Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Dear BBC News, There are many units for area, ideally pick an SI one. "Football pitches" are probably the silliest. 000
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 09/06/2026The year is 2026. Today I have spoken more to my graphics card than my family. 000
Reposted by Tom BirdRaj 🇬🇧🇪🇺🇮🇳💻🖥 (🌻🇺🇦;🇵🇸) @realcainmosni.bsky.social · 30/04/2026keepandroidopen.org/en/ Google will wall Android off from side-loaders, and boot out every app whose developer has not toed the line. They will do it with a silent update that reaches in and removes anything they don't like. Device owners have no say in the matter. via @lproven.bsky.socialkeepandroidopen.orgKeep Android OpenYour phone is about to stop being yours. In September 2026, Google will block every Android app whose developer hasn't registered with them. 122
Reposted by Tom BirdReform Party UK Exposed @reformexposed.bsky.social · 29/03/2026"GB News is essentially Reform TV" Alan Rusbridger on how GB News became Nigel Farage's broadcast arm – and who is paying for it.democracyforsale.substack.com"GB News is essentially Reform TV"Alan Rusbridger on how GB News became Nigel Farage's broadcast arm – and who is paying for it. 09342
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 19/01/2026Nice big advert over the @metoffice.gov.uk new app, that's an uninstall then. They made the web site worse too, it was all quite nice before, why do people constantly strive for mediocrity. 010
Reposted by Tom BirdIan Dunt @iandunt.bsky.social · 22/09/2025Reform are filth. They represent hatred, extremism, ignorance and irresponsibility. They'd make us a wretched vicious hateful little island. If people don't stand up to this, they won't stand up to anything. 391579378
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 18/06/2025My 2 year old was quite insistent that a parrot was an owl. I told him his memory had a parroty error. He wasn't amused. 020
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 05/06/2025The passive aggression of a cat that is just sitting there at food time looking at you and purring quite audibly. 010
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 11/04/2025Ever since I installed this blue sky app I have been very pleased with the results. 030
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 30/03/2025I did this in 2011. In the middle of the night 😤. The boat ride back was really good though and I saw whales. 030
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 17/02/2025I find the medium of ICMP really allows me to express myself. 041
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 11/01/2025My kingdom for a smartphone the size of the original iPod touch. 020
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 07/01/2025Got rid of my faecesbook account when it became obvious how much they facilitated brexit. No regrets. 020
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 06/12/2024Do wish Google would drop the "AI overview" at the top of the results. It's crap, "AI" for the sake of it. 110
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 25/11/2024Professional MasterChef is a month where I make jus instead of gravy. Stir it in? No mate, run it through! 010
Tom Bird @portfast.bsky.social · 18/11/2024Going to use my first post on this thing to say that I made a really good crème brulée and I'm rather happy with it. 1110
![[We see a close up of a young white male, tanned, white teeth, coiffed hair clearly an influencer on social media. It is an image such as you see when social media posts are shown on the news. In the corner of the screen is named a location: DUBAI. He is staring slightly off-camera for several silent panels of the comic strip. His eyes move slightly. He is having a thought.]
From off-screen a newsreader’s commentary comes:
NEWSREADER:
Extraordinary images here
of an expat in Dubai
[The influencer’s eybrows raise slightly]
…Having their first ever geopolitical thought.
[CUT TO a BBC news scene. The BBC newsreader CLIVE MYRIE is talking to an interviewee next to the screen showing the social media influencer’s face. The interviewee’s name is David Jones].
CLIVE MYRIE:
To explain the significance of this moment we’re joined by David Jones, our Expat Thoughts correspondent
DAVID JONES:
Clive, this is momentous
It was caught on film at the end of an Instagram post titled: ‘Dubai Is Brilliant’.
[Pointing at the screen, the influencer’s expression still the same]
You can clearly see in the eyebrows here, the dawning realisation that there *might* be something in the world beyond his dickhead self.
It marks a *huge* departure from all the Dubai Expat’s previous thoughts.
CLIVE MYRIE:
Which are…?
DAVID JONES:
You've Got To Get Yourself Out Here Mate, Everything Is So Clean, I Don't Have To Pay Taxes,
I Am Incurious As To Why I Do Not Have To Pay Taxes, and Spa.
CLIVE MYRIE:
And might we see an expansion of these new Thoughts in coming days?
DAVID JONES:
I think we can expect to see:
“I Deserve To Be Airlifted By A Country I Pay No Tax To”
CLIVE MYRIE:
Mmm.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibu6vuc7ofetq5hla3gfcknocotbfl3yk2ajczk6qfd2hnjxrav6q)