iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

One fact can take you surprisingly far if you stop asking questions at the right moment. Join the fan community for early clips, livestreams, and ticket deals. Link in bio. #Comedy #ConspiracyComedy #StandUp

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

You mean to say that League of Villains running the Pentagon doesn't know that polygraph tests aren't accurate and also a bunch of those dudes have probably been trained to beat them?

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Really taking "a tooth for a tooth" way too literally.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Gemini still has it right. If it says otherwise, correct it and tell it to update its memory.

Google Gemini stating that it's called Lake Ontario.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Everyone's feed today: Touching tribute Beautiful memory Sheer stupidity Touching tribute Beautiful memory F'kn clown show

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Every single time Rs give us some "support the troops" line of BS should be met with stories about this ship from now on.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

If you think Mike Lindell is weird and stupid, imagine how weird and stupid you'd have to be to work in his campaign team.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

I watched this on VHS so many times...

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

And this googly-eyed chud shouldn't be in charge of anything.

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Reposted by Phil Johnson

juhneenhow she/her @juhneenhowe.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

He would have less time to destroy everything if he was constantly fighting impeachment!!! Even if we don’t get the votes it slows everything down Impeach!!!

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Has Ukraine tried shooting Taylor Farms lettuce at the Russians?

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

"In the future every raccoon with a spinal issue will have 15 minutes of fame." - Andy Warhol

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Feeling vindicated in my lifelong dislike of Journey.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Darline Graham is the Gallagher II of politics

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Live your life in a way that people won't have folders of jokes pre-written for your death.

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Reposted by Phil Johnson

Brosephine Wires, Perennial Soup-Lover @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

how many dead gop senators does it take to unscrew a country

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

Every law was created because someone tried to work a loophole and take unfair advantage of the rest of society. All of those people gravitated toward one party and have made it their mission to get rid of all the laws that affect them. And then call themselves the party of law and order.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

Most of the nasty comments on my social posts show up overnight. Some people need to either get more sleep or stop being bots.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

I never believed in an actual Devil until I saw Christian Nationalism.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

Everything is performative with the Reds. Facts be damned.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Gee, I wonder who might have been "egging them on"?

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

How many days is this stupid empty state fair going on for?

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

Happy 100th birthday Mel Brooks! Proving the saying that if you do what you love you'll work til you're 100.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

This is real "There were 8 people at our 'sold' out comedy show" energy.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Stephen Miller: If I can't see my reflection in that pool, no one can! (Overly long evil laugh...)

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Morgan J Freeman @mjfree.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

😱😱😱 And just like that, it’s completely VANISHED from the media. A sitting congressman, Ted Lieu, said on the record the Epstein files are being blocked because they show Trump raped and threatened to kill children. Lets make this viral again 👇

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

Me after the gig when audience members say "Come do karaoke with us!"

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

Is someone going to mic up Hegseth at the UFC match so we can her him go "I could do that. I could do that."?

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

Conservatives are yelling at the wrong people for "stealing the rainbow". #pridemonth

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

Don't make me be the comedian that has to remind you to vote. You're a grownup. Just do it.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

Because science actually fixes things when done by good people.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

Bro bro bro your boat gently off a cliff, please.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026

I just used the money I got from a class action lawsuit against my health insurance company to make the payment to my life insurance company. Feeling pretty American right now.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 31/05/2026

Just went to a WWI exhibit at Moffett Field. Human beings have an amazing capacity for being assholes at scale.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

I don't like watching dudes jerk each other off which is why I don't watch Republican media.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

History is mostly repeated cycles of people not listening to historians.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

Stephen Miller is indeed ugly. But calling him a fuck is an insult to fucks.

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

I've seen section 8 houses that look better than the White House right now.

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Reposted by Phil Johnson

Ryan Thomas Johnson @rythojo.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

"We're playing what? I don't know, man...fine. A gig's a gig." Morris hangs up. A knock at the door. Jerome stands in the doorway holding a mirror so Morris can see himself...really see himself. Morris dials the booking agent, combing his hair with his free hand. "Yo... change of plans..."

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

"They gonna do wrasslin' at the White House!" - All of MAGA

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Phil Johnson @philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

USA is not giving Iran money for nothing. Nor chicks for free.

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