Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 20hElfo makes me feel like the fascists are gonna lose. Please accept this Elfo hopecore in these trying times. 1212
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I knew that post had really broken containment when someone sent me a screenshot of it from Ariana Grande's Instagram. 😂 It's from November 2022, but it sure is evergreen. 110
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 05/10/2026No one has ever known suffering like Louise when I give someone else a treat. 3111
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 03/10/2026I'm trying to be mature about this, but LOOK AT THEM: 070
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Snapped this stunning photo of Socks while watching Talladega Nights with my two favorite humans in the entire world. An embarrassment of riches. 0181
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Socks vs Elfo with blind Tiger back there without a care in the world. 1152
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I forgot to tell y'all that we've got a boy raccoon with a crooked tail, and we know he's a boy because he showed us that BELLY. Enjoy: 1120
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 25/09/2026It's the way that the left ear stripes can only be perceived at the perfect angle that gets me. High crimes and misdemeanors for you, my little marsupial neighbor. Just tell me what you need. 070
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I would do crimes for this opossum with one stripey ear. 2163
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 22/09/2026In case you're wondering, here's the setup that captures this magic. It's a Wyze camera mounted to a studio monitor stand. 070
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I fear the baby raccoons are gonna learn a very stinky lesson about skunks and personal space. Also, fuck generative AI slop because real animals just living their lives are already impossibly cute. We never needed that planet-destroying shit. We just needed perfectly placed infrared cams. 1131
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 20/09/2026I think one of the opossums skeedaddled across the metal roof at the end here. 070
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 14/09/2026I'm starting to think Over the Hedge was a true story... 0100
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 13/09/2026This happened last night while we slept, so yes, yes, this is the good place. 080
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 13/09/2026We kept my nephew's kittens overnight (the 2 on the cat tree. That's my Elfo in the window.), and everybody got along fine. 8 cats counting our guests. 2 big dogs, one of whom is mostly Malinois. It's entirely possible that my house is, despite Disney's claims, the happiest place on Earth. 2204
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 12/09/2026Her tail is skinny because she's got babies, and she brought them with her last night. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 1100
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 09/09/2026Definitely a skinny tail. Consider these chunks for comparison. 120
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 09/09/2026For $3,000, I'll send you every video I capture of skinny-tail raccoon in perpetuity. Much better value. First taste is free. 280
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 09/09/2026MORE! MORRRREEEEE!!! MOOOOOORRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!! 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝 170
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 08/09/2026All three skunks (and a raccoon) were out there at the same time last night, and they are so pretty and unique, and I love them so stinking much (<--see what I did there?). 🦨🖤🥹 041
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 04/09/2026currently searching "how to offer raccoons uppies" 2110
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Types "how to domesticate skunk" in search engine... 290
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 01/09/2026What amazed me most is that the oppossum kept eating that entire time. After Yodie left, he stayed out there munching for another 15 minutes. This is him getting a drink before heading out. (Definitely the same one. I've got an SD card in the camera, so I can see everything, not just "events.") 040
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 01/09/2026Here's how it ended, so you can rest easy. Yodie (that's what I'm calling her) gets a good long drink from the bird bath that's on the ground to the left of the video before trotting off for the night. 150
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 01/09/2026I thought I was about to relive the Millennial Mufasa trauma, but nope. Wholesome as can be. 271
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Fortunately, I do get to pet these two, and my Louise is pretty close to coyote-shaped. 😁 190
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 28/08/2026I know it's not a dog. I know it's not a pet. I know I can't pet it. But I can love it. I love it. 2245822
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Ryan's grandpa requested my cinnamon rolls for his birthday, and I regret to inform everyone that they are still absolutely worth all the effort. Dammit. 0170
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Raccoon, opossum, baby skunk. You can't tell me shiiiiit now. I'm a motherfucking Disney princess. Got the voice for it, too. I AM A GODDDDDDDD 370
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 18/08/2026I'm guessing this is the mama of the much smaller skunk that I nearly spooked while filming the opossum. (Notice this one was filmed through the glass of the front door.) 140
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 18/08/2026I've been putting birdseed and fresh water out every night for the early bird crowd, but it's apparently been going to the night owls instead. 😊 1101
Mallory Langston @primnimproper.bsky.social · 08/08/2026(Sound up) I had the audacity to watch the birds out the front door glass without Socks. 190