Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Has everyone seen the new cat? You need to see the new cat. It's adorable (and tiny)! 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Dear colonoscopy prep drugs, Please stop. Your job is over. I would like to keep some of my new food for a minute. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Why does shipt ask if it's okay to deliver your order early? You know, considering if you say "no" they still do it? Hope my frozen food that sat on my doorstep for an hour before I woke up is okay. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Instead of actually emptying my ashtray and taking the trash to the dumpster before leaving the apartment for several hours, I just moved the ashtray to a location where she certainly couldn't get to it with her mobility issues (on the ground, under a little table at the far edge of the patio.) 100
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Dear telemarketers, Please learn when to hang up. Stop leaving me short, silent voicemails. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 14/07/2026I don't recognize the language my lyft driver's navigation system is talking in. This is a first. 010
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 17/06/2026Ketchup. The answer is definitely ketchup. But also broccoli, mayo, avocado, bananas, walnuts, and iceberg lettuce. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Free snacks in breakroom today and I made a discovery. If you squeeze cinnamon applesauce on apple chips, it's really good. 010
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 06/06/2026At pride right now. Pros: - Seeing lots of middle-aged dyke couples wandering around. - The amazing gyro I just ate. Getting tzatziki on my shorts was worth it. - Knowing that the church I would have probably been taken to as a child if my mother had still been religious by then is a sponsor. 110
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 04/06/2026If I say these are for people with multiple 'tisms, does the joke land? Or is the wordplay too clunky? 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 02/06/2026The lily got excited about June. It had one bloom Saturday and 2 yesterday, but today it's a full dozen. 020
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 24/05/2026Mothers of the world (or at least this store), I know you are scared of stranger danger, but at some point you need to cut the cord and let your sons use the men's restroom by themselves. When he clearly needs to shave, he's old enough. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 11/03/2026Who has 2 thumbs and seems to be getting a cold/sinus infection? *exasperated sign* 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 27/02/2026And we've reached the point in the weird cycle where I'm allergic to my own pants again. Oh, joy. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 19/02/2026Thing I just said to my mother: I feel like biathalon is the one olympic sport I could do. I wouldn't win, but I wouldn't die or require medical attention, unlike bobsled, figure skating, or snowboard. 040
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 09/02/2026When they mention that an Olympic athlete is dating another Olympian who does a completely different sport (in this case a speed skater and a hockey player) I can't help but wonder if they met at a previous Olympics or if there's some training overlap that brought them together. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 03/02/2026Is it wrong that I'm tempted to not tip rideshare drivers who're driving a tesla? (I did tip him) 110
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 31/01/2026Last week I bought a phone case and some other stuff off amazon. Instead of next day shipping I opted for getting it Saturday in exchange for a $5 credit to buy/rent movies on prime. Unfortunately I wasn't think about the fact that Saturday was the day the snow was going to start. 100
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 04/01/2026Introduce yourself by what almost killed you: Hi. I'm approximately 5 feet of motel pool (shaped like a bird) water. Or, I'm the younger sibling impulse to follow my older (and much taller) brother without thinking. 010
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 20/12/2025My fellow rideshare passenger is playing videos on his phone full volume. Why do people do this? 110
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 14/12/2025Went bra shopping last night. I don't know if my hormones are doing weird things again or if I’ve just lost a little weight, but I'm back in a G. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 19/11/2025So my day at work was...interesting. A short power outage this morning blew a circuit and all our salesfloor coolers went out. They got fixed just in time for me to refill them. 110
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 18/11/2025My left hip, shoulder, and ankle all object to the weather. Okay, the ankle would hate me regardless, but the cold wet isn't helping. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 14/11/2025Why does everyone think it's weird that I bought (hot cocoa flavored) whipped cream to just eat? 110
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 08/11/2025Was it sensational enough I'll have to deal with looky-loos? Is there a chance other people will show up looking for the victim with ill intent? If not, and if it's been properly cleaned, then sign me the fuck up. I will enjoy my discounted house. 110
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 24/10/2025I still have no idea why I requested tomorrow off and I'm paranoid I have some kind of appointment. (Nothing on mychart for me or mom, so...🤷♀️) 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 30/09/2025Why does my employer not sell the extremely basic and economical shampoo I use? Grocery stores sell prell, but we don't. I had been planning to get some off Amazon because I need a new phone case anyway, but they only have multiples at markup prices. 110
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 21/09/2025Well past the threshold of my adulting abilities. Someone please take over for me for a minute? 100
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 21/09/2025Dear nervous system, Yes, I am a failure of a human being who has fucked everything up. We can not fix it right now, so please calm down. Panic mode at midnight is not helpful. 120
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 20/09/2025If he's using the cassette player, it's probably the Eagles or the Miami Vice soundtrack. But he'd probably just be listening to the oldies station on the radio (it was 50s and 60s back then.) If mom's in the car she's playing Guns and Roses or Bon Jovi, maybe Areosmith. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 07/09/2025I hate when doctors just talk out of their ass because they assume the patient is ignorant. An infection is either viral or bacterial based on what caused the infection. It's bullshit to tell me it's viral but could become bacterial if I don't treat my symptoms. 220
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 02/09/2025Being an old lady who pees a little when you cough or sneeze pairs very poorly with respiratory illness. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 24/08/2025- Hypermobility and all the weird nonsense that comes with it. - the natural resting position of my toes (except the big ones) is curled up so that the tips are what touches the ground - i was born with a tail (wasn't removed, ass grew until it doesn't show anymore) 120
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 23/08/2025Well, I procrastinated until the last possible moment of my vacation, but I did so much laundry that I ran out of hangers. 100
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 18/08/2025My teeth are clean and my hair is shorter (plus I had a coffee drink.) Overall a successful day out, even if they did do my dental cleaning with the manual tools instead of the industrial strength waterpick (which I prefer, which I thought was in my file.) 110
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 15/08/2025The show I'm watching just mentioned fear of clowns, so I'm going to say this for the record: it's totally fine to see a clowns in places you expect clowns. Circus, family friendly street festival, even the craft store I used to work at, seeing a clown is chill. 100
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 30/07/2025Ever since I probably had covid last month I've been having a lot more headaches, and my usual remedies don't work. Do not like. 100
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 28/07/2025Woke up this morning and contemplated canceling my day off errands because it's too damned hot. I was good and took mom to get bloodwork and went to buy cigarettes anyway, but I did it in pajama shorts and a sleeveless tee. 020
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 11/07/2025Post a scene inside a carmedia.tenor.comtwo women are sitting in a convertible car .Alt: Thelma and Louise in that green convertible, wind in their hair. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 06/07/2025Did not consider that going to the laundromat during daylight means everyone else would also be doing laundry. Mission aborted due to insufficient washers. 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 04/07/2025The southeast side is getting a headstart on celebrating (blowing things up.) 000
Rabidmonkey @rabidmonkey.bsky.social · 03/07/2025Well, 2 tests say it's not covid but something is not right. 000
