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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★

@proceduraltexture.bsky.social
1.6K followers 2.1K following 2.3K posts

Semi-sentient cell bundle free-falling thru spacetime. Libertarian socialist, antifascist, friend to LGBTQIA+. We/us, not taken not looking. Borges fan, Jung ponderer, Farker, unreliable at DMs (sorry). PNW 🇨🇦🍁 Cryptobros, TERFs, fascists → blocked 🚯

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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 20h
#ohnoanyway
A double-fisted sex toy that looks like hands in prayer is captioned "Thoughts and prayers"
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Somewhere, a basket lacks a head.
An image of Jeff Bezos next to a raised guillotine.
Caption: "Hell yeah, I'm LGBTQ: Let's Guillotine Billionaires Together Quickly:
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
"There's a lotta things about the dark side of the Force you don't know anything about, Anakin. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand."
Photoshopped still from Revenge of the Sith.
Palpatine with a woman's face turns to Anakin as Peewee Herman and asks, "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Marge the Large?"
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Tohoku coast, Japan. Quite a similar landscape, other than it faces east.
Kitayamazaki Cape, Iwate prefecture in 2008.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Right-wing Xtians are evil nutjobs, plain and simple.
Quote:
"Beware of any Christian movement that demands the government be an instrument of God's wrath but never a source of God's mercy, generosity, or compassion."
--Reverend Benjamin Cremler
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I seem to have misplaced my beer.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Schumer's so well connected, and yet so completely useless it has to be deliberate.
A short e-mail from Jeffrey Epstein to Jes Staley dated 2/16/2013 simply reads "I have dinner with Schumer tonight."
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Summary of Li'l Petey Kegbreath's rousing speech:
A revolutionary war commander on horseback shouts "Leroy Jenkins!" as he charges ahead of the troops.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Here's a cute spider to help you recover from the trauma.
A very small jumping spider with a water droplet sitting on their head.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
40% of cops are ADMITTED spouse abusers. The actual number is higher. #ACAB
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I've long wanted to see a VW van as the gondola beneath an airship.
The 200-meter rigid airship USS Shenandoah (1923-5)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Shenandoah_(ZR-1)
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
If you see this post a vampire that isn't Dracula.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
You learned nothing from history. Sit the fuck down and think about what you have become.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
It's time.
Four happy children dance around a bonfire upon which a billionaire is being roasted.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
We should maybe look into adding involuntary bottom surgery into the range of punishments for some crimes.
A saintly image of a woman with a halo and a large knife.
Caption: invoking Saint Lorena Bobbitt after hearing some creep say "your body, my choice"
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Ah yes, I remember the mid-1990s.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Yub nub.
Three ewoks howl at the Death Star.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Nothing changed. RFK tried to start an autism registry. They intended to target these people because the Regime are religious nutjobs and fascists. And they still intend to, if they are not defeated.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
This, but for Moscow Mitch.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Trump has this idiot's energy.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Liberals are closeted fascists. Expect betrayal every time.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
You learned nothing from history. Sit the fuck down.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
How would you describe your social media reach?
A tumbleweed on a remote stretch of road.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Billionaire nutjob, entirely disconnected from reality.
A very large industrial conveyor pours white powder onto one of two giant piles of white powder.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
A police department that actually did their jobs would be busy arresting I.C.E. agents, instead of whatever lazy-ass nonsense this is.
An old, conservative man stands in a room graffitied with a circle-A and "I hate cops".
He says, "This is what the kids call based."
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
A photoshop still image from the ICP music video "Miracles" featuring Trump in Juggalo makeup, saying "fucking MAGA nuts".
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Hang in there, you cool cats.
A cat in a sea captain's uniform steers a wooden boat ahead of a large blue wave, while sea monster tentacles and thunderclouds threaten.
Caption: "This too shall pass. Ok...but like...when?"
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I knew Patel was an idiot, but wow.
A jar labeled "emergency clown nose" contains a red spherical object.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
They felt a great disturbance in the Force.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Learn from history. Nobody gets abandoned to the fascists.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
You learned nothing from history.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
If you're willing to throw any group under the bus, you learned nothing from history.
A rainbow lawn sign says "First they came for the immigrants and I spoke up because I know how the rest of the poem goes."
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I usually post some variant of the Martin Niemöller "first they came for" poem and tell the liberal it's pathetic that they learned nothing from history.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Miracles, you say?
Trump in juggalo makeup saying "Fucking MAGA nuts"
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
True story: across the street from this restaurant there's a life sized wooden statue of Rambo. Because this is in Hope, BC: the town where First Blood was filmed in the early 1980s, which they regard with pride for some reason. No, I have not had my picture taken with it (yet).
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
American cops are fascists.
A cop tries to hold their KKK uniform in place as the wind blows it.
Caption: "Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses."
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
We salute the heroes who resist the ICE Gestapo and this entire criminal administration. #Nuremberg2 is coming for you, fascists.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Clippy must roll a natural 20 to defeat Screendoor.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Billionaires might also consider that if the tax doesn't pass, cuts may be necessary.
An anthropomorphized guillotine says "Guwutine has the hunggies biwwionaires"
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
"The results will shock you."
A vending machine saying "Test your stupidity. Insert $100."
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Not very far from Jingle Pot...
A rural street sign reading "Town-Ho End"
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
You can almost hear the hamster wheels in their heads.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
A valve removal tool.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Post something random or you'll have an awful September
A painting of four kittens in a dune buggy on a beach. In the background: the ocean, a sailboat, a seagull.
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Matt Procedural ★8️⃣6️⃣4️⃣7️⃣★ @proceduraltexture.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Feeding your posts into this
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