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Carl

@punchsport.report
199 followers 446 following 272 posts

Writing about combat sports at the end of the world. www.punchsport.report

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Carl @punchsport.report · 2h
It's UFC 332 and Wang Cong is fighting for the world championship because nothing matters. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 202: TIN STAR
UFC 332: Silva vs Wang
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Carl @punchsport.report · 28/09/2026
The fuck.
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Carl @punchsport.report · 23/09/2026
Raul Rosas Jr. in the main event, Robert Bryczek in the co-main event, finals for a season of TUF that no one watched, the return of Sedriques Dumas, and a top five women's fight buried in the prelims. The Apex will, given time, kill us all. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 201: A TALE OF TWO CITIES
UFC Fight Night: Rosas Jr. vs Barcelos
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Carl @punchsport.report · 20/09/2026
never mind MMA is good
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Carl @punchsport.report · 20/09/2026
josh hokit title fight main events over kayla harrison vs amanda nunes, sure. sure sure sure
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Carl @punchsport.report · 16/09/2026
200 of these. Jesus christ. I was not intending for this series to be a chronicle of the downfall of the UFC and MMA when I started writing it, but almost five years later, that's where we are. Also, Van vs Pantoja 2. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 200: THE FUTURE
UFC 331: Van vs Pantoja 2
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Carl @punchsport.report · 09/09/2026
the UFC cordially invites you to their fourth annual attempt to make the people they are actively propagandizing against give them more money www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 199: SHORT SELLING
UFC Fight Night/Noche UFC 4: Silva vs Delgado
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Carl @punchsport.report · 05/09/2026
what a terrible, fake sport it is
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Carl @punchsport.report · 02/09/2026
The UFC is in France for Hooker vs Parnasse, and it's the first salvo of an MMA war in which Jake Paul is a preferable alternative, because that is what our terrible sport deserves. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 198: THE LOOMING HORIZON
UFC Fight Night: Hooker vs Parnasse
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Carl @punchsport.report · 02/09/2026
marginally disconcerted that my reflexive reaction to this was 'it's a pleasant surprise they're still bothering to condemn it'
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Carl @punchsport.report · 26/08/2026
The UFC is back in Shanghai this week, which statistically-speaking means this probably airs at 2-6 AM your time and you should get more sleep and eat a healthy breakfast. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 197: UNTIL IT WORKS
UFC Fight Night: Nurmagomedov vs Song
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Carl @punchsport.report · 26/08/2026
come the fuck on, man.
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Carl @punchsport.report · 21/08/2026
I was too tired to remember to link this yesterday after I published it and that is about as much effort as the UFC put into this card. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 196: THE CIRCLE
UFC Fight Night: Hernandez vs Rodrigues
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Carl @punchsport.report · 12/08/2026
Islam Makhachev is defending the UFC Welterweight title, which means it's time to talk about the most exciting topic there is in mixed martial arts: The struggles of feminism. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 195: YOU'RE THE BEST I CAN DO
UFC 330: Makhachev vs Machado Garry
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Carl @punchsport.report · 05/08/2026
It's UFC Fight Night: Gamrot vs Salkilld but as usual I'm just mad about the women getting de-emphasized and I can't get over thWHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A SECOND ROSAS BROTHER www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 194: IN THE DARK
UFC Fight Night: Gamrot vs Salkilld
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Carl @punchsport.report · 30/07/2026
it's really cool to wake up and discover jake paul is now personally in charge of half of mixed martial arts in america; unrelatedly is it bad if there's clear fluid leaking from your ear
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Carl @punchsport.report · 29/07/2026
Congratulations, UFC, you are internationally legitimate enough to make it to Serbia. We're having a party to celebrate and everyone's getting Uros Medic. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 193: A GEOGRAPHY LESSON
UFC Fight Night: Medić vs Rodriguez
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Carl @punchsport.report · 23/07/2026
jessica andrade is a former world champion with eight thousand fights who regularly won by picking up human beings and dropping them on their skulls for a company with a $7.7 billion broadcast deal, but who can say if the industry is problematic or not, really
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Carl @punchsport.report · 22/07/2026
Light Heavyweight is getting the treatment it deserves for its sins, and we are getting the Light Heavyweight division we deserve for ours. Also: Wordless screaming. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 192: KILL LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT
UFC Fight Night: Ankalaev vs Guskov
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Carl @punchsport.report · 15/07/2026
Very few things have summed up the current nothing-matters era of the UFC as succinctly as the phrase "Kamaru Usman Middleweight Title Eliminator" www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 191: STUCK IN MIDDLEWEIGHT WITH YOU
UFC Fight Night: du Plessis vs Usman
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Josh Sawyer @jesawyer.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
FUCK
Sam Neill in In the Mouth of Madness at the end with popcorn in a movie theatre
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Carl @punchsport.report · 12/07/2026
every once in awhile, if you can believe, this sport is still beautiful
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Carl @punchsport.report · 11/07/2026
i know the point of the conservative culture war is that nothing means anything, the truth is whatever they want it to be and the past doesn't exist when it's inconvenient, but even by those standards this is a nervously-hoping-god-doesn't-smite-you tier of pretending
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Carl @punchsport.report · 08/07/2026
I was wrong about Conor never coming back, and all it took to make it possible was the complete destruction of the sport. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 190: WHATEVER IT TAKES
UFC 329: McGregor vs Holloway 2
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Adrian Campos @friendadev.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
The game industry is so fucking back
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Weatherwax @witchabroad.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
will i ever write something new? who knows. meanwhile, here's more old stuff! bloodynostalgia.substack.com/p/on-fightin...
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Carl @punchsport.report · 25/06/2026
I wrote the usual essay about the Fiziev/Torres card and I made a terrible photoshop for it and five minutes later I forgot everything about it. Is this because the card is iffy or because I've been getting three hours of sleep a night? We don't have to choose. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 189: BAKU TWO
UFC Fight Night: Fiziev vs Torres
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Carl @punchsport.report · 22/06/2026
after months of hype the UFC just launched their official, Meta AI-powered rankings, and everything is going great. apropos of nothing I'd like to congratulate Rafa Garcia on winning the Lightweight championship while no one was looking
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Carl @punchsport.report · 21/06/2026
New Japan wrestler Tomohiro Ishii at a press conference saying "I'm a sad man, write whatever you want about me" because Kyoji Horiguchi got knocked out at a UFC event and I cannot speak for myself.
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Carl @punchsport.report · 20/06/2026
started to repost the umar nurmagomedov holocaust denial with withering commentary, didn't, and am now uncertain how much of that is exhaustion, how much is a desire not to boost it and how much is no longer feeling like the UFC supporting holocaust denial is notable
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Carl @punchsport.report · 19/06/2026
I promise that you will never read a better article about the intersection between ring girl outfits and French philosophy in your entire life.
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Carl @punchsport.report · 17/06/2026
Getting back to normal feels like shit, but it's Kyoji Horiguchi, so those fuckers got me anyway. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 188: LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED
UFC Fight Night: Kape vs Horiguchi (2)
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Carl @punchsport.report · 11/06/2026
The UFC is at the White House and it took me awhile to figure out how to deal with it. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 187: WHAT YOU GIVE AWAY
UFC Freedom 250: Topuria vs Gaethje
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Carl @punchsport.report · 11/06/2026
we're doing a few pieces this week and, as always, jess's will be the best
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Carl @punchsport.report · 08/06/2026
the canonical mixed martial arts journalist
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Carl @punchsport.report · 05/06/2026
textbooks need to be written about RGG's creative and promotional choices as a warning to future generations
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David BASTARDspan @davidbix.com · 04/06/2026
"FOR TONY SCHIAVONE! FOR TAZ! FOR EXCALIBUR! FIX YOUR HEARTS OR *DIE*!!!!!! *THIS* IS ALL ELITE WRESTLING!!!!!" - @shutupexcalibur.bsky.social #AEWDynamite
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Carl @punchsport.report · 03/06/2026
We were going to have to start dealing with this month eventually. It is fitting it starts in the Apex with an attempt to erase a Palestinian guy. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 186: VARIOUS DEMOTIONS
UFC Fight Night: Muhammad vs Bonfim
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kara🐆 @karaonza.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
never die
trans pride fighting championships
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Carl @punchsport.report · 27/05/2026
The UFC is in Macau and I think 2/3 of this entire writeup is just complaining about Angela Hill vs Jingnan Xiong being on the prelims. WHY DID YOU EVEN HIRE HER IF YOU WERE GOING TO BOOK HER UNDER CARLSTON HARRIS www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 185: A SERIES OF DO-OVERS
UFC Fight Night: Song vs Figueiredo
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Carl @punchsport.report · 26/05/2026
it really is amazing how our godforsaken half-sport has become a focal point of total planetary alignment for every bad thing we've got going on right now
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Carl @punchsport.report · 24/05/2026
however many many things I crack on MMA for, boxing never, ever fails to be Boxing
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Carl @punchsport.report · 22/05/2026
this is probably the most fun I've had talking about MMA in awhile.
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Carl @punchsport.report · 17/05/2026
for one everyone should read karim whenever possible, but for two, the terrible space this sport is in for this statement to be true and MVP a breath of fresh air i love MMA like no other industry and I would set it on fire if I could
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Carl @punchsport.report · 17/05/2026
anyone who did not expect that from rousey/carano, i love and envy you
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Carl @punchsport.report · 16/05/2026
the true point of the b-leagues still existing are these
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Carl @punchsport.report · 13/05/2026
You know, I have nothing bad to say about Arnold Allen or Melquizael Costa. I am all for both men. So I'm gonna get mad at ranked women being stuck on the prelims under Tuco Tokkos instead. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
punchsport.report
CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 184: HERALDING A QUICK NAP
UFC Fight Night: Allen vs Costa
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Carl @punchsport.report · 10/05/2026
you will be paid your post fight bonus in the form of the right to put a 256x256 PNG on your shorts
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Carl @punchsport.report · 10/05/2026
what a great way for no one to look good in a championship match
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Carl @punchsport.report · 06/05/2026
bio rex will never know justice
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