.

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Hang on, I just need to check something from my automatic transcript of Healey's speech.

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Robert Hutton @roberthutton.co.uk · 27/09/2026

And readers, HERE IS THAT TIE.

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Hope Against Hope: my SKETCH of Andy Burnham, your new boyfriend who's definitely not anything like your old boyfriend. thecritic.co.uk/hope...

“HOPE AGAIN.” The slogan is everywhere at Labour conference, greeting you as you walk in, on banners dangling from the ceiling, behind the speakers on the main stage, attached to the lectern. The more you see it, the more questions it raises: when was HOPE? What happened to it? How can we be sure it is back, AGAIN?

Labour members gathered in Liverpool regard these questions as too obvious to discuss. HOPE is back AGAIN thanks to the arrival in Number 10 of Andy Burnham, the one true heir to the throne of Labour. It’s probably a good thing that Keir Starmer isn’t here: there’s only so many times anyone can endure a slogan whose entire subtext is that they’re a failure. It would be like seeing your ex walking around in a t-shirt that read: “FINALLY WITH SOMEONE WHO ISN’T A MASSIVE DISAPPOINTMENT.”

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Robert Hutton @roberthutton.co.uk · 27/09/2026

Hope Against Hope: my SKETCH of Andy Burnham, your new boyfriend who's definitely not anything like your old boyfriend. thecritic.co.uk/hope...

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War Movie Theatre @warmovietheatre.com · 24/09/2026

LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS! Today's episode will be on one of the greatest war films ever made, Full Metal Jacket. We will be joined by @sarahditum.bsky.social for some feminist backchat but you will ignore it. Let me hear you say "YESSIR". I CAN'T HEAR YOU! champ.ly/JXaGMYzm

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War Movie Theatre @warmovietheatre.com · 24/09/2026

This is our podcast. There are many like it, But this one is ours.

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War Movie Theatre @warmovietheatre.com · 27/09/2026

Love how this poster makes it look like a musical comedy.

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Luke LeBrun @lukelebrun.ca · 26/09/2026

Tech companies suddenly decide they can, in fact, moderate content on their platforms after all

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Steven Fielding @polprofsteve2024.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I once had to watch every episode of Downton Abbey and all I can say is that if you think it is one of the 100 best TV shows of the 21st century you urgently need to get checked for concussion.

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Keir Starmer should tour Labour conference giving interviews about how everything would be better if he were leader, because he's closer to the membership.

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It must be a ranking. It's not A-Z.

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Actually, I could defend that.

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