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Carl @punchsport.report · 30/09/2026

It's UFC 332 and Wang Cong is fighting for the world championship because nothing matters. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 202: TIN STAR

UFC 332: Silva vs Wang

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Carl @punchsport.report · 23/09/2026

The last time I remember a regular human being mentioning TUF to me outside of a 'that still exists?' context was the all-Flyweight-champions season. Which was already a decade ago, because we're dying.

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Carl @punchsport.report · 23/09/2026

Raul Rosas Jr. in the main event, Robert Bryczek in the co-main event, finals for a season of TUF that no one watched, the return of Sedriques Dumas, and a top five women's fight buried in the prelims. The Apex will, given time, kill us all. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 201: A TALE OF TWO CITIES

UFC Fight Night: Rosas Jr. vs Barcelos

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Carl @punchsport.report · 20/09/2026

there's a 90% chance they're going to give him the worst, most vicious possible matchmaking next as an act of revenge, but for one moment, sean sharaf was king

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Carl @punchsport.report · 20/09/2026

josh hokit title fight main events over kayla harrison vs amanda nunes, sure. sure sure sure

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Carl @punchsport.report · 17/09/2026

gotta have a side hustle, can't tape new seasons all year

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Carl @punchsport.report · 17/09/2026

can I interest you in a scott coker promotion? it's got tournaments

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Carl @punchsport.report · 16/09/2026

Thank you, that's an honor coming from you.

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Carl @punchsport.report · 16/09/2026

200 of these. Jesus christ. I was not intending for this series to be a chronicle of the downfall of the UFC and MMA when I started writing it, but almost five years later, that's where we are. Also, Van vs Pantoja 2. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 200: THE FUTURE

UFC 331: Van vs Pantoja 2

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Carl @punchsport.report · 12/09/2026

don't worry, there still isn't, really

020

Carl @punchsport.report · 09/09/2026

the UFC cordially invites you to their fourth annual attempt to make the people they are actively propagandizing against give them more money www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 199: SHORT SELLING

UFC Fight Night/Noche UFC 4: Silva vs Delgado

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Carl @punchsport.report · 05/09/2026

what a terrible, fake sport it is

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Carl @punchsport.report · 02/09/2026

The UFC is in France for Hooker vs Parnasse, and it's the first salvo of an MMA war in which Jake Paul is a preferable alternative, because that is what our terrible sport deserves. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 198: THE LOOMING HORIZON

UFC Fight Night: Hooker vs Parnasse

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Carl @punchsport.report · 02/09/2026

marginally disconcerted that my reflexive reaction to this was 'it's a pleasant surprise they're still bothering to condemn it'

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Carl @punchsport.report · 26/08/2026

The UFC is back in Shanghai this week, which statistically-speaking means this probably airs at 2-6 AM your time and you should get more sleep and eat a healthy breakfast. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 197: UNTIL IT WORKS

UFC Fight Night: Nurmagomedov vs Song

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Carl @punchsport.report · 26/08/2026

come the fuck on, man.

020

Carl @punchsport.report · 24/08/2026

so duh twoo, since time immemorial

010

Carl @punchsport.report · 22/08/2026

When they needed to cultivate legalization and mainstream acceptance they softened their image, embraced diversity (comparatively) and obscured their politics. The more stable success became, the less they had to pretend to care. Once the TKO buyout happened they no longer had to pretend at all.

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Carl @punchsport.report · 21/08/2026

I was too tired to remember to link this yesterday after I published it and that is about as much effort as the UFC put into this card. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 196: THE CIRCLE

UFC Fight Night: Hernandez vs Rodrigues

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Carl @punchsport.report · 15/08/2026

Mine was half Freedom 250 and half complaining about Ariel Helwani, so we'll just say it was media critique and call it even.

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Carl @punchsport.report · 13/08/2026

I would say Featherweight used to be Starry Night and now it has been demoted to Dogs Playing Poker, which is to say it's still beautiful and rapturous but it's also kind of a beer commercial

021

Carl @punchsport.report · 13/08/2026

hurriedly deleting my super annoying ufc 250 think piece before i nod sagely and hit the like button

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Carl @punchsport.report · 13/08/2026

Getting shoved off of Melvin by the ref and then regaining back control just to get the crotch chop in is still excellent work.

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Carl @punchsport.report · 13/08/2026

Heavyweight is Guernica because it still elicits emotion, even if that emotion is horror and devastation. Light Heavyweight is The Scream. Middleweight is Nighthawks.

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Carl @punchsport.report · 12/08/2026

Islam Makhachev is defending the UFC Welterweight title, which means it's time to talk about the most exciting topic there is in mixed martial arts: The struggles of feminism. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 195: YOU'RE THE BEST I CAN DO

UFC 330: Makhachev vs Machado Garry

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Carl @punchsport.report · 11/08/2026

from wasting my life on wrestling i feel like it's a case where everyone's gonna spend months complaining and then they're all gonna wind up watching john cena beat up the nexus for the third time so they can complain about that, too, but i hope not

010

Carl @punchsport.report · 11/08/2026

we say this and it feels right, but then i think about how despite seeming pretty forgettable hogwarts legacy sold eighty billion copies and i just don't know, man

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Carl @punchsport.report · 05/08/2026

It's UFC Fight Night: Gamrot vs Salkilld but as usual I'm just mad about the women getting de-emphasized and I can't get over thWHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A SECOND ROSAS BROTHER www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 194: IN THE DARK

UFC Fight Night: Gamrot vs Salkilld

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Carl @punchsport.report · 04/08/2026

for my 40th I did this but with chicken mcnuggets, so good job approaching it with class. happy birthday.

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Carl @punchsport.report · 01/08/2026

yeah, they were hoping stirling would be more of a knockout guy, but he turned out to be defensively sound instead and at this point they'll take it if it works. it'll probably be enough.

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Carl @punchsport.report · 30/07/2026

pining for the industry's ethically softer days, when the promoters just wanted to make the fighters compete in a pit surrounded by alligators

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Carl @punchsport.report · 30/07/2026

it's really cool to wake up and discover jake paul is now personally in charge of half of mixed martial arts in america; unrelatedly is it bad if there's clear fluid leaking from your ear

060

Carl @punchsport.report · 29/07/2026

Congratulations, UFC, you are internationally legitimate enough to make it to Serbia. We're having a party to celebrate and everyone's getting Uros Medic. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 193: A GEOGRAPHY LESSON

UFC Fight Night: Medić vs Rodriguez

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Carl @punchsport.report · 23/07/2026

jessica andrade is a former world champion with eight thousand fights who regularly won by picking up human beings and dropping them on their skulls for a company with a $7.7 billion broadcast deal, but who can say if the industry is problematic or not, really

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Carl @punchsport.report · 23/07/2026

the real secret is i have a simpsons "do it for her" board but it's just pictures of kyoji horiguchi.

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Carl @punchsport.report · 23/07/2026

three years ago (within a week, actually) someone asked how well I would be able to hang on as everything got progressively worse, and however much worse those three years have been than I could have imagined, I am still hanging onto 2023 carl's response:

A screenshot of text that reads: "I'm not ceding the space of this sport to some of the worst, dumbest motherfuckers on the planet just because they got louder and more desperate. I was renting UFC on VHS before Dana White was here and I'll still be watching the day after he wakes up in Hell."

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Carl @punchsport.report · 23/07/2026

the product now graces me with an inexhaustible scream fuel supply

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Carl @punchsport.report · 22/07/2026

Light Heavyweight is getting the treatment it deserves for its sins, and we are getting the Light Heavyweight division we deserve for ours. Also: Wordless screaming. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 192: KILL LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT

UFC Fight Night: Ankalaev vs Guskov

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Carl @punchsport.report · 15/07/2026

Very few things have summed up the current nothing-matters era of the UFC as succinctly as the phrase "Kamaru Usman Middleweight Title Eliminator" www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

punchsport.report

CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 191: STUCK IN MIDDLEWEIGHT WITH YOU

UFC Fight Night: du Plessis vs Usman

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Carl @punchsport.report · 13/07/2026

get a large metal thermos and keep it by your side at all times, it's the only way

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Carl @punchsport.report · 12/07/2026

I came really close to putting out an editorial tonight that was just four hand-typed pages of laughter.

010

Carl @punchsport.report · 12/07/2026

I will never feel this gratified by this sport ever again.

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Carl @punchsport.report · 12/07/2026

every once in awhile, if you can believe, this sport is still beautiful

1103

Carl @punchsport.report · 11/07/2026

i know the point of the conservative culture war is that nothing means anything, the truth is whatever they want it to be and the past doesn't exist when it's inconvenient, but even by those standards this is a nervously-hoping-god-doesn't-smite-you tier of pretending

020

Carl @punchsport.report · 09/07/2026

i remember asking a friend who liked him how 'was a hired gun for blackwater' wasn't immediately disqualifying for democratic office and i'm still baffled it wasn't, let alone the Everything Fucking Else

020

Carl @punchsport.report · 08/07/2026

If this all falls apart and we get a Max Holloway vs King Green main event at the last minute, it'll all be worth it.

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