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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 25/12/2025

String he's actually supposed to eat is really taxing his brain cell

Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 01/10/2025

The words "felony" and "feline" both come from Old French felonie, meaning "wickedness" or "evil deed," which derives from fellon (an "evildoer") is a cool fact that I just made up

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 13/06/2025

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 22/03/2025

Monty just wants you to know that she doesn't approve

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 22/03/2025

When you make to heaven John Candy gives you a really big hug

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 17/03/2025

Unfortunately Spike has been lost at sea

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 17/03/2025

I feel like I just paid rent a couple weeks ago and they're now expecting me to pay rent again in a couple weeks??

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

I'm starting to think these Americans are acting a little goofy

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

Can everyone move their ears in a way that makes crunching sound inside, or is that just me?

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 02/02/2025

I believe we should enact heavy tarrifs against the US for all of the media products I torrent anyway.

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

Someone got into the bag of catnip mice last night. I don't like to just throw out accusations but...

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

My cat, who is an indoor cat, is screaming to be let outside as I leave for work. It's -8 outside. I don't have the energy to explain the situation to him.

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

When I was a teenage barrister I brought my grandfather a pound of fancy coffee, and he hid it so nobody would use any Christmas morning. Once he turned around in the middle of a 5 hour car trip to come back for cheese he left in my parents' fridge. I miss that man so much.

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

I'm so stressed, why can't I just have a tiny bit of time for myself over holidays. Just a teeny bit of me time? *monkey paw closes a finger. A child coughs in my direction*

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

If mammoths were still around we would make fun of elephants for being bald mammoths.

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

Me every winter when I finally break down and start wearing a parka instead of the lightest jacket imaginable: Bwahaha fuck you entropy, you worthless cosmic bitch

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

Everyone thinks they're a badass until they've taken slightly more shroomz than they should and an aggressive cable service sales person nocks on the door.

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Reality Dysfunction @realitydysfunction.bsky.social · 08/12/2024