Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I wish horror film studios would stop churning out movies with the same bullshit non-ending ending, while acting like it's high art. Filmmaking is storytelling. Stories end. ... 150
Reposted by Mallory Langstonryan cooper @ryanlcooper.com · 26/09/2026great piece. man social media is a cancer themomoftheyear.substack.com/p/im-the-mom...themomoftheyear.substack.comI’m the Mom in That Viral Giants Clip. Let Me Tell You About My Husband.You saw me carrying our baby and food. There was more happening in our family that night. 12352791344
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I'm so sick of my shit. (Trying to determine whether I've already watched this specific tsunami movie, or if I'm just thinking of any of the, idk 50???, other natural disaster movies I've watched in the past couple of years.) ... 130
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I forgot to tell y'all that we've got a boy raccoon with a crooked tail, and we know he's a boy because he showed us that BELLY. Enjoy: 1110
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I would do crimes for this opossum with one stripey ear. 2153
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I fear the baby raccoons are gonna learn a very stinky lesson about skunks and personal space. Also, fuck generative AI slop because real animals just living their lives are already impossibly cute. We never needed that planet-destroying shit. We just needed perfectly placed infrared cams. 1121
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 20/09/2026I think one of the opossums skeedaddled across the metal roof at the end here. 060
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 19/09/2026⬅️ Marked safe from being the white woman who picked up a rabid bat in downtown Minneapolis on 9/15 at noon 1150
Reposted by Mallory LangstonJennifer @jenniferscrazy.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Please only help if you are able. I am ready for 2026 to be over. #minterland 2185
Reposted by Mallory LangstonDr Strange PhD, Cat Lackey @ceeeyes.bsky.social · 18/09/2026#Minterland! Our friend @jenniferscrazy.bsky.social recently experienced severe storm damage. The hoomins and the kitties are fine, but the storm destroyed her catio 🥺. We're raising $ to replace it, and help pay for anything insurance won't cover. Please share 💜 www.gofundme.com/f/repair-tor...gofundme.comDonate to Repair Tornado Damage for Jennifer and Her Kitties, organized by Cee EyesRecently, a tornado struck near our friend Jennifer’s home, causing cons… Cee Eyes needs your support for Repair Tornado Damage for Jennifer and Her Kitties 62821
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Remaining 29% of Americans Say They're "All Hopped Up on Mountain Dew." 170
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 17/09/2026She'd be safe with me, and that's all that matters. 070
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 14/09/2026I'm starting to think Over the Hedge was a true story... 0100
Reposted by Mallory LangstonBarred and Boujee aka Madiba Dennie @audrelawdamercy.blacksky.app · 14/09/2026btw my birthday is on Friday! and the ideal gift would be you getting a copy of The Originalism Trap 🥳 for yourself or a friend, i mean. i already have several copies lol bookshop.org/p/books/the-...bookshop.orgThe Originalism Trap: How Extremists Stole the Constitution and How We the People Can Take It BackA rallying cry for a more just approach to the law that bolsters social justice movements by throwing out originalism—the theory that judges should interpret the Constitution exactly as conservatives ... 29832
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 13/09/2026We kept my nephew's kittens overnight (the 2 on the cat tree. That's my Elfo in the window.), and everybody got along fine. 8 cats counting our guests. 2 big dogs, one of whom is mostly Malinois. It's entirely possible that my house is, despite Disney's claims, the happiest place on Earth. 2204
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 12/09/2026Her tail is skinny because she's got babies, and she brought them with her last night. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 1100
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 09/09/2026For $3,000, I'll send you every video I capture of skinny-tail raccoon in perpetuity. Much better value. First taste is free. 280
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 09/09/2026MORE! MORRRREEEEE!!! MOOOOOORRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!! 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝 170
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 08/09/2026All three skunks (and a raccoon) were out there at the same time last night, and they are so pretty and unique, and I love them so stinking much (<--see what I did there?). 🦨🖤🥹 041
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Golf is for men who cheat on their wives and neglect/emotionally abuse their children. Other people might play, but it's not *for* them. In this essay, I will... 030
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 04/09/2026currently searching "how to offer raccoons uppies" 2110
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Types "how to domesticate skunk" in search engine... 290
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 01/09/2026I thought I was about to relive the Millennial Mufasa trauma, but nope. Wholesome as can be. 271
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Fortunately, I do get to pet these two, and my Louise is pretty close to coyote-shaped. 😁 190
Reposted by Mallory Langstonunclebernie.bsky.social @unclebernie.bsky.social · 28/08/2026An old colleague and friend of mine started a Non-Profit near San Francisco called Project Coyote! All about education and co-existence. Plus she advocates for their protection. projectcoyote.org please check them out!projectcoyote.orgHomepage - Project CoyoteWild carnivores are among the most heavily persecuted species in the United States, despite their critical role in our ecosystems. The aftermath of the 061
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 28/08/2026I know it's not a dog. I know it's not a pet. I know I can't pet it. But I can love it. I love it. 2245822
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Can't lie... I'm excited for the movie version of this. It's (A)merican Psychos(I)s, in which our Norman Bates/Patrick Bateman-esque adult son is the product of years of enmeshment with his chatbot "mother." Real world this? Yikes. 030
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Ryan's grandpa requested my cinnamon rolls for his birthday, and I regret to inform everyone that they are still absolutely worth all the effort. Dammit. 0170
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Raccoon, opossum, baby skunk. You can't tell me shiiiiit now. I'm a motherfucking Disney princess. Got the voice for it, too. I AM A GODDDDDDDD 370
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Today I learned of the existence of little penguins in Australia and New Zealand, and I just don't think it's fair that they get most of the marsupials AND the Polly Pocket penguin. Sigh. 2100
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 18/08/2026I've been putting birdseed and fresh water out every night for the early bird crowd, but it's apparently been going to the night owls instead. 😊 1101
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 15/08/2026Y'all (attorneys) ever think about the massive volume of information you had to MEMORIZE in order to get your degree and pass the Bar, just for, like, IDK, a single digit number of USSC decisions to render that knowledge useless? Maybe I'd be less annoyed if more of it were open book... 270
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 14/08/2026It was cringe when the middle-aged women of Facebook all generated yassified Christmas pajama hottie images. This is something far, FAR worse. Those women are, in the grand scheme of things, pretty fucking powerless. Aren't we all? This man, though, can do anything he wants. And he wants this: 250
Reposted by Mallory LangstonMichael Clemens @mclem.org · 12/08/2026Incredible. When E—n M—k & his crew obliterated USAID in a weekend, they deleted a vast trove of publicly-funded knowledge: the Development Experience Clearinghouse. A Canadian high school student (!) happened to have downloaded the entire thing for a project. AidData has now posted it for all.aiddata.orgBefore reimagining development data, remember what we’ve learnedWhy we’re publishing a free, searchable, and ungated archive featuring a quarter-century of USAID evaluation reports. 374442808
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 08/08/2026(Sound up) I had the audacity to watch the birds out the front door glass without Socks. 190
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 04/08/2026This is the same energy as the flight attendant who deployed the emergency slide (on the ground), grabbed two beers, and jumped. Kings among men. 0142
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 29/07/2026I don't know who needs to hear this today, but they couldn't just fly on the eagles to Mordor because THERE'S NOTHING INCONSPICUOUS ABOUT A GIANT BIRD IN THE SKY. You know who'd see that coming from miiiiiiiiiiiles away??? THE GIANT EVIL EYEBALL IN THE SKY. 051
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 28/07/2026I've been binge-watching documentaries for a couple of weeks, and I really think that, at my core, I am just a nosey little shit who longs to know things. I mean--er, ummm--I'm a "lifelong learner." 090
Reposted by Mallory Langston👻madeline bOoOoOoOodent👻 @oldenoughtosay.com · 18/07/2026God, if this ain’t the entire truth. Standardised tests measure one (1) thing, and that’s how good you are at playing the standardised test game. and once you realise that solving a Rubik’s cube is just a party trick, if you see someone bragging about it like it makes them better… it’s gross 2140240