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Steve Williams

@randomswill.com
199 followers 319 following 190 posts

Writer. Cat servant.

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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 18/07/2026
"Nothing says 'true blue Aussie battler' like experiencing the monoculture at a luxury resort in Italy with 'Dirt Mummy'". randomswill.substack.com/p/pauline-hanson-pm
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 07/07/2026
BREAKING: Trump has entire Belgium team arrested by ICE. #USABEL #FIFAWorldCup
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 24/06/2026
Karl Stefanovic’s interview with British far‑right activist Tommy Robinson gets pulled. His bookers scramble for another controversial subject. I'm happy to help. “Karl faces Australia’s most divisive figure. The ibis… icon or 'bin chicken'?”
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 01/06/2026
All I wanted was to update my phone number. The airline responded that they’d “approved to check” the issue. This is taking longer than the flight. Full story: tinyurl.com/airline-angst
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 28/02/2026
Travelling today? Please read my friendly, helpful guide. open.substack.com/pub/donotbea...
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 27/02/2026
My friendly, helpful guide to life - Do not be an arsehole - is now on Substack. Enjoy. @substack donotbeanarsehole.substack.com/p/do-not-be-...
donotbeanarsehole.substack.com
Do not be an arsehole at the theatre
Do not turn up at 7:58pm for an 8pm show and then be outraged at the queue.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 27/01/2026
Great piece. My design to solve the cabana-ing of Australian beaches. www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/li...
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 19/01/2026
Why the actual proverbial would you go today? #FFS
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 18/01/2026
BREAKING: Donald Trump has awarded himself the 2026 Wimbledon ladies’ singles championship.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 18/01/2026
BREAKING: Donald Trump has declared himself Best in Show at the 2026 Crufts dog show.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 11/09/2025
“The one thing that unites the extreme left, the extreme right and the just plain bonkers is that they can all get their hands on a gun with ease – and there is little sign of that changing.” Well said. @michaelkoziol.bsky.social @sydmorningherald.bsky.social
smh.com.au
Surely, American life just cannot go on like this
The assassination of MAGA activist Charlie Kirk is a shocking tragedy and an awful, scary reflection of the extreme political violence that now afflicts the US. It has to stop, but it seems likely to ...
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 15/08/2025
The ever-brilliant Marina Hyde bending it like the proverbial. @theguardian.com
theguardian.com
First it was family, now it’s a feud. But even in meltdown, Brand Beckham is raking it in | Marina Hyde
Brooklyn and his wife Nicola have fallen out with the rest of the multimedia-lifestyle-industrial-complex. Luckily, it’s all being kept very private, says Guardian columnist Marina Hyde
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 22/07/2025
My friendly, helpful advice for corporate types: Do not be an arsehole CEO: "Do not cheat on your wife with your HR chief and get caught on the kiss-cam."
donotbeanarsehole.com
Do Not Be An Arsehole CEO - Brutal Truth For Corporate Leaders
Think you’re a “visionary CEO”? Not if you’re doing any of this bullshit.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 20/07/2025
The typhoon that hit Hong Kong on Sunday morning was classified as a “10”. This is as high as it gets. It doesn’t go to a Spinal Tap 11. #TyphoonWipha
scmp.com
Developing | Typhoon Wipha about 50km from Hong Kong, T10 signal in force
No 10 signal, the highest-level warning, means that winds with mean speeds of 118km/h or more are expected.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 07/07/2025
Death by mushroom. Life imitates a Midsomer Murders episode. Again. (Destroying Angel, series 4, episode 2)
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 07/07/2025
Death by mushroom. Life imitates a Midsomer Murders episode. Again. (Destroying Angel, series 4, episode 2)
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 03/07/2025
"Oops. The Hour of Power Sydney toilet-jokes format on KIIS caused the pair to take a colossal gutser in Melbourne from the start." Great piece by Tony Wright. @sydmorningherald.bsky.social
smh.com.au
Why Melburnians celebrate the failure of Sydney’s ‘Vile Kyle’
The old Melbourne-Sydney rivalry was revived with the arrival of Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O on Melbourne’s airwaves. But why?
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 30/06/2025
Good to see Melbournians aren’t interested in the work experience Howard Stern circa late 80s.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 30/06/2025
My friendly, helpful guide on how to behave at an airport: Do not be an arsehole at an airport. #travel
t.co
https://donotbeanarsehole.com/do-not-be-an-arsehole-at-an-airport/
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 30/06/2025
I had a similar cricket injury to Steve Smith's. A bloke also offered to put my finger back in. The difference is he'd had several thousand beers. I gratefully declined. #WIvAUS
smh.com.au
Smith hits back after Healy’s criticism of Aussie top order
Steve Smith tested his finger injury in a New York baseball batting cage as he prepares to make his return in the second Test.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 25/06/2025
Thankfully, the brilliant Marina Hyde knows exactly what the fuck she's doing. @theguardian.com
theguardian.com
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 24/06/2025
The alleged break in the ceasefire reminds me of the stoning scene in Monty Python's Life of Brian. "Who threw that?"
youtube.com
Monty Python - Stoning
YouTube video by Weidmoo
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 24/06/2025
I wish Trump would call a ceasefire on his bizarre use of capital letters.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 22/06/2025
His Holiness has been rather busy. #ENGvIND
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 20/06/2025
I would rather have four-hour root canal therapy (again) than endure the Miranda Devine podcast. @meadea.bsky.social
theguardian.com
News Corp bets big on AI tools but journalists voice concerns | Weekly Beast
Company says in-house NewsGPT tool part of a look into how AI tech will ‘enhance our workplaces rather than replace jobs’. Plus: Seven West’s Origin dummy spit
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 19/06/2025
I would rather have four-hour root canal therapy (again) than watch Bride Hard.
theguardian.com
Bride Hard review – Rebel Wilson action comedy is hard to endure
The star makes for a charmless lead in a rubbishy attempt to mash a female-led wedding comedy and an action caper
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 14/06/2025
Good thing there’s a comma in this sentence.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 12/06/2025
6-28. What you call a captain’s knock. @cricketaustralia.bsky.social #WTC25
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 12/06/2025
So Trump's numbers aren't as bigly as he claims? I'm shocked! He really is an embarrassment to his country and the position he holds.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 12/06/2025
I'm confused. Does the "nude artist" create artwork of nude people, or does she create her art while nude?
dailymail.co.uk
Dina Broadhurst risks an Instagram ban as she shares racy selfie
Dina Broadhurst is known to take a racy snap or two - but this one might just take the cake.
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Reposted by Steve Williams
The Shovel @theshovel.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Australians looking at the contract, which contains more terms, conditions and exclusions than a 50% off sale at Harvey Norman, determined that the deal was, “definitely, absolutely and categorically America First”.
theshovel.com.au
Trump To Review Deal Where Australia Pays America $350B for Submarines It Will Never Receive, To Ensure It Is ‘America First’ — The Shovel
Australians looking at the contract, which contains more terms, conditions and exclusions than a 50% off sale at Harvey Norman, determined that the deal was, “definitely, absolutely and categorically ...
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 12/06/2025
Morrison? Hockey? They'll be wheeling out Howard next. #ThisIsAUKWARD
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 12/06/2025
This is AUKWARD. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
theguardian.com
Conceived in secrecy and born in haste, Aukus is on its last legs. When will Labor call the undertaker? | Allan Behm
Now that the US has effectively made the decision for us, Australia could plan and build the submarines it needs
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 12/06/2025
"10 News+"? Must have been a very long meeting for the creative boffins to come up with that.
smh.com.au
Fewer car crashes, meatier news: Ten unveils bold Project replacement
The network says its ambitious new program will contain “no opinion and no filler, just the facts”.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 12/06/2025
This is AUKWARD. #auspol
smh.com.au
Marles unfazed by Trump’s AUKUS review, which opposition claims is ‘deeply concerning’
The snap review comes just days before Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and President Donald Trump attend a world leaders’ meeting in Canada.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 06/06/2025
Even Derek Zoolander of the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too wouldn’t have given a bill such a ridiculous name. @benstiller.redhour.com
whitehouse.gov
The One, Big, Beautiful Bill
Track the One Big Beautiful Bill's progression in Congress. Explore company endorsements, benefits, and try our No Tax on Tips & Overtime Calculator to see how much money you will save.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 05/06/2025
In the words of legendary newsman Ron Burgundy, "That escalated quickly." #GlassCaseOfEmotion
smh.com.au
Bromance over: Musk accuses Trump of being in Epstein files
The US president suggested Musk is suffering “Trump derangement syndrome”. The Tesla chief said that “without me, Trump would have lost”.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 05/06/2025
These cockatoos could give Todd Carney a lesson in the correct use of a bubbler. #NRL
smh.com.au
They conquered our bins. Now Sydney’s cockatoos have learnt to use bubblers
The city-slicker cockies probably weren’t sipping the bubbler’s water for survival. Researchers think they might just be having fun, for now.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 04/06/2025
Her TripAdvisor review for Greece, “NO TOAD IN THE HOLE OR SPOTTED DICK!! ONE STAR!!” #FFS #travel
dailymail.co.uk
Brit says Corfu trip a 'nightmare' as there was 'no English food'
Susan Edwards, 69, set off on a seven-night, all-inclusive holiday to the Greek island last month but claimed 'there was no food we could eat and we couldn't have anything to drink'.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 03/06/2025
Excellent piece. You may appreciate my friendly, helpful guide.
donotbeanarsehole.com
Do not be an arsehole on a train
Do not be a man-spreading arsehole.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 30/05/2025
Now THIS is how you write a food review. In which a DILF Hunter cap meets Dad and Dave and a “chef spraying skewers with Sandhurst Canola in a can”, all set to a jazzpop-electro-doof soundtrack. @sydmorningherald.bsky.social
smh.com.au
Haymarket’s revamped Paddy’s Markets vowed to be a first-rate food hub. It didn’t deliver
With nearly 50 new stalls across a 3000-square-metre space with two large bars, has Hay St Market lived up to expectations?
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 30/05/2025
“Hey Siri… what is an ‘absolute shitshow’?”
smh.com.au
Abbott makes factional demand as deadline looms for Ley
As the new leader prepares to decide on the future of the party’s biggest state division, Abbott threw down the gauntlet in an early test of Sussan Ley’s authority.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 28/05/2025
Jargon isn’t BS filler—it’s actionable, moves the needle, and empowers ninjas across the food chain. Without it, how else do we boil the ocean or trim the fat? @kirstinferguson.bsky.social
smh.com.au
My workplace is awash with jargon and it’s driving me mad. How can I stop it?
It’s time to put a pin in the use of office jargon, says Dr Kirstin Ferguson. She has some choice words for of advice for those who no longer have the bandwidth to deal with it.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 28/05/2025
“While Minns’ housing solution is out the window, racing will go on, the grandstands populated during carnival time and mostly empty at others.” Says it all.
smh.com.au
Doomed from the start: Why the great Rosehill sell-off failed
The $5 billion plan to sell the western Sydney racecourse for housing was off the pace from the outset.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 27/05/2025
We've had a late scratching...
smh.com.au
D-Day arrives: Rosehill mini-city proposal rejected
Rosehill racecourse’s mooted transformation into a massive new housing development has been dealt a fatal blow.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 27/05/2025
Edge-of-the-seat stuff.
smh.com.au
Adam Gilchrist’s former club side concedes 426 and is bowled out for two
Eight of Richmond’s fourth XI batsmen were out for a duck as they lost by 424 runs in the Middlesex League in England.
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 27/05/2025
Hardly “insane”. These morons just need to sit the f*ck down.
news.com.au
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 24/05/2025
Should I be giving Twitter the last rites? I am an ordained atheist reverend.
media.tenor.com
a group of men in suits are carrying a coffin and dancing .
ALT: a group of men in suits are carrying a coffin and dancing .
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 24/05/2025
Should I be giving Twitter the last rites? I am an ordained atheist reverend.
media.tenor.com
a group of men in suits are carrying a coffin on their heads .
ALT: a group of men in suits are carrying a coffin on their heads .
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Steve Williams @randomswill.com · 19/05/2025
"Classy response" about Biden's cancer diagnosis? So we should be applauding Trump for not using "Crooked Joe", "Sleepy Joe" or "Crazy Joe"? WTAF.
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