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Dr. Joe

@portfolioso.com
33 followers 38 following 595 posts

Elon is a nutjob, so I came over here to see what's up | Platform Engineer | DevOps badass | Scripter of all the things portfolioso.com

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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 06/10/2026
Cancel the season! Yankees are a bunch of jerkoffs stranding the bases loaded in a 1-1 game and then the very next inning, the Rays play small ball and now all of a sudden, it's 3-1.
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 02/10/2026
My September ISP bandwidth, tracked via a custom ASUSWRT cronjob and a custom data ingest + dashboard I built
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 30/09/2026
I mean, this checks completely. Just look at him. Picture screams "ax murderer"
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 30/09/2026
Pro tip: also teach pup how to come down the stairs. I was so proud when I taught her how to go up the stairs and she figured it out. Problem was, she didn't know how to come down. She loved going up and thought it was a game, but would always cry for me to get her. This repeated for hours, lolz
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 30/09/2026
The jerkoff engineer I complained about constantly is now on paternity leave. Now that he's out, the amount of fuckery I am finding in his work is beyond a pain in my ass. Now I have to clean all this shit up. His paternity leave needs to be permanent, because the guy sucks at what he does
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 27/09/2026
I miss New York so much
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 26/09/2026
Joe's Pizza at 3:45am. I love New York City!
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 26/09/2026
You got doge? 😍
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 26/09/2026
I love it when they call me Big Poppa I only smoke blunts if they rolled propa
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 26/09/2026
Insufficient food. JFC. You ever go to an event and then you need to go out to eat later. Fuck outta hea
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 26/09/2026
Can uber drivers not soak themselves in a shit ton of cologne please and thanks. I'm fuckin dying in here. christ
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 23/09/2026
Jesus Christ almighty. Windows 11 is such a buggy piece oif bloated shit. Explain how the start menu becomes unclickable until a reboot. How does this bullshit happen? techcommunity.microsoft.com/discussions/... @microsoft.com get your shit together
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 20/09/2026
I find it cute that the three Indian families on my block all share one riding mower to do their yards with. One dude bought it but they just share it
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 18/09/2026
Good thing everything's so expensive that I just got paid today and the entire paycheck can't pay one of my credit card bills. My savings has been taking a shit
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 17/09/2026
10 years in prison is not good enough. You do this to a dog, the only thing acceptable is being sent foot first through a wood chipper
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 16/09/2026
Nothing is ever fucking easy where I work. You go to do the simplest bullshit and you end up down the rabbit hole fixing 20 fucked up libraries and wanting to choke out offshore engineers
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 16/09/2026
Who'da thunk suggesting that we should put the top 10 Billionaires into the Squid Games every year on Nextdoor would get you banned (I stand by this statement. Fuck a billionaire)
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 15/09/2026
Save this oak tree! share.google/fLyH881Mx4TM...
share.google
Arborists use supersonic air to save 300-year-old tree that survived American Revolution
The ‘witness tree’ in Eutaw Springs, South Carolina, also endured a lightning strike.
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 14/09/2026
Nope. Nope. Fuck this. Wrong direction. Cool the fuck down
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 14/09/2026
And it's so sweet too. "Sweet Virginia" lyric appearing many times in Foo Fighters songs and her song. Virginia is Dave's mom and her grandma
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 14/09/2026
Dave Grohl's kid putting out better music than the Foo Fighters in 2026 wasn't on my bingo card
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 14/09/2026
See, this is how you know I'm elderly. If you watched the Foo Fighter's 2011 Documentary Back and Forth, she was just a kid in it and begging her dad to go swimming with her. Now she's a whole ass musician
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 14/09/2026
How about it! Dave Grohl's kid dropping a bitchin rock jam music.youtube.com/watch?v=MHHP...
music.youtube.com
Violet Grohl - Bug In The Cake (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by VioletGrohlVEVO
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 14/09/2026
TIL there was a full on swing revival that happened in the 90s. Was watching For All Mankind and "Put a Lid on It" by Squirrel Nut Zippers came on and I was like "Damn, this reminds me of Hit the Road Jack" Went down the rabbit hole a bit hole and they recorded it with ribbon mics and tube amps
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 11/09/2026
25 years later and if you show me anything to do with the 9/11 rescue dogs, I am a complete sap
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 08/09/2026
7 year old just casually listening to Bulls on Parade in the other room, which is badass 🤘 #resist #makegoodtrouble
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 08/09/2026
I better get these motherfuckin Olivia Rodrigo tickets from the pre-sale request list. Ticketmaster can blow me. Wifey's got a milestone bday and I really don't have anything else planned. Also, I didn't get Dasiy Chain Fields, so I'm just banking that karma will be in my favor this time around
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 08/09/2026
Well hot damn. Silo Season 3 finale made for some fantastic television. That was probably one of the top 5 endings to a season. Ever.
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 03/09/2026
I will not waste a dime at a casino and I hate them, but I love me a casino buffet like I'm 75 with the AARP discount
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 02/09/2026
My boss hasn't bothered me for two weeks and the day I have fucking shit to do, he's coming at me with 95 audit problems for fucks sake
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 01/09/2026
Fuck this. Fuck this so much
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 31/08/2026
They put so much gd chlorine in our tap water. I just washed dishes for a while and my hands smell like I've been in a swimming pool all day
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 30/08/2026
Fuckouttahea with this shit. It was cooler all last week and now I need to put up with this noise?
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 30/08/2026
So much for the HOMES acronym. The fuck is it supposed to be now? HAMES. The fuck is hames
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 30/08/2026
Google is a fucking pile of shit because these motherfuckers and that piece of shit billionaire Sundar Pichai were among the first to listen to that rapist, 34-count felon motherfucker by renaming Lake Ontario. FOR FUCKS SAKE. What reality is this
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 28/08/2026
I've complained about Happy Eyeballs before. Happy Eyeballs is a gd jerkoff the second a dual-stack split-horizon DNS isn't 100% mirrored.
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 28/08/2026
How the ever living fuck am I supposed to read this captcha?
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 27/08/2026
I'm done with the bullshit state of the world and crashed out on Discord and on a text thread
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 27/08/2026
Y'all. My mid 2000s garage rock playlist. Bangers. Jussayin music.youtube.com/playlist?lis...
music.youtube.com
Joe's 2000s Garage Rock Revival Bangers
Playlist • Joe C.
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 26/08/2026
I'm gonna read Dolly's Coat of Many Colors to kiddo tonight in her honor. She got it from her Imagination Library program. I'm such a gd sap. I already couldn't get through it the first time. Idk how I'm gonna read it without losing my shit tn
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 26/08/2026
My Luna turned 10 today and I love her so much 😍
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 25/08/2026
In a time where everything is so fucked up and billionaires and oligarchs control everything, and society is in decline, Dolly was a true example of someone with such kindness, who understood the struggle, and gave back so much to kids with her Imagination Library. I am so sad
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 25/08/2026
Oh Jesus Fucking Christ, we lost Dolly Parton today? God damn it! She was a national treasure.
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 24/08/2026
I literally never even heard of this word in my life
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 24/08/2026
The one gd thing of river rocks I need at Menards is the only one out of stock and the people who need to forklift some more for me are busy loading a gd truck full of pavers and I don't have time for this shit
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 23/08/2026
Any time a streaming service raises prices, or locks the service down to one location while they make billions in profits and their execs are paid millions...
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 21/08/2026
Anyone remember when Microsoft didn't own GitHub and it wasn't a pile of shit with perpetual outages?
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 19/08/2026
twisted pairs are v. important. IDK how they're even allowed to be flat
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 19/08/2026
Also, someone needs to tell Frontier to stop usingg flat cat 6a cables to the ONT. I threw that right out and only had a cat5e replacement, but at least it's proper. Learned that one from you
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Dr. Joe @portfolioso.com · 19/08/2026
The same wifi router is 200-300mbps slower in my basement, tested with the same wifi 6 client from 5 ft... Only difference is the block foundation (bouncy!) and being near my main breakers = RF interference. Precisely why I don't put my wifi in the basment
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